If You Only Knew
by AsagariMelody
Summary: Seth's wish to imprint has been granted after seven long years. Lily would bring an end his longing ache for love. Bright green eyes pierced his, she was breathtakingly beautiful. As she spoke to him, he understood it would be harder than he'd realized.
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: ****Twilight is all Stephanie Meyer, I own nothing.**

**AN:** So this is the prologue, of what could be my second fanfic, revolving around Seth and his imprint It takes place about six years after Breaking Dawn, in the same universe as Blossoming. You don't really need to read that one, to understand this one, there's also some info on my profile page.

* * *

Prologue

~*~

POV: Lily

~*~

Now it wasn't the best job in the world, but it was a start, and honestly the security of working in my Aunt's store wasn't a bad thing either. So when my mom had arranged for me to work here and stay with my Aunt, I agreed.

It felt wrong though, not the fact that she kicked me out, that I understood, but why now? Let's face it, I hadn't been exactly easy on her, not that she deserved it, but that's beside the point. I was concerned with the timing of it all, usually she would just ignore me, but not now, not this time. This time she had hit a breaking point and sent me to La Push.

My Aunt wasn't so bad, she knew her sister well, so she was perfectly aware of the fact that my mom wasn't much of a mom at all. She expected me to do my job and abide by her rules, which wasn't hard to do at all, since there were only a few simple ones.

Number one: Earn my living, she let me stay with her for free, so that meant helping around the house.

Number two: Take the job seriously, no cutting corners or coming in late, do the job I was paid to do.

Number three: No men allowed in the house without her permission.

As I said, simple, reasonable rules, it was easy enough for me to honor them. Since she didn't charge me anything, it was easy for me to start saving, so that I could soon move into a place of my own. LaPush suited me, the simplicity of it, the lack of big crowds, it reminded me very much of the reservation I grew up on.

So my plan was to look for a house here, it didn't have to be big, I just wanted something where I could be myself. Next to the hours I was scheduled to work, I would volunteer whenever there was need for a pair of extra hands. At the house I cleaned and cooked as much as I could, showing her how grateful I was for the way she was providing for me.

As far as men go, that was no problem for me, I had decided a long time ago that I would never let one get close to me. I refused to be some dumb bimbo, for a guy to use me for sex and food, for being the one standing by while he drank himself fat in front of the television, to eventually leave me when some younger bimbo came skipping by. No I had it good, and men were just no use for me.


	2. First contact

**Disclaimer: ****Twilight is all Stephanie Meyer, I own nothing.**

**AN:** Initially I had planned to smooth out the time difference between Blossoming and this one, but I just couldn't let this one sit in my mind, not doing anything with it. So my new plan is, update Blossoming more often that this one, so eventually they will play out in the exact same time frame.

* * *

First contact

~*~

POV: Seth

~*~

Walking into what was the grocery store in LaPush, I realized how long I hadn't been here, my mom did all the shopping, yes I know, I'm 22 and I'm living with my mother. Honestly I didn't mind at all, I loved my mom, besides I've yet to meet a cook as magnificent as my mother. Charlie, her boyfriend, and I got along just fine, he had moved in a few years ago, but I could do pretty much whatever I wanted.

So, when she asked me today if I could pick up some stuff, I was glad to do it. While I was searching for the things I needed, she suddenly caught my eye, wow, she was so beautiful. I let the air escape through my teeth as I walked up to her, she turned to face me, knocking the breath right out of me when we locked eyes.

Seeing nothing but her face, I was pulled towards her, so I made the final steps outing myself in front of her. Finally, I had imprinted, a smile appeared on my face, I had been waiting for this day the last six years. I was lucky too, she was gorgeous, especially those hellish green eyes, which were piercing mine.

We stood there for a while gazing at each other, just when I was about to open my mouth to speak, she beat me to it, and what came out certainly wasn't pretty.

"Are you sure you wanna do that?" Looking at me like I was the ugliest person she'd ever laid eyes on, completely stupefied, nodding was all I could do.

"You have got to be kidding me, do they grow them big and dumb around here," as if that wasn't enough she arrogantly added, "look at you, you don't think I want to be seen with someone like you." With that she turned around and strode off.

What was that?! I had no idea; the one thing I did know was that it hurt, a lot. Without any better ideas, I decided to resort to the store owner, my mom's friend Beth, for some information. A few minutes later I had learned that she was Beth's niece, her name was Lily and that she was 19 years old. Great a lot of good that did me, I decided to give it another try after I had paid for everything.

~*~

POV: Lily

~*~

I was now racing into the back as fast as I could, if I had gotten out of there any later, I wouldn't have been able to keep it up. Guilt gnawed at me, when I thought about the hurt look on his face. I wasn't pretty or good looking at all, but somehow that line always worked, it probably had something to do with their huge ego's.

Scanning the aisle where I had been busy a few minutes ago, I got back to the unfinished job, he was nowhere to be seen, and I suppressed the part of me that was disappointed. The fact that he was gone was a good thing, I told myself, men were of no use at all.

You can probably imagine my surprise when he turned up next to me a few minutes later. He had to be stupid, there was no other option, not one man with even a few brain cells hiding somewhere in his head, would put himself through that again.

"Are you serious with this shit?!" I said, "Get it through your thick skull, you, me, not going to happen." I backed it with a classic low insult, "you have to be completely retarded to even try to talk to me, let alone trying it after I'd made very clear, that you didn't even have a shot in hell" and finishing with "get out of here, now!"

That did it, he sauntered of with slumped shoulders and a sad/angry look on his face. Satisfied with my results I got back to the job at hand. He wouldn't be back I assured myself, it made me feel relieved and sad at the same time.

~*~

Pov: Seth

~*~

Over the next weeks I kept going to the store as many times as I could manage without being suspicious, always trying to get near her, but she avoided me like I was covered in hives. It had gotten so bad that I had finally accepted the help some of the wolfgirls had offered me, I didn't like their plan at all, but I was getting desperate.

So one day I followed her home from the store, she had gotten a place for herself now, then I got almost all of the gas out of her tank, so I could hide in my car down the road. The plan was to drive up and offering help, her place was quite secluded, so there was only one route out, guaranteeing me with a sure confrontation

~*~

POV: Lily

~*~

Almost two months had passed since I arrived, I was actually quite content with my life, my funds had grown considerably, and two weeks back; I had actually found a place to rent. From the outside it didn't look like much, but I was pleasantly surprised when I saw the inside. It turned out to have three bedrooms, that way I could even create a room for my sisters, for when they would visit me.

I had moved in last week, well that meant I had a mattress in the bedroom, some kitchen stuff and a few pieces of furniture. Today I had finished my shift at four o 'clock and headed home, I was planning on starting with the painting as soon as I had eaten.

Just as I headed into the kitchen my phone rang , the only ones calling me were my sisters and my Aunt, I had left my Aunt at the store, so that meant my sisters were calling me and I skipped to pick it up.

"Lily speaking" I said in a cheery tone. No answer….

"Hello?" I asked, that's when a soft sobbing reached my ears.

"Chrissy, is that you?" concern and worry dripping from my voice.

"Lily, when are you coming home?" my little sister asked me in a small unsteady voice.

"Chrissy what is the matter?" she was full on crying now.

"You have to come home! M-mommy has a-a new f-friend, he's r-really mean!" she cried.

"I'm coming baby, I'm coming, hold on! I'm leaving now!" I ran outside grabbing my keys, it was a two hour drive to my mother's house, so I wouldn't be there before seven thirty. My stupid mother, another one of those loser boyfriends she had been bringing home for the last six years, ever since my good for nothing father left her.

"Shit. Shit! SHIT! FUCKING HELL!!!" I yelled loudly when my car refused to go any further before I had even left LaPush, no gas, how could I be so stupid!

Just when I was about to curse myself some more for forgetting to fill my tank, I saw a car approaching, I got out quickly and waved my arms wildly. The car slowed down, it worked! But when I saw who got out of it, my heart sunk into my shoes, it was _him._

"Can I help you?" he asked coolly, flirt Lily, flirt with him!

"I hope so, see, I seem to have forgotten to fill up on gas, now it won't go any further" I said pointing towards my car, while batting my eyelashes.

"Well, I can give you a lift home," he raised his eyebrows, not impressed at all with my attempts to get on his good side.

"I'm not going home, it's an emergency, I have to be somewhere!" I tried not to sound desperate, but he caught it anyway.

"Is there an actual emergency or are you just making this up?" he eyed me suspiciously.

"Of course there is! Do you think I'm lying to you!?" I was now fighting to keep my tears in.

"Shit! Stupid! Shit! Fuck!" ok, now he was acting weird, what was he so upset about.

"Excuse me?" I said dryly.

"Listen, I'll drive you, wherever you need to go," he offered. I was reluctant, but I was desperate to get to my sisters, so eventually I accepted and got in the car with him.

The ride was quiet, I was grateful that he was driving me all the way down to the Shoalwater reservation, where I grew up, but honestly I had no idea what to say to him. My mind wandered to the conversation I had with Chrissy, she sounded so scared, things made a lot more sense now.

He had probably been the reason for her mother's sudden change of heart, for some reason I had been in the way, perhaps the guy had been afraid I was gonna talk or something. Now the loser was terrorizing my little sisters, they were only nine and five, could it get any sicker than that.

As if having my drunk ass mom around all the time apparently wasn't enough for them to deal with, now they had a second one to look out for. Shit, I should have told them to go to Mrs. Lavender on the corner, to wait for me there, stupid me, why didn't I think of that sooner.

"Lily?" he was looking at me.

"How do you know my name?" yeah keep being a bitch to him, he'll turn right around, be patient dammit!

"Oh, sorry, Beth told me, that day when I first saw you at the store, remember that?" Of course I remember, I had been watching the door like a hawk every day since that day, secretly hoping that that day would be the day he would show his face again.

It was absolutely lame and I would never consciously admit it to myself, just because he looked good, didn't mean he wasn't useless. Except for today of course, but that was a one time thing, after today things would go back to the way they were.

"Hmm, I might remember something, but it's vague" oh right, real subtle Lils, quickly change the subject.

"So, you know Beth?" I asked him.

"Yeah, she and my mother are good friends, she used to babysit my sister and me when we were little, I'm Seth by the way" he explained. Loser, you should've at least asked him his name before you got in the car with him!

"Oh, right," I had no idea how to respond to the fact that she was as much an aunt to him as she was to me, probably more even, I hadn't seen her for years before I moved to LaPush.

"So, are you gonna tell me what the emergency is?" he cocked his head to side as he looked at me again. Well I might as well give him the cliff notes of my life's story, since it was better for him to be prepared before we got to Tokeland.

"I'll tell you, but you're gonna keep your mouth shut about it when we get back to LaPush," I gave up trying to be nice, it wasn't working, I couldn't do that and keep him at a distance at the same time.

"Sure, whatever you say, it's fine by me," he complied.

"Ok well, my mother got very fond of liquor after my father left, don't know why, he was a bum! At the end of February this year she suddenly got sick of me and kicked me out, she arranged a job at my aunt's store for me, I didn't have to go there, but it was easy. When I left, my two sisters stayed with her, but today de oldest of the two called me and told me that mom's new boyfriend was really mean, and asking when I was coming home" that were all the vitals I believe.

As long as I had been talking, my head was turned to the window, the green passing before my eyes. But when he didn't respond after a while, I looked at him, my mouth dropped as I took in his face and posture. His eyes had darkened , his mouth formed a hard line, his jaw was clenched, my eyes drifted down to see that the muscles in his arms and hands were tight, gripping the wheel like his life depended on it.

He was so angry, it was unbelievable, he was actually shaking, why would it bother him so much? He didn't think that I had intentionally tricked him, did he, I looked at him again. Taking in his massive size and muscles, combined with the anger on his face, they formed a potentially very dangerous man.

Seriously Lily, you need to grow a brain, not for one second had I even considered the fact that he could pose a serious threat. Even now, the anger didn't suit him, it didn't go with his face, like it was very unusual for him to get mad at all.

He breathed in deeply a few times and the shaking subsided, when he looked at me he seemed to notice my distress

"Don't worry Lily, I am not mad at you or anything. You don't need to be scared of me, I would never hurt you" wow, had I been that transparent?

"Yeah, ok, whatever," if he was planning on hurting me, he wouldn't tell me that now would he, so it didn't matter very much, whatever he was telling me.

"Will you stop jumping down my throat?" he sighed deeply "I haven't done anything to deserve that kind of treatment, so could you at least try to be civil?"

"Well, I can't promise you anything, but I'll try," and just like that the smile reappeared on his face, a beautiful, full of perfect teeth, dazzling smile.

"That's enough for me. So listen, about your sisters, what is your plan?" Plan? I didn't have a plan, I had gotten in my car right after I had hung up the phone.

"Honestly, I don't know, I guess I'll figure it out when we get there?" I made it sound like a question, because I wasn't really sure.

"Maybe, we could try to think it through a bit, before we get there," I nodded in response, that made sense. "For instance, do you want to take them with you, back to LaPush?" Oh yes, yes, I would love to take them with me!

"Do you think I could?" I asked, afraid of the answer.

"Yes, I think you can, you are an adult and their closest relative, it might take a while to make it official, but I'm sure it could be done. As far as taking them tonight, that kinda depends on the circumstances, I mean, she didn't call you out of the blue, there must be something going on right?" my stomach clenched, a sick feeling spread throughout my body, please let them be ok.

"Yes, you're probably right, she was crying and begging me to come to her, so there must be something that triggered her to do that" don't cry, you're gonna stay strong, I fought my tears back and thought of Chrissy and Maddy, smiling up at me.

"Promise me one thing?" he caught my eyes with his, "stay calm, don't do anything to endanger yourself or your sisters, rely on me, even if it's just for today, I've got your back" he had taken charge now, and I stepped in line like a good little soldier.

"Ok, I'll be careful" I replied.


	3. Thank you

**Disclaimer: ****Twilight is all Stephanie Meyer, I own nothing.**

**AN: **My previous updates have been altered a bit, so if you've read them before today, you might recognize a part from this chapter. Read on though, the second part is new, so this isn't a bogus update. A little bit about Lily, don't judge her or her actions please, she has led a very rough life and sees only the bad in the world.

Lots of thanks to my beta 'yay4shanghai' for helping me straighten out the chapters!

* * *

Thank you

~*~

POV: Lily

~*~

We arrived at my mother's house half an hour early, I didn't pay much attention on the way over, but must have been speeding the entire time. As soon as I came into view the front door opened, Chrissy and Maddy ran over to me, grabbing me as hard as they could, fear written all over their faces.

"Where have you gone, you little shits?!" a voice that I instantly recognized as my mother's, came from inside the house. My mother stepped out the door, she looked terrible, a crooked smile appeared on her face when she saw me.

"Good, you're here, those two have gotten really annoying since you left, now that you're back, you can take care of them for me!" she walked over to me, or at least she tried, she tripped over her own feet within three paces.

"Fuck!" she cursed "Wayne, come help me baby!" she whined loudly and then a disgusting excuse of a man appeared in the doorway.

"What have you done now, you blind cow!" and she laughed, she actually laughed at his remark, horrified I watched the scene playing out in front of me.

"I fell down, so stupid of me, help me up?" she flicked her hair, before holding out her hand to him, she was obviously flirting with him, it was the grossest thing I'd ever witnessed.

As soon as she was up, her eyes returned to me as did his, his eyes turned dark when he saw me, which caused Seth to move closer to me, taking his place slightly in front of me protectively.

"My daughter came back Wayne, see isn't that great, now she can take care of the these little," my mother joked darkly.

"She's not coming back Marge, that little slut wasn't welcome here, she can go right back where she came from, but the small ones are staying!" A nasty feeling took over me, when he looked at my sisters, the way he did now.

"I'm not coming back, I'm taking them with me!" I said loudly.

"Good, good, you should take them, they irritate the hell out of me!" my mother said, a sharp pain shot through my heart, how could a mother abandon her children live that? It was like there was a stranger living inside my mother's body. We moved a little backwards towards the car, but then Wayne came forward, not taking his eyes of my sisters, who started screaming now.

"You ain't taking these girls nowhere," he said with a threatening tone.

"That's not your decision to make" Seth's voice was extremely cool and calm as he spoke, but his mouth betrayed him, by twitching slightly.

A police car arrived, parking their car next to Seth's, but Wayne didn't seem to notice, he clenched his fist and took a swing at Seth. Wayne was obviously very out of it, because although he managed to hit Seth, it barely had any effect.

The police took over and grabbed Wayne, cuffing him on the spot, now my mother finally showed signs of protest. She ran towards the cop holding her precious Wayne, pouncing on him with her long red nails ready to scratch and claw.

Eventually both Wayne and my mother were sitting in the back of the police car, another one had arrived, so there were now a total of four cops present. Two cops apparently searching my mother's house, one of them was taking our statements and another was taking Mrs. Lavenders statement, she had been the one to call the cops.

The cop talking to us asked me if I was related to the girls, after explaining everything, he told me it was best if I took them with me. My heart sighed in relief, they were coming home with me, if we were needed for anything it would be sufficient for us to go to the police station in Forks.

It was at least nine before we could go home, I looked at the clothes the girls were wearing, concluding that there wouldn't be anything useful in their closets. So all I took from the house were the photo albums and a few blankets. I thanked Mrs. Lavender for everything she'd done for us over the years, and then we left, the girls sprawled across the backseat, covered in blankets.

We drove off, a smile appeared on my face, I would never let them go, they would stay with me, I would care for them as best I could. The thought of us being together, being a small weird family, made me happy, for the first time in years, I was happy.

~*~

POV: Seth

~*~

It didn't take very long for Lily's sisters to fall asleep in the backseat, they looked so peaceful, fear wiped from their faces. They were like miniature versions of their sister, Lily, who was staring out of the window, she was far away in her thoughts, which gave me the opportunity to really look at her.

After a while a slow careful smile spread over her face, which was the first time I saw her smile, I reveled in it as long as I could; she was so breathtakingly beautiful. She was a tough one though, now I understood a whole lot better why. Being the one to care for her sisters to take on the mother role, I couldn't even imagine what it would be like, I mean, I'm grown and my mother still takes care of me.

Now she was going to do it again, it would be hard for her, she was definitely going to need help. I wasn't stupid enough to think she was going to accept mine, but maybe my mom could help out. That would mean she needed to be in the loop, Lily wouldn't like that, it would take a lot of convincing, better get started then!

"Lily?" she jumped a little when I took her out of her thought so suddenly.

"Yeah…" she answered cautiously.

"Will you tell me about your sisters?" maybe it would be easier to talk, if the subject didn't contain her.

"Uhm…" she hesitated, but eventually decided it was ok, because she continued "Christina, or Chrissy is the oldest one, she's nine, she's very shy, except when she's around animals, she loves dogs." Lily smiled again and my heart skipped a beat. "Madeline, Maddy is five, she talks a lot, really a lot! She's so smart, she started school this year, within a month she had made her teacher fall in love with her," she said with a gleam of pride in her eyes.

"So is Lily short for something too?" trying to keep my voice light, would she answer or shut me out?

"Nope" well she answered, but she was definitely not ready to talk about herself, quickly, change the subject.

"Ok," I waited a few seconds "so I've met your mother, what about your father, when did he leave?"

"He left six years ago, six months before Maddy was born, he left when he found out my mom was pregnant again," she sighed.

"He was such a loser, lazy, always unemployed, drunk most of the time. At first I thought it was a good thing that he left, but shortly after my mother started drinking, not in the way my father had, he drank a lot, but he was harmless. She lost her job, she started getting worse every day, apparently she couldn't live without him," her voice full off disgust.

"He didn't love her, he liked to be taken care of, it was easy to have her around, she cooked and he could fuck her whenever he wanted," the harsh tone sent a shiver down my spine.

"Children were an annoyance in his eyes, so when the third one was on the way, he split." I thought she was going to say more, but she stayed quiet.

"It will be good for them, to stay with you I mean, you did the right thing." I waited a moment before I went on, "It's not gonna be easy, caring for them and working at the same time, you're gonna need help," wait for it, wait for it, she opened her mouth to say something, then it came…

"You're right," she said with a defeated look on her face.

"What?!" did she just say that I was right?!

"I don't have a support system, I don't…" but she didn't finish.

"It's Friday, do you have to work this weekend?" I asked her.

"No, I'm free on the weekends, Beth always has enough help on the weekends. I should talk to her soon though, see if I can work during school hours, that way I will be home when the girls are. I'll have to enroll them next week, they should be back at school as soon as possible."

"That's a good idea." By the way she was approaching this, I could tell she was very practical.

"Oh fuck!"

"What?!" I started looking around to see what was wrong.

"Clothes, they don't have clothes!"

"Jesus woman, you scared me!" I laughed and to my surprise she started laughing to.

"I think I have an idea, will you check the glove compartment, my phone should be in there," she opened it and gasped.

"It's filled with crap! Am I supposed to go through that?!"

"Aw, don't be a baby, besides, it can't be far," she started lifting items with the tips of her fingers, completely grossed out, but she found it and handed it to me.

"Here!" she threw the phone in my lap "next time, get it yourself!" her bantering went in one ear and out the other, the only thing I heard was 'next time' and it made me smile.

"Sure sure" I said while dialing.

"_Seth?"_

"Yeah it's me"

"_What happened? We didn't hear from you and we found Lily's car on the side of the road?"_

"Nessie, I'll explain later, listen do you still have clothes from when you were younger?"

"_What?!"_

"It's for a friend, their luggage got lost," I quickly lied.

"_I'm sure I Alice kept most of it, what sizes do you need?" _she still sounded confused.

"Just a sec." I turned to Lily to asked her what the clothes and shoe sizes were and relayed the information to Nessie.

"Oh Ness, could you add a size larger too, uhm, would it be too much to ask you to drop them off at Sue's?"

"_Sure, no problem, you owe me one hell of an explanation though!"_

"Thanks Ness, you're the best!" then I hung up.

"So, problem solved" I said to Lily.

"Are you sure, I don't want to put anyone out"

"Trust me, this girl had so many clothes growing up, she probably didn't even wear half of them and it's not like she's gonna need them now."

"Ok, but… don't you think… they're gonna ask questions?" she was really worried, she didn't want anybody to know.

"Listen, we'll just keep to the story that they're staying with you for a while and that their luggage got lost, nobody needs to know the details, ok?"

When we arrived at her house it was almost eleven, but as soon as the car stopped the car stopped, the girls woke up. I helped them out of the car, as soon as we entered the house, a nasty burning smell surrounded us.

"Shit, dinner!" Lily ran to the kitchen, grabbed the pot from the stove and threw it in the sink.

Meanwhile I scanned the living room and kitchen, completely shocked by the lack of furniture, the walls were in a desperate need of a paint job as well, the house wasn't in bad shape, but it was definitely looked worn out.

"Listen, I'm gonna go and get those clothes and some food, I'll be back soon" I said and ran out to my car.

The moment I stepped through the door, everybody was bombarding me with questions, Mom and Charlie were both home, Nessie and Jake were there too, Embry and his imprint Nadira, were as well.

"Stop, I'll explain, but please don't interrupt me, I'm in a hurry," I said, trying my best not to make it sound grumpy, but I wanted to get back to them.

"Ok, Seth, we'll listen" my mom said.

"Ok, you all know I couldn't get my imprint, Lily, to talk to me, so finally I agreed to put a plan that Nessie and Nadira thought up to the test. I drained her car from gas, so I could be her savior as soon as she ran out completely. I know stupid plan, but I was desperate, so I did it anyway… It turned out that she was just on her way to the reservation where she is from, to pick up her sisters, so I drove her and we picked them up. Their luggage got lost so now the girls have no clothes, so I decided to call Nessie, I dropped them off and now I'm here to pick up the clothes and some food if you have it." Pfew that was a lot of information in one breath.

Nobody said anything, but they all started moving around, Sue and Nadira were putting food into those Tupperware things, while the others were putting boxes in my car.

"Alice labeled them on size, so it should be easy to see what's what," Nessie whispered.

Nadira put everything in a bag and handed it to me "there should be enough for three girls and a wolf" she said with a big grin.

Mom put a box, filled with kitchenware, in my hands "Beth told me she just moved into her own place, so she could probably use this" she said, while kissing me lightly on my cheek.

I just stood there looking at them, I knew, that they knew, that my story was not the truth, or at least not the whole truth, but they knew I would have a good reason if I didn't tell them everything, so they trusted me and said nothing.

"Thanks guys" it wasn't enough, but somehow it was.

I raced back to Lily's place, where I started unloading, when Lily came outside, I placed the food and kitchenware in her hands, she took them, but didn't move. When I noticed that she was still standing there, I stopped pulling out boxes and turned to look at her.

"What is it?" I said with a big smile on my face, she was definitely overwhelmed with all the stuff I'd brought with me.

"What… How… That's…I can't…" she stuttered.

"Well these are the clothes I promised you," I said pointing at the boxes "you're holding the food and some kitchenware my mother had to spare. As far as the how, I've got good friends and a kick ass mom. It's not too much, because nobody would be using it, even if you wouldn't have them. So yes, you can accept them and you will!" Jeez, I was doing a lot of talking today!

"Well, ok then" and she started walking towards the house, when she turned around again "are you sure you didn't tell anybody?"

"Lily, I promised you I wouldn't, so I didn't and I won't," I assured her.

When we had taken everything inside, we sat down at the kitchen table and Lily put the food on plates for us, when she put a plate in front of me, I looked up raising my eyebrows.

"You're eating right?" she said.

"I am, if it's ok with you" I replied, she didn't say anything, but left the plate where it was, we started eating, but on the inside I was jumping with joy.

"Lily, this is really good!" Maddy exclaimed.

"I'll let my mom know you liked it" I smiled at her, I was pleased when to see I got a big smile from her, in return.

"Will you thank your mother and your girlfriend for me?" Lily said then and I almost chocked on my food.

"Girlfriend, what girlfriend?" I asked loudly, horrified by the idea that she was under the impression that I had a girlfriend.

"I assumed that the girl you got the clothes from was your girlfriend, you sounded very close to her," she said.

"Well, she's not" then I thought I'd better be very clear about this. "I don't have a girlfriend. We're all really close, like a big family, but Nessie is engaged to one of my closest friends Jacob."

"Oh, that's nice"

After we had finished eating, Chrissy and Maddy were so tired, they were practically falling asleep at the table. So we took them into, what seemed to be the biggest bedroom, where a big mattress was placed on the floor, that's where we laid them down and covered them with a big blanket.

"So, I think it's time for me to go," I said when we got back to the kitchen.

"Yeah, right," she said, but when I started walking to the door, she grabbed me and did the last thing I expected her to do, she kissed me.

Oh Jesus, it felt so good to feel her soft lips on mine, her hands went up to my neck and I firmly gripped her hips. Then her hands started moving down again, just when I thought she was going to pull back, her hands moved to my belt, trying to unbuckle it. That's when I seized her hands to stop her, I was still panting when I released them, taking a step backwards.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"It's ok, I don't mind," she said, taking a step forward.

"You don't mind what?" I asked stepping back again, while eyeing her suspiciously.

"Don't you want to have sex?" She said raising her eyebrows like she had just asked me if I wanted a cookie. I stood there gaping at her, was she serious with the sex question?

"I figured you would want something in return for what you did tonight," shrugging her shoulders casually. I cringed when I understood what she was saying, hurt stabbed at my heart like a knife.

"You were going to have sex with me as… as a thank you?!"

"Well, sure, it's not that big a deal" she said, but I could hear the shame in her voice.

"Lily, it is a big deal to me, I don't need anything in return, just a 'thank you' is enough."

"Thank you, Seth" she finally said a bit sadly and closed the door behind me.

* * *

**AN: **So, I think you've noticed this story is a little different from 'Blossoming'. On one hand it's what I like about it, but at the same time, it's very unnerving!

So please let me know what you think ;)


	4. Helping out?

**Disclaimer: ****Twilight is all Stephanie Meyer, I own nothing.**

**AN: **Thanks to everybody who left me a review, they're encouraging me so much! Just to show you how grateful I am, I'm giving you another update;)

Well, I threw my updating schedule for this story out the window! I'm loving writing it too much too keep to a slow pace, so I'm just gonna forget about the time line and keep writing as it comes to me! I'll catch up eventually, I hope ;)

A big shout out to 'yay4shanghai' my beta for this story!  


* * *

Helping out?

~*~

POV: Lily

~*~

I closed the door deliberately, he had refused me, it shouldn't hurt this much, but it did nonetheless. I leaned against the now closed door and let myself slide down to the floor, giving in to the unexpected pain it caused me.

I had been the one to assume he would want that, even though he hadn't even given the slightest hint, but I did it anyway and so shamelessly at that. Considering the fact this would have been the first time I initiated it, it was shocking that I wouldn't have minded doing it with him. Of course that would happen to me, the one time I wanted to, I had been turned down, how ironic.

Weren't all men supposed to jump at the opportunity of sex? Never had I been in this position before, I didn't expect handouts. I wasn't one to dream of being rescued by a knight in shining armor, I lived in the real world, knowing full well that things didn't work like that.

I wouldn't sit around waiting for the world to change, for one: it would be a hell of a long wait, secondly: I didn't mind fending for myself, being independent, that way I would never owe anything to anybody. Why was this so different, why did I felt so inclined to let him into my life?

At least I was sure, that the few 'favors' I had accepted over the years, weren't hanging over me, no one would be coming to collect, claiming some unfinished business. Which brought me back to Seth, how much could I trust him when he told a simple thank you would do, a small part of me felt like believing him, but in majority I remained skeptical.

This wasn't anything small, the things he had done for us, in fact, it was more than anyone had ever done. So what would be his reason for doing that, if he wasn't wanting anything in exchange, it didn't add up. Another person might have said something like "maybe he was just being nice." Not me though, another thing that didn't exist, people being nice for no reason whatsoever, there was always an ulterior motive.

Now Seth was under the impression I was attracted to him, ok maybe I was, just a little bit, but he didn't have to know. He wasn't attracted to me, that's what mattered, I wasn't going to put myself in a vulnerable position. The first time I would see him, I would tell him that, so he wouldn't be bothered with the idea of me expecting something from him.

I would let him know that it had been a onetime offer, that it had been a combination of gratitude and guilt that had conveyed me to do it. In no way was I letting myself lean on him, well not more that I had today at least, I was not getting attached.

That was exactly the reason I had been such a bitch to him that first day, keeping him at a distance had been absolutely necessary. My behavior today had proven that, beyond a doubt. I had let him take care of everything, stupidly I had been letting him in, by telling him things I had never told anybody.

My excessive yawning told me I needed to get some sleep, I forced myself to get up and stop whining, there were a lot of things that needed to be done tomorrow. I made a mental checklist while walking to the bedroom.

1. Talk to Beth about a schedule change. I hoped she would be able to work something out with me, otherwise I would have to look for another job.

2. Getting the car, there should be a jerry can of gas around here somewhere and it wasn't parked that far.

3. The girls and I needed to search through the clothes that were donated to us today, seeing what we could use, checking what else we might need.

4. I wanted to thank the person who gave us the clothes as well as Seth's mom personally, that was going to be tough since I had no idea who they were or were they lived, but I'm sure I'd figure out.

I pushed the bedroom door, to find my sisters sprawled across the mattress, taking up most of it, except for the area below their feet, it wasn't much, but enough so that I could sleep. Watching at them, sound asleep, I filled with emotion. It was the best feeling in the world.

I'd make sure they stayed with me, no matter what it took, keeping them here was my first priority. Silently I grabbed another blanket and nestled myself on the lower half, so I was lying just beneath their feet, sleep took me as soon as my head laid down.

~*~

POV: Seth

~*~

You stupid shit! Did you actually think she was warming up to you! Right, well that was smart, because she obviously wasn't. She had done it out of obligation, thinking she needed to repay me in some form or another. Ugh, like I would ever expect something like that from her!

I got in my car, completely frustrated with myself, pulling out of her driveway, I needed to get over myself, self pity never helped anybody. I thought about their living arrangements, the house was fine, it needed some work, but I could easily do that. She would need to get some furniture though, maybe she could check out some yard sales or something.

The last four years I had been working for Sam's construction company, a lot of us worked there. It made sense, most of us were quite handy, strength wasn't a problem and well, we didn't need to come up with weird excuses, in case of a pack emergency.

Tomorrow I would get started on Lily's house, I'd better bring someone, it would be a hell of a job to do alone. Maybe Quil could help, Claire wasn't here this weekend anyway, it would take his mind of her. First I needed to get her car, she would need it tomorrow, so I went to get the can that held the gas I had taken from her car.

In the morning, I woke early, I had set my alarm to make sure I wouldn't oversleep. Quil had already agreed to come with me and told me Mason would join us too, but just until three. Julie, his imprint, would be coming over with her friends this afternoon. He was one of the wolves that joined the pack right before the Volturi came for Nessie.

Quil and him had decided to share a house a few years back, their imprints had only two years between them, Julie was almost 13 and Claire would turn 11 soon, the girls always got a long great, so that made it easier when they would visit.

Before picking them up, I went to get supplies at the hardware store, she had already gotten paint, I had seen the cans piled up in her living room yesterday. I had taken care of her car the night before, it was already parked in front of her house, with a full tank of gas.

The story I had told Quil and Mason, was pretty much the same I had told the others, only adding to it that she had just rented the place and hadn't been able to finish the house, before her sisters arrived.

When we arrived at Lily's I told the guys to wait in the car, I wasn't sure how Lily would respond if she opened the door, finding three huge Indians on her doorstep. So I would explain first, hoping she wouldn't be too pissed off I showed up unannounced, before I knocked I listened to make sure they were up.

"What are you doing here Seth?" Lily asked coolly when she opened the door.

"Good morning Lily," I refused to let her get me down "I came over, to put some of that paint you have lying around, on your walls," I said smiling.

"That's very nice, but it's not necessary, I can do that myself" she tried to close the door, but my foot was blocking it.

"I know you can, but you're gonna be busy with the girls and we're already here. Just let us do it, we'll be done in no time," hoping that she would just give in.

"Who's we?" she looked at my car suspiciously, then she noticed her car parked was back where it belonged. Her eyes grew wide, but she didn't say anything.

"Those are two of my friends, they work with me at the construction company, my cousins husband owns. I'll introduce them," I signaled the guys to come over.

"These are Mason and Quil, guys this is Lily," she shook their hands politely, but I could tell she wasn't convinced.

"Listen, you don't have to be here, you can go to Beth or something. I'll let you know when we're done" I offered, this time it worked.

"Yeah, I do need to go see her, well ok then, I'll leave my number on the fridge," she walked back into the house, but changed her mind at the last minute.

"Did you bring my car back?" she asked, the coolness had suddenly left her voice.

"Yeah, thought you might need it," I mumbled, suddenly I was very aware of myself as she was looking me over.

"Thank you Seth," she said, enunciating each word.

"You're welcome." She had brought up last night, without actually bringing it up. But the message rang through loud and clear, there wouldn't be a repeat of last night.

I stepped through the door when Lily had moved away again, I gestured the guys to follow me. We were setting things up when I heard a sound of little feet behind me, when I turned around, a smiling Maddy was looking up at me.

"Good morning Seth," Maddy said cheerfully.

"Good morning Maddy." I smiled back at her and lowered myself onto my heels so we were at eye level.

"Who are your friends?" she was looking around me to take a peek.

"These are Quil and Mason," I pointed out who was who, she smiled brightly at them. She looked so adorable, that she even made Quil smile, who was in his 'I miss Claire' depression.

Not long after that Lily and Chrissy came out of the bedroom where they were all sleeping for now, by now Chrissy was also fully dressed and ready to go, Lily sent the girls ahead to get in the car. Then asked me if I would step outside with her, because she needed to talk to me.

"Listen, about last night," she was talking in a low voice to prevent anybody from hearing her, but I knew it was a wasted effort.

"What about it," I said reluctantly.

"Nothing much, I just wanted to let you know that it was a onetime thing, it had been a tough day and I wasn't thinking straight." Yeah I figured something like this was coming, conformation didn't feel good though.

"Yeah, sure, I get it," I said with a fake smile.

She got in her car and I watched them drive off, at least the house would be empty. Now we could get to work, because they were helping me, my pack brothers felt that they had the right to torment me all day.

"What happened last night Seth?" Mason chuckled when I came back in.

"Nothing" I sighed, but since the truth sounded less likely to be the truth, they didn't let the subject drop.

I didn't mind their teasing, they were just playing, and we got the painting done in a few hours. There were some other small things that needed to be done, but I didn't need them for that, so around three thirty I dropped them off.

My stomach was growling, so I decided to get something to eat at home, before heading back. When I turned the corner, I was pleasantly surprised to see Lily's car in the driveway. I entered the house through the kitchen, coming to complete stop in the middle of the doorway as I took in the picture before me.

Chrissy was stirring a wooden spoon in a big pot on the stove, while my mom added ingredients. Lily was sitting at the kitchen table, chopping up vegetables, while Maddy was sitting next to her, drawing a picture. Then the door hit me in the head, when it fell closed again.

"Oh!" quickly I took a step forward, rubbing my head where the door had hit me, not that it hurt, but it wasn't pleasant either.

~*~

POV:Lily

~*~

"What are you doing here?!" it was one of those times where I would hear myself speak, without making the decision to do so, I regretted the words instantly. I hadn't been expecting him and his sudden presence had set me off, making me blurt out the question involuntarily.

"Well, I thought I lived her, could be mistaken of course," he flashed his teeth at me with a huge smile.

"That's not what I meant! You said you'd let me know when you were finished." We could have gone home! Sue had demanded that we stayed, arguing that there was no need for us to be surrounded by the stench of fresh paint if we didn't have to.

"Well, you're right, I'm not!" huh? "Not done, I mean."

"So you came here because?" I hoped my rudeness didn't upset Sue too much, but I couldn't just sit here, hanging out with him and his mother. It would be a thing done by a girlfriend, which explained the shocked look on his face when he came in.

"The painting is done, so I dropped off Quil and Mason. There's still a few things that need tending to, but I was hungry so decided to eat something before I went back," he raised his eyebrows as if he were saying 'does that answer satisfy you?'

"Oh, right." Honestly, I hadn't the faintest idea on how to deal with him.

"Which leaves me wondering what _you're_ doing here?" I should have seen that coming, but when I wanted to respond, Sue interfered.

"Seth! You did not just ask _my _guest what she's doing in _my_ house!" she scolded.

"Sorry mom, that was rude of me" he walked over to her and kissed her on the cheek, while sniffing the contents of the pot over her shoulder, making loud yummy noises.

"It's not done yet! Just sit down and I'll get you something," Sue laughed as he grabbed a chair.

"Were you and Beth able to work something out?" he asked.

"Yeah, from Monday to Thursday I can start after I drop the girls off and finish before I have to pick them up. Only she needs me every other Friday to work late, there wasn't anything she could do about it," his eyebrows wrinkled together, as if he was thinking very hard on something.

"That's why Beth sent her over here," Sue joined our conversation as she placed a full plate in the microwave to heat up.

"Yeah, your mother has very kindly offered to watch them the Fridays I have to work late," his face cleared at my statement.

"That's great, she really loves to have a few young ones around and they'll love being around her!" he was seemed genuinely happy with our arrangement. He wasn't the only one, I couldn't have wished for a better baby sitter, the girls were crazy about her already.

"I'm so grateful to you Sue," I don't know if she realized how much this meant to me.

"I'm glad to do it sweetie, I watch my nieces kids all the time, and they're a handful!" both her and Seth had to laugh at that comment.

Seth ate his food, inhaled it to be more accurate, and we left with him, followed him there in our car as he was driving his. I was curious to see how the house looked and he said that the other things were minor, so we could be in the house as he saw to them.

The windows were open to let the paint dry, it wasn't like there was anything to steal, when we came in I was in awe. They had done such a fabulous job, in just a few hours they had done a lot better work than I could have ever done.

The light yellow color on the walls was so light it was almost white, it had been a good choice. The place seemed a lot brighter and fresher, it made the house feel more like home than it had done until now.

"It looks wonderful" I sighed.

"I'll pass it on to the others" Seth chuckled as he walked to the front door and started unscrewing my lock, a new one was lying on the floor next to him.

While he was changing the lock, I took my sisters to the bedroom. We were going to sort out the boxes of clothes. This morning I had seen enough to know they were all designer clothes, which looked like they had never been worn.

When we had made two large piles, we took them to the rooms that would be theirs. Chrissy hung hers in the built in closet by herself, she was getting so big, I could hardly believe that she had grown up so much in the two months I had been gone. Maddy needed help with her pile, she figured that she would carry each piece individually to her room to me, so I could hang them. It was funny how she was determined to do her part, so I let her, but it was a very time consuming process.

Seth worked his way through the bathroom and kitchen, before deciding he was done. He scanned around one more time, making sure he hadn't forgotten anything. Eventually he seemed satisfied and turned to me.

"Here are the keys," he said while placing the shiny new set of keys in my hand. I thought a moment about what to say.

"Seth, I'm truly grateful for everything you have done for me, but you can't keep doing this, you have to stop." My tone was serious, but not harsh.

"I know Lily," he sighed deeply "I just..." he trailed off.

"Listen, I left my number on the fridge, below yours. Call me if you need anything, anything at all," and then he walked out the door.

* * *

**AN:** Let me know what you think!


	5. Waiting

**Disclaimer: ****Twilight is all Stephanie Meyer, I own nothing.**

**AN: **Here's the next one, hope you like it!

Lots of thanks to my beta 'yay4shanghai'!

* * *

Waiting

~*~

POV: Seth

~*~

Seriously, I should have never left it up to her. At the time I was convinced she would cave eventually, but she firmly held ground. Five weeks it had been, five agonizingly long weeks and nothing not so much as a peep from her.

Oh she didn't ignore me anymore, if she happened to see me she would greet politely, but that was it. Somehow it seemed worse now, because now I actually knew what I was missing. My attitude had gone from hopeful, to doubtful and eventually had sunken to a state of self pity.

Recently I had returned to my old habit of doing my mother's grocery shopping, just like I had done before that weekend. This was getting pathetic, still having to think up excuses to be able to even get near her. I had even resorted to sitting outside her house in my wolf form, a few hours every evening.

Each night I could hear her with her sisters as she took them to bed, read them stories and put any worries they might have to rest, before they fell asleep. The best nights were when they would act silly and run around the house screaming with laughter, or sang along loudly with the radio.

A smile crept over my face when I thought of how much she loved her sisters, she would do absolutely anything for them. It hurt even more to be confronted with that. She was capable of loving so strongly, yet there was no room for me in her hart.

Being the pitiful wolf that I am, I would count the days till Friday. Those were the days I lived for, when I came home from work and Chrissy and Maddy would be there. I had really grown fond of those girls, and I enjoyed spending time with them.

But what I mostly looked forward too, was when Lily came to pick them up. Mom had talked her into staying for dinner, since she would not be finished until seven and wouldn't have time to cook. Lily was hesitant to take her up on her offer, but my mother had insisted and I think Lily didn't want to be rude.

So every other Friday we ate together almost like a family, but not really, because even during these meals she would avoid me as much as possible. Not my mom and Charlie though, she was perfectly nice to them. It didn't just feel personal, it actually was.

Much too soon the night would end, and the three girls would leave again, leaving me an empty shell. Still, every once in a while I thought I caught her looking at me, when she thought I wasn't looking. But afterwards it seemed too unlikely to be true, so I assumed it was probably my imagination running in overdrive.

Every Saturday right after they had been here, was when I would hit rock bottom of my depression. The counting would start all over again, 13 days of this impossible waiting. Jumping every time my phone would ring, hoping it was her, though it never was.

Now we had moved on yet another week, today it had been exactly seven weeks ago that I had stupidly left her number on the fridge. My fingers had itched all day to copy the number into my phone, but I knew then that if I did, I wouldn't be able to resist from calling her.

Right now I regretted that decision more than anything, I should have taken her number so I could call her and be able to hear her voice. But at the same time I knew perfectly well, that it would have to be her move, her choice to let me into her life, because if I initiated contact again, I would be pushing her and be doing more damage than good.

So I was left with no other option than to wait, wait for the moment where she realized she needed me. The moment in which she would put aside whatever was keeping her from me and give me a chance.

~*~

POV: Lily

~*~

Never had I realized it would be this hard to keep Seth out of my life, every day the little note would sit there on the fridge. As if it were playing a wicked game with me, daring me to use the number and call him. It would be easy enough, I would just have to break the faucet or something, and ask him to come and fix it.

Then there were the times where I would actually see him, it put an unexplainable strain on my heart. I literally had to force myself each time he was close, to stay where I was and limit myself to one worded greetings.

Don't even get me started on those Friday night dinners I had to sit through. Sue had cornered me into them. Despite being the wonderful kindhearted woman that she was, she was sneaky like that. Saying that if I was done at seven, it would be too late for the girls to eat by the time I was done cooking.

I honestly didn't have the guts to tell her we would just pick up a pizza, because how could I explain I'd rather do that, than enjoy her delicious cooking. The growing affection that the girls had for Seth didn't help matters much, sometimes they would be playing some silly game when I arrived and my heart would crack at the sight of them.

Last week had been one of those days, I came in through the kitchen door and was surprised at the lack of noise. After greeting Sue and Chrissy, who were busy in the kitchen, I cocked my eyebrow at Sue questioningly. She told me Maddy was asleep on the couch. When I entered the living room, my heart did a double flip as I took in the sight in front of me.

Seth laid sprawled across the couch, his snores reached my ears as I watched the steady rise and fall of his chest. My little Maddy was draped over him, her leg dangling slightly off his side, sleeping deeply, Seth's arm wrapped around her to keep her securely in place.

Unable to move, I just stood there watching them. Seth would make a great father someday, as soon as I thought it, pain filled my chest. He would probably be a father some day, having a few cute kids with someone he loved, but it wouldn't be me.

How ridiculous to be jealous of some woman, that didn't even exist, or to feel jealous at all. It doesn't work like that Lily, you can't not want him, but not wanting other women to have him either. Wasn't that how it always went though, selfishness always won at the end of the day?

Most of the time I tried to shove Seth out of my head and enjoy my time with Chrissy and Maddy. It worked quite well, he wouldn't disappear completely, but the ache would simmer down to a faint whining in the back of my mind.

The girls were doing well in school, making friends quickly, they were finally able to enjoy their childhood. Just being with them, seeing them happy and free, made me happy. We had fun together, we were a good team. They were so easy to take care of, never arguing with me, never fighting amongst themselves. Although I figured that would eventually change as they got older.

On the weekends we had started hitting yard and garage sales, so our house was now furnished quite well. It was a bunch of mitch-matched things pieced together, but it was cozy and we liked it. Both of the girls were able to find a bed they liked, even I had found a huge four posted bed in which my mattress actually fit like a glove.

After sanding and repainting the wooden furniture, we set them up in their designated rooms. Maddy's bed was such a bright pink, that it almost hurt to look directly at it, but she was allowed to pick so I wouldn't complain now. Chrissy told me she was way too old for pink and went for a very mature dark purple instead, I fought to keep in a giggle.

My own I had varnished after I had sanded it, bringing backthe dark color of the wood. The couch we had found was very comfortable but faded, so I had draped a grand foulard over it. Other things like mattresses and linen, I felt more comfortable buying in a store. Overall we were quite happy with the end result.

This weekend we would go to the beach, it was the end of June a week before summer break would start. It was the first weekend it was actually warm and sunny, so we were taking full advantage of it.

Naturally we weren't the only ones who had thought that, so there were quite a few people there. But what did surprise me was seeing Quil and Mason there, that in itself wasn't much of a surprise, but the fact that they were with two very young girls, was.

Now, one could argue that maybe they were related, which was of course still an option. But the difference in appearance was so distinct, that I seriously doubted that. After waving hello, I decided it would be better to find a spot further along the beach.

We played in the sand, building what would be, according to Maddy, the most beautiful princess sandcastle ever. She was in the middle of her princess phase and frankly I found it very endearing how she pranced around with a crown on her head all day long.

Chrissy was closer to the water, and though she was a strong swimmer for her age, I still was glad that she had agreed to wear her red bathing suit. That way it was a lot easier to spot her between the other kids and keep an eye on her.

As the sun dropped lower on the horizon, most of the children left with their parents. But since I had brought warmer clothes for the girls and enough food to still our hunger, I gave in to their request to stay a little longer. We watched the sun sinking into the sea, marveling at the beautiful sight.

Then I decided it was getting time to get home, so we headed towards the car. As we walked over the sand, I noticed the only ones left were young couples who were enjoying a romantic walk on the beach watching the sun set. A pang of longing reached my already tender heart, and a lonely feeling took over me.

That night in bed I cried, letting the silent tears run over my face, creating wet spots on the pillow where they gathered. It had been years since I really cried, I couldn't even remember when it had been, but now I was allowing myself to let them fall freely.

This week was the last week before summer, Sue would watch the girls whenever I had to work. I didn't like the idea of leaning on her so heavily, but I didn't see what other option I had. Besides she told me she would be watching a few of the other kids from their 'family,' so she would busy with little ones anyway.

That week I would lie in bed staring up at the ceiling every night, unable to fall asleep. But I kept up a strong front throughout the week, until Thursday that was. I had picked up the girls from school and was walking into the house, scanning through the mail. As I read the letter in my hands, I stopped dead in my tracks.

~*~

POV: Seth

~*~

Yesterday Charlie had come home with some disturbing news concerning Lily's mother. The night than we had driven down there, she had been heavily intoxicated. After her arrest it turned out, that there had been found drugs inside her house. The judge had sentenced her with four weeks of rehab, which she had completed a few weeks ago.

That night she had been more than willing to let the girls go with us, but apparently she had changed her mind. She was now fighting Lily's petition for adoption. Nothing was official yet, but they had called him in advance in case she showed up here. As soon as it was definite, Lily would be notified.

Mom was all over the place freaking out, she called Susan, she was a good friend and a social worker with quite few years of experience under her belt. She had handled Nadira's case last year, when Leah and Tom wanted to adopt her. She had to know what would be the best course to take.

Susan had explained how it would most likely go, Lily had temporary guardianship from the moment her mother had gotten arrested. That meant she couldn't just come and take them away, so that was a good thing. Now that the both of them wanted to be their sole guardian, the case would go before a judge.

Who would look at all sorts of aspects of both women to determine which would be most suitable to care for the children. Character witnesses would help, especially one from the chief of police. Also their mother's criminal history wouldn't work in her favor, but she was their biological mother, which would weigh heavily too.

There was nothing we could do this instant, we had to wait for official confirmation. Praying that we wouldn't, that her mother hadn't pushed through on her attempts. But no such luck, Charlie received the call Wednesday. They had already sent a letter to Lily, to inform her on what was going on.

Now I was pacing around in the front yard, looking at my phone every few seconds. It was eight o 'clock Thursday night, she must have gotten the letter today. So why isn't she calling, I was worried sick about her. When another hour passed without a word from her I gave up, she wasn't going to call.

Suddenly the shrill sound of my phone filled the air, I looked down at the caller ID and sighed deeply.

"Hello?" I spoke into the microphone.

"_Seth?"

* * *

_**AN: **Hope you liked it!


	6. Freakin fantastic!

**Disclaimer: ****Twilight is all Stephanie Meyer, I own nothing.**

**AN: **Lots of thanks to my beta 'yay4shanghai'! If you haven't checked out her stories yet, you should, they're awesome!

* * *

Freakin fantastic!

~*~

POV: Seth

~*~

Suddenly the shrill sound of my phone filled the air, I looked down at the caller ID and sighed deeply.

"Hello?" I spoke into the microphone.

"_Seth?"_

"Mom? Why are you calling me? I'm in the front yard for crying out loud!" This was the very definition of cell phone absurdity, like those teenage girls walking behind each other, while on the phone yelling 'I can see you!', that had always annoyed the hell out of me. Now I was basically doing the same thing, and worst yet it was with none other than my _mother_.

"_Now Seth, don't you get snappy with me! How am I supposed to know where you are, you left the house over an hour ago,"_ she sounded like a school teacher, reprimanding one of her students, she had perfected that into an art.

"Yeah, ok mom, but you know I'm waiting for Lily to call me. What if she's trying right now and she can't reach me because I'm on the phone with you, while I'm right here!" She got why I was so irritated by this, right?! She had to.

"_That's actually why I need to talk to you. I just got off the phone with her a minute ago."_ Again, mom's ok, but apparently I'm poisonous or something, cause she sure as hell wasn't talking to me.

"You called her right?" I tried to sound casual, but my mother knew me better than I'd like to admit.

"_I'm sorry Seth, but you can't let it cloud you judgment. She needs you, even if she isn't aware of it yet. She'll come around, I'm sure."_ She was my mom so of course she tried to ease the pain it caused me, but it didn't work. Even now that she was in need of help, she wouldn't reach out for me and that got to me, far worse than it should.

"Yeah, I'd like to see that happening," I muttered under my breath, she didn't hear me and went on undisturbed.

"_I told her you'd be there soon."_ She acted like I was over there all the time. Well, I was, but she didn't know that I was spying on her like some sort of psycho night after night.

"Are you sure she even wants me there?" It'd be extremely humiliating to say the least, if I went there only to be sent away again.

"_Someone needs to be there Seth, her mother could be doing better, but she might not, we just don't know. She didn't object when I suggested you'd stay there, to keep an eye out,"_ she sounded hopeful. I wasn't, so I was off play the glorified babysitter, that was just fucking awesome.

In truth, I wouldn't have minded it one single bit, if she had just asked me. But this wasn't her idea, the only reason she was agreeing to it, was that she, like so many of us, was unable to refuse my dear old mom.

"That's just freakin fantastic!" I'd go, I wasn't particularly looking forward to getting chewed out for not looking after my imprint.

I sauntered into the house to get my things, I would have to talk to Jake about getting a break from patrolling. Ever since Sam retired last year, Jake had been Alpha, fusing both packs into one, making the patrolling schedule a light one. So some time off, shouldn't be a problem.

Along with Sam, Paul, Jared, even Leah and her husband Tom had retired, they had families now and wanted to grow old with them. They could have gone on phasing for a couple more years, but with the five additions last year and the year before, the pack counted 17 without them, so there was no actual need for them.

They had it hard sometimes, especially in periods where the pack was needed for more than just cautionary patrolling. There had been some drama last April, they had a difficult time restraining themselves then, but most of the time they were happy with the lives they were living now. All playing house with their imprints, ugh, usually I was happy for them, but right now I couldn't muster it.

Almost all the wolves in the pack had imprinted and most of the time everything went quite smoothly, though I must admit, my imprint wasn't the only one being difficult. Yes, you heard me right, difficult, can't she just swoon over me like Emily did with Sam? Even Leah had been less of a hassle when it came to imprinting.

Embry had a hard time with his imprint at first, they were doing fine now, and it hadn't taken more than five months to get there. Lily had been on LaPush since March, now it was the first week of July, four months and we were still getting nowhere. So I'm sure I will be breaking his record, because there was no way we would work it out within a month!

With lead in my shoes, I headed over to her house. Well, I was going wasn't I, nobody said I'd have to be happy about it! Nobody could tell me not to be irritated, not that anybody would, it had become a growing part of the new me: post-imprint Seth. For as long as I could remember I took things lightly, even big issues weren't enough to get me mad, upset maybe, but anger just wasn't part of my M.O. Lily had done a fine job in changing that, cause now I was pissed off, all the time!

~*~

POV: Lily

~*~

Now she wants them?! A few months ago she had more than happy to let them go, to run around with those pigs she called boyfriends. Now she was supposedly doing better, sober? Like hell she was, after years of living by the bottle, she had suddenly seen the light?! No way I was falling for that, it made no sense at all. One question kept nagging in the back of my head 'if she doesn't want them, why is she fighting for guardianship?' A loud knock pulled me out of my mental rambling, just as I saw Chrissy running towards the door.

"Chrissy don't!" I yelled, grabbing her arm roughly , yanking her away from the door.

She looked at me with a mixture of hurt and confusion , in my attempt to keep her safe, it seemed I had done the exact opposite by being the one to hurt her.

"Open up! It's Seth!" His voice boomed loudly through the door. Relief washed over me, as I released Chrissy's arm, she flew at the door again, Maddy hot on her trail.

"Seth!" the girls screamed as they threw themselves at him, at least they were happy he was here.

"How are my girls doing today?" I could tell he was genuinely enthusiastic by the way he asked it.

The sound of his voice alone made me giddy. God! Was it annoying how much his presence affected me! Still being beyond my reach of vision, yet he already had me drooling in anticipation of his image. He stepped into the living room smiling widely, under each arm he was holding one of them, before he threw them playfully on the couch.

His smile faded as he turned to me, morphing his happy expression seamlessly into a cold one . If looks could kill, I'd be six feet under by now! He'd obviously been forced here, by no other than his momma I imagine. As I identified his participation to this whole ordeal as involuntary, mortification ripped through me violently, leaving me gasping for air.

You see Lily, this is exactly why you should steer clear of him, I chastised myself. No one should be allowed to hold such great power over another's feelings like that. If the attraction to him was merely physical I would be able to deal with him, but it was more than that, that's what scared me so much. Though I barely knew the guy, two wrong words from him could send me into a downward spiral of misery and self loathing.

"Hello Seth," I said coolly, ignoring his obvious discontent. "How chivalrous of you to be our defender in the hour of need," I continued, painting my words with sarcasm.

"Yeah, I was just jumping for joy to be your bodyguard," Seth countered harshly. I was the one to start this childlike form of attacking, but his retaliation came down hard on me, making me infuriated with myself.

"I'm gonna take the girls to bed, here's a blanket." I shoved it in his hands, with a burning need to get out from under his accusing stare, I gestured the girls to come with me.

"Yeah, you do that," he muttered, plopping down on the couch dropping the blanket next to him, while he scanned his surroundings for the remote.

"Good night Seth," Maddy crawled on his lap and placed a sloppy kiss on his cheek. When that wasn't enough she stretched her small arms in attempt to wrap them around his neck, he pulled her up so that she was actually able to reach all the way around him. How unfair was it that she was able to interact with him with such ease, while I strained myself trying to have a normal conversation with him.

"Sweet dreams baby girl" he said softly as he put her back on the floor.

A slightly more reserved Chrissy, hugged him lightly before she headed towards her room. As I followed them into the back of the house, I glanced back at him with frustration. I enjoyed my stolen moment, raking my eyes over his delectable body, he was… yeah, hard not to look at.

After putting Chrissy and Maddy down for the night, I tucked into bed and let the heaviness of today's events sink in. The letter containing information about my mom's decision, flashed before my eyes. A court date had been set, it would be in a couple of weeks already, it gave me little time to prepare myself. What would I do anyway, Sue had mentioned some things, but those were things needed for the case. Not how to prepare me for the possibility that the kids would be taken from me.

How was I supposed to ready myself for something like that, the image of them not being with me, alone in what would then be a very big empty house, was incomprehensible. They would be heartbroken about leaving me, then again, if she actually was doing good, who was I to keep her children from her? Then a horrifying thought settled uneasily in my brain, what if Wayne was still in the picture, and it was in fact him who persuaded my mother to fight for the girls.

There was something so off with him, besides the obvious problem he had with stimulating substances. How his eyes had gone dark at the sight of my young sisters, was wrong on so many levels. Though I had never asked them about him myself, my intentions had been to let them get comfortable and then maybe if my suspicions held, I would see if a therapist or something could talk to them about it. I hoped that if there had actually happened something, they would eventually be able to talk to me about it, but I still kept praying that it was just paranoia.

Then there was Seth, he had been great through that weekend, standing by me every second of it. Now again here he was, camping out on my couch. It was just too much, I couldn't wrap around it, all of it was so confusing. My head kept telling me he was untrustworthy, that his intentions may not be clear to me now, but they would eventually be revealed to me. Meanwhile my heart kept pulling me to him in an unnatural fashion, and my body was betraying me fiercely by siding with it. Luckily I wasn't one of those girls, you know, the ones to act on a romantically induced dream, or out of sexual frustration.

I snorted, like he would be able to relieve me off that kind of tension, thus far no man had ever brought me pleasure, only himself. I didn't expect that to change any time soon, as far as I could judge, sex was seriously overrated. So what use would it be to act on those feelings? Exactly, no use at all. I'd rather drown in misery than to give him what he wanted, or actually he didn't even want that, remember Lily, he wouldn't have to resort to girls like me, with looks like his. Tears found their way out again, dammit Lily, when are you going to stop crying?

~*~

POV: Seth

~*~

At least I would be able to control myself better now that she would no longer be in the room, but as she moved away from me, I felt my heart leave with her. They moved around, I kept listening, since it was all I could do. Angrily I zapped through the channels, nothing but crap as usual. TV was total bullshit, that was my professional opinion, and even if you were able to find something remotely interesting to watch, it'd be interrupted with commercials every few minutes. Why would someone even try to watch, besides attempting to keep their mind out of the gutter.

That's when I heard it, soft barely audible sobs, my all consuming anger trickled out of me as I registered her crying. All reason left me and I went on instinct, my imprint was hurting, I had to do something. I jumped up from the couch and as I reached her bedroom, I pushed it open without knocking. There she laid curled around a pillow, her face stained with tears.

"Lily?" My voice a gentle whisper as I put myself on the bed next to her.

It was a risky move, but I refused to let myself ponder on it, she could respond in either of two directions. The first included a lot of yelling and fury, resulting in me being kicked out. The second, the one I was rooting for, was that she would let herself go and accept me there.

"What are you doing here?!" She whispered sharply.

Uh oh, sadly she seemed to be going for the first and I prepared myself for her outburst. But instead she turned and roughly buried her face in the crook of my neck, where she continued to let her sadness drain out of her. For a moment I was too shocked to respond, I relished in her smell that enveloped me as she laid against me. Eventually I remembered why I was here and put my arms around her, pulling her closer to my chest.

"I heard you crying." My short and inadequate explanation was all I could conjure up at the moment, but it appeared to be enough for her, because she snuggled into me.

"I can't lose them Seth, they are my everything," she managed between her crying shudders.

"You won't, I promise." I would promise her the world if it would take her pain away. I caressed her hair as she gradually relaxed in my arms.

"I might Seth, there would be nothing you could do to stop it," she replied sadly.

"Do you think she has changed?" I had no idea how realistic that idea might be. It was her mother, she would probably have more insight in her mother's behavior.

"I don't know, it seems so unlikely, she has been like this for so long. Then again, her fighting me on this, has also come as a surprise. Even though I hate admitting it, wouldn't it be great for the girls if she is doing better? I love having them with me, but I'm not their mother, if they can have a real mom, they should be with her. But I'm so scared that she'll be able to convince the judge that she is clean, when she actually isn't, that would be the worst situation ever."

She had hit the nail with that one, that was everybody's greatest concern, that is why Sue had convinced Beth to let her sister stay with her. Mary-Ann had called her to ask for a place to stay, but her sister had initially refused, but now she would be there within a few days. This way Beth could keep an eye on her unruly sister, to see how she was doing. We had been talking for hours when I felt her grow tired and slumped against me. Her breathing slowed down and after a while I felt her drift off.

Exhaustion would be claiming me soon, but I fought to stay awake, cherishing this moment, wanting it to last forever, or at least as long as possible. Who knows when such an incredible opportunity would cross my path again. As I gazed down on her dark smooth skin, imagining those hellish green eyes, I realized that no matter what it took, I would do anything to keep her from getting hurt. Though in this specific situation, I might not be able to make any difference, as she had so eloquently put it.

* * *

**AN: **I'd love to hear what you think!


	7. Doubts and worries

**Disclaimer: ****Twilight is all Stephanie Meyer, I own nothing.**

**AN: **Here's the next chapter, much gratitude to 'yay4shanghai' for betaing and making sure you wouldn't get too confused this chapter!

* * *

Doubts and worries

~*~

POV: Lily

~*~

Something was nudging my side, still in the rosy state between awake and asleep, I pushed whatever it was away. I rolled over, nuzzling into the warmth that was there, trying to relax into slumber again. But the hand, I now realized it was, returned seconds later, this time actually moving me, what the fuck?! I want to sleep, leave me alone! But it only grew more persistent, shaking me roughly, forcing me to wake completely.

"Lily!" a voice hissed in my ear.

"What!" I grunted.

"Lily, wake up!" again with the hissing!

I tried to open my eyes, but as soon as the light penetrated my lashes, I squeezed them shut again, why are those fucking curtains open?! I blinked furiously a few more time, before I could make out fuzzy images. When I was finally able to see clearly, the image front of me hit me like a ton of bricks. Maddy and Chrissy stood at the foot of my bed, their wide eyes switching between me and Seth, who was still in my bed. He had been the one to wake me, what was worse, the crook of his arm turned out to be the warmth I had been moving towards.

Oh shit! This looks totally wrong! Seth wasn't a problem as just Seth, but boyfriend Seth, which they now thought him to be, since he was in my bed and all, was another story. My sisters had seen their fair share of 'boyfriends' during the short course of their lives, and it had always been bad news, every single time. Seth was clutching the blankets desperately, trying to keep them above his shoulders. As I looked closer, I could see why, somewhere during the night his shirt had disappeared. And it wouldn't exactly help with convincing the girls, seeing him with less clothes on than was acceptable.

Suddenly panic clamped my throat, nothing had happened last night, had it? A quick peek under the covers told me I was fully dressed, my pj's were damp from sweating profusely, but every piece was where it belonged. Now that I knew it was safe for me to show myself, I jumped out of the bed and lowered down onto my heels in front of Chrissy and Maddy.

"Are you girls hungry, shall we go make some breakfast?" Without waiting for an answer I ushered them out of the room.

They would want to ask me about these unusual sleeping arrangements, but not in front of Seth. On top of that they needed to get ready for their last day of school, so this would be like getting two birds with one stone. As they climbed into their kitchen chairs I dove into the fridge, searching for everything I needed for breakfast.

"Lily, why was Seth sleeping in your bed?" You gotta to hand it to Maddy, if anyone knew how to be blunt and direct, it was her. My mind was working really hard to think of a realistic excuse, without taking too long to make it believable.

"Uhm, well, Seth was scared last night and couldn't sleep, so he asked if he could sleep in my room." Oh god, that was so stupid!

Well, too late to take it back now, so I turned around with a face as serious as I could plaster on, to back up my words. Just then Seth walked into the kitchen, fully dressed this time, he scanned their faces to see how much trouble he was in.

"You can sleep in my bed next time you're scared Seth." Maddy had already forgiven and forgotten everything and was generously offering her bed to Seth, it was a good thing she was only five.

Seth looked at me raising his eyebrows in question, I just shrugged and mouthed a sorry as he plopped down in another kitchen chair. He poured himself some orange juice and glared at me for not thinking of something better, something that wouldn't drag his name through the mud.

"I think he'd rather stay in Lily's bed Maddy." Seth almost chocked, desperately trying to swallow the last sip he had taken, as Chrissy spoke wisely, she was not quite as gullible as her little sister.

"Yes, Lily is very good at making scary things go away, I always go to Lily when I'm scared of something, you too, right Chrissy?" Maddy stated, completely missing Chrissy's insinuation.

Luckily the remark Maddy made about Chrissy coming to me afraid in the middle of the night, which she did on occasion, was enough to put an end to Chrissy's pride. She flushed brightly and let the matter drop, she was fighting so hard to be older than she was, while I was perfectly content with her remaining nine years old forever.

"Everybody gets scared sometimes, even someone like me," Seth almost had to force out the last words, while he held back laughter.

I turned back to the stove quickly hiding the smile that had crept onto my face. This wouldn't be the last time he'd be hearing about it, knowing Maddy she would bring it up to everybody she talked to. This would seriously damage his reputation, which made the smile on my face grow even bigger.

"Do you really?" Chrissy needed to repair the tear that her sister had created in her image.

"Of course I do, there are a lot of things that I don't understand or can't do anything about, and that can be pretty scary." He was serious now, and to me it was crystal clear what he was referring to.

After breakfast I got the girls ready for school and returned. Tonight I had to work late, so wouldn't start until noon, maybe I could do some googling to see if there was anything I could find out about how these legal matters went. I was pretty sure there was no use, since each case is different as is each judge but I had to do something.

I was very surprised to find Seth still in my house when I got back, I assumed he would have gone to work or something, but instead he was on the couch in the living room when I came in. Hanging back, utterly relaxed as if he owned the place, while flipping through channels. As soon as I closed the door, he switched off the TV and got up.

"Don't you have to work?" I asked, giving him a very confused look, while putting away my things.

"Nope, took some time off." I didn't like the idea of having him cutting hours for my benefit.

"Why would you go and do a stupid thing like that?" My sisters weren't here, did he think my mother was coming to drag _me _off.

"Lily, you've gotta stop pretending you're fine, that act may work on your sisters, but it sure as hell don't work on me," he was standing right in front of me, peering into my eyes, daring me to disagree.

"What do you want me to do Seth?" I sighed. "Would it be better if I just broke down and cried all the time? It's not really my style you know."

"But that's just it Lily, you let everything out yesterday, but here you are claiming it's not you. It has nothing to do with not being strong, everybody needs a friend to lean on every once in a while." He grabbed my hand, as though he was afraid I would suddenly take off.

"You have me for that now, all I'm asking is for you not to shut me out," he was rubbing circle patterns on the back of my hand, making it very hard for me to think.

"Just friends right?" I looked up at him, staring into his kind face.

Maybe it wouldn't be so bad, having him as a friend, the girls were already crazy about him, so that wouldn't be a struggling point. He nodded, reassuring me, with that our hostility seemed to have come to an end. The next week passed quite pleasantly, a new routine established itself as the holiday officially started. I ignored the physical attraction I felt towards him and managed to circumvent most awkward situations.

He didn't sleep in my bed again after that night, mainly due to my inability to control myself, but after a few nights on the couch, even that became too much, so I had to send him home. It took some serious persuasion, but finally I got him to make a deal with me. He would go home late at night, and would be returning in the morning on my free days, which he would spend with us, otherwise I would drop the girls off at Sue's.

Only when he asked us to join him at his friend's wedding this Saturday, did things got a little tense between us. According to me that would qualify as a date, and we weren't dating, so I told him no. He didn't agree with me, told me we could go as friends, all of his would also be there. This didn't help his case much at all, a non-date date, where I would meet all of his friends, I didn't think so. We had quite the discussion, but eventually he gave in, as he realized it was no use, we weren't going to the wedding, and that was final.

~*~

POV: Seth

~*~

She didn't get it, all she thought about was how it would look. I didn't give a rats ass about how it would look. Everybody was going to the wedding, and I mean everybody, it's not every day that your alpha get's married. Which meant she would be here, alone and I hated it. But no matter how long I used my expert persuasive skills on her, she wouldn't budge an inch. So I would go, just long enough to see them leave, and that would be it.

Jake and Nessie's wedding went smoothly with Alice holding the reigns, it was a rush wedding, Nessie was already two and a half months along, which for her meant she was halfway through her pregnancy. Initially they had planned to get married in September, after her 18th or officially her 7th birthday. It sounded a bit ridiculous to me, but its what Edward and Bella wanted, Nessie always wanting to keep her parents happy, gave in without a fuss.

Then it turned out she was already pregnant, Carlisle had kept track of the baby's growth, determining the due date, which we now knew would be in the middle of September. That made a wedding in September impossible, so they had explored other alternatives. Nessie wanted to wait till after the baby was born, but the idea of his daughter having a baby out of wedlock upset Edward so much, that this time he was pushing for an early wedding instead of a delayed one.

So here they were, the first weekend of July, Nessie with a clearly visible baby bump under her dress, marrying the love of her life, our alpha Jacob. Everything went fine until the end of the reception, the happy couple had just left for their honeymoon, when Nadira and her sister had gone missing. Chaos erupted, with the two wolves that were missing their imprints in the lead.

That was until four of the Cullen's admitted they knew where the girls had gone, they had even helped them go. I took the starting of wedding drama as my queue to leave, sure I felt bad for them, but I understood Embry, as well as his imprint Nadira. The girl and her sister were something else entirely, I don't even have a word for it, the best thing I can come up with is witch, but that doesn't sound right either.

Just as we wolves had to practice in controlling ourselves, so did Nadira and her sister, the only problem was, there was nobody here who knew anything about them. So they had decided to go back to their roots, trying to do a better job of getting to know themselves then they were now. People had already gotten hurt due to their incapability of controlling their gifts, it made me think of Sam who had once hurt Emily.

He had been so lost when he first phased, because there had been nobody there to guide him through it. I imagined it was a bit like what Nadira and her sister were feeling now, so I understood their need to leave and the Cullen's for helping them. But as I looked at it from Embry's point of view, or that of Taylan, the other wolf who had lost an imprint today, it plainly sucked. They had no intention of staying away, but who knew when they were able to return.

As I got in my car and headed back to Lily's, I felt lucky with my imprint for the first time since I'd met her, yeah sure we weren't there yet, but I was pretty sure she wouldn't run off to the other end of the world. We would get there, I didn't know when, I didn't know how, but the faith that we would be together one day, was clearly there. My good mood vanished when I saw an unfamiliar car parked in front of her house, I rushed inside, afraid of what I might find.

"Lily?!" I yelled while pushing open the door.

"Seth it's ok, we're in the kitchen," Lily's voice rang.

"Ah, if it isn't mister bodyguard." Her mother was smiling at me from the kitchen table, for the life of me, I couldn't understand why she was joking at a time like this.

"Beg your pardon," my tone harsh and unyielding.

"Oh no, don't get me wrong, my daughters are very lucky to have someone like you looking out for them, you never know what could happen these days," a cold laugh escaped me.

She had been exactly the reason I had to do this whole guarding thing, and now she was trying to be funny with me!? Lily sent me a pleading look, gesturing towards the back of the house. Yeah, she'd better explain, and fast. I headed towards the bedrooms and it wasn't until then that I saw Beth sitting there, dutiful I said a quick hello, before following Lily, who had already gotten up.

"What's this Lily?" my voice irritated as I spoke to her.

"Please Seth, don't make this harder than it already is, I like it just about as much as you do. But she's here looking sober, and according to Beth she hasn't had a drop of alcohol since she's been with her." Her eyes were watering as she looked at her sisters who seemed happy their mother was here.

"I'm sorry, I can't help it, I don't trust her." I said while pulling her close to me, she sighed into my chest and let me wrap my arms around her.

"I have to give her a chance Seth, the court date has been set for the 24th of July, I want to see how she does until then." Today was the 5th, so that gave her 19 days to prove to us that she had changed. It wasn't long, but at least it was something.

We joined them in the living room, where they had now moved. During the afternoon it became clear that though the girls were happy to see her, they were still hesitant around her. The bond wasn't like it should be between mother and children. Maddy had less problems adjusting to the sudden appearance of her mother than Chrissy, she had been through too much, to be able to let it go like that, I worried about what would happen if Mary-Ann relapsed.

Maddy had soon dropped her guard enough to be talking animatedly about school and everything she had done the last couple of weeks. Not Chrissy though, she was silent and making it very clear that she was unwilling to participate in this charade. Because honestly that's what it was, since nobody was talking about the fact that their mother had stated quite clearly in front of them that she didn't want them. I didn't even know what kind of stuff that had happened before that night, but it couldn't have been peachy. I decided to voice my concerns after they had left and the girls had gone to bed.

~*~

POV: Lily

~*~

Seth and I had been talking for hours, we had both seen how the girls had responded to my mother. Even if she was doing better, it would take a lot of time to mend their relationships. Because where Chrissy's rejection had been obvious, Maddy had also kept her distance in a way. Though they seemed to get along together just fine, if you took a closer look, you could see she hadn't been completely herself. She'd talk, but she would do that with just about anybody, she wouldn't crawl on my mother's lap or even touch her at all.

While with me and Seth, she was on top of us, literally, all the time, even with Sue she was more at ease than with our mom. I worried sick about it, I honestly thought it would have been good for them to have her around if she was doing good. But now I was doubting even that, I hadn't been there for months, who knows how much they'd been through during those months. Chrissy had seemed so different now from how she had been then.

It was something that occupied my mind a lot, ever since I had taken them home with me. The child in her seemed to have disappeared, and I had no idea how to bring it back, if it could be done at all. Now that I had seen the way she distanced herself from her mother, her regular closed off behavior was nothing in comparison. She had been almost hostile today, sarcasm finding its way into everything that came out of her mouth, she was angry and as far as I could tell, she had every right to be.

My mother was still staying at Beth's, but she was looking for a place here, it all sounded great, but then why did it feel so wrong? Was it so selfish of me to want to keep my mother away from them? I couldn't help it, my instincts were telling me to pick them up and run far away. Not that running would be the solution, but I was at a loss on what I should do. There wasn't any good solution to a problem like this, I felt like we were screwed either way.

If the judge refused any form of contact, I felt like they would never have a chance with her. Which I thought was unfair, if she was in fact sober and able to care for them. But at the same time I was afraid, there were no guarantees in life, she could fall of the wagon at any point. Her chances of doing so, would only increase with the added pressure of raising two girls. What would the repercussions be then, would they recover from that, I feared Chrissy was already scarred for life, was it necessary for us to add to that? As I said it was an impossible decision, that wasn't even mine.

* * *

**AN: **As always, leave me some reviews, you know how much I love them!


	8. Judgment day

**Disclaimer: ****Twilight is all Stephanie Meyer, I own nothing.**

**AN:**Hi all! Here's the next chappie, it's overdue, extremely so, and I am very sorry about that! Hope you'll enjoy it;)

A very special thanks to 'yay4shanghai'my beta!I'm very happy that she was able to make time for this chapter at all, since she's visiting family, but not only did she do that, she even got it back to me extremely fast ;)

* * *

Judgment day

~*~

July 10th 2014, two weeks before…

POV: Seth

~*~

Today the girls were coming over, checking out my new home, yes… I had finally flown the nest. The day after Nessie and Jake got married, the day that Embry's imprint had left him, I moved into the house he and Jake had shared for years. It had been explained by Alice and Jasper, why she and her sister had left and vaguely where they were going, so we knew we shouldn't expect her back any time in the near future, forcing Embry to slump into a deep depression.

For the last few days I had been unpacking and Monday I went back to work, much sooner than anticipated. But there was no need for me to hover over Lily and her sisters anymore, or should I say no excuse. Though I was reluctant at first, once we reached an agreement I had been having a good time with them. Now I was having a hard time letting them go.

I was shaken out of my reverie by the sound of a car pulling up, Lily's car to be exact, a smile crept on my face. I left my room to meet them at the door downstairs, other than chattering noise coming from the girls outside, the house was completely silent. Embry wasn't home, he had been spending practically all his time up on the cliffs, gazing over the ocean, refusing any company.

"Seth!" Maddy shrieked when I opened the door, and came running at me with high speed.

"There's my girl! Coming to see my new pad?" I had caught her mid air as she leaped at me, and was now placing her on my back.

"No, I came to see your house! Seth, what's a pad?" I shook with laughter, forcing little Maddy to tighten her grip on me, to keep her from sliding down.

"Hi Seth," a soft voice reached my ears.

Chrissy's usual reserve didn't offend me anymore, as far as I could tell she was like that with everybody. In fact, she was quite at ease with me, if you compared it to her behavior towards others. The big hug she gave me attested to that, it warmed me to know I was gradually earning her trust. The last one to enter was Lily, giving me a blinding smile as she did, leaning up slightly to peck my cheek.

"Good morning Seth." We had gotten especially close over the last few days, I had hope our relationship was shifting into a new direction.

"Ooh, that might be hard, now that you're here," I replied to her casual greeting with a joke, I loved making her laugh.

"Oh, ha ha, very funny," but her smile didn't disappear when I winked at her.

"Ladies, are we ready for the grand tour?!" With Maddy still on my back, I lead them around.

"Jeesh, your room is so small, you should have stayed with your mom," Maddy was looking over my shoulder into my room.

"Maddy, that's not nice," Lily commented.

"Well it is," Chrissy shrugged her shoulders casually.

"Ok, this tour has now officially come to an end." I wiped my eyes pretending that their remarks had been so upsetting, they had made me cry.

"NO, I'm sorry! Show us the rest, please" Maddy tried to look me in the eyes, but that was a bit hard from the position she was in, so she settled for patting my head, she was honestly concerned that I might really feel offended.

"Well, I was only joking, but ah, this is all of it. Embry's room is across the hall, you've seen the kitchen and the living room already. You could take a look in my bathroom if you want?"

Not long after we headed for first beach, which had actually been on the itinerary for today, despite the fact that the reservation where they grew up was on the coast, they had hardly had any trips to the sea. While in my case it was impossible to think of childhood separate from it, I had spent practically every day playing in the waves, mom yelling at me not to go too far out, while dad stood next to her grinning widely as he saw me push further.

So I had decided to make the hours of playing in the sand, dipping your toes in the ice cold water, as significant to them as it was for me. The moment we arrived Chrissy rushed out of the car, extremely impatient to get into the water. According to Lily, this was one of the few occasions where she really let go, forgot all the things she had to worry about, and just played and swam until she was ready to drop down exhausted.

Maddy was content creating bridges and tunnels, she'd build them close to the water so that her feet would disappear with each wave that came rolling in, and to let the water fill the canal, where the monsters that were protecting the princess would live. Lily had laid down the towels close by, so close that if she left them there, the sea would swallow them within a few hours, if we didn't relocate in time. I had taken my place next to her, I was still able to hear Maddy's almost continuous babbling, though I was distracted by Lily who was sunbathing in a tiny bikini exposing her gorgeous skin.

After almost an hour Maddy decided she wanted to go into the water too, she was looking enviously at her big sister splashing around, having the time of her life. It wasn't surprising that she would want to experience that too, Lily was a bit reluctant about me taking her in, but I assured her that she'd be ok.

So we went, hand in hand, taking small steps, the little girl squealing every time a wave would put the waterline higher on her skin, until she was too deep to keep walking herself. I wanted to take her into the water a little further, where the sea was quieter, where the waves weren't crashing onto the sand. S

Though she was a bit scared at first, clinging to my neck, after a while she got used to the weightless feeling and dared to move around me, only holding on slightly.

Even though the ride back lasted no more than a few minutes, the girls were so wiped out, that their eyes closed the moment the engine came to life. The initial plan was that I would be cooking for all of them at my place, I could actually cook fairly well, which was to be expected with a mom like mine, but they were way too tired to be able to enjoy it now.

~*~

July 17th 2014 - one week to go

POV: Lily

~*~

We'd had such a good time over the last few days, since it was summer vacation. With all the teenagers looking for a summer job, Beth had more than enough help in the store, and I didn't work as often. My mother was helping out too, that had been a real kicker, having to work with my mother. That's why I had taken a few days, just a day or two in between days I would work as regular.

Part of me was really scared that I would lose my sisters within a few weeks, so I wanted to spend time with them now, as much as I could, just in case. But it was hard to think about my life without them, the day to day things, how much everything would change. It would be more practical, but that didn't mean things would necessarily be better for either them or me.

Something else that worried me, was the fact that Mary-Ann had found a house, probably through Beth's connections, she knew just about everybody that lived in LaPush. Normally it would be considered a good thing if your mother felt the need to be independent, but in her case I was worried that she would be able to hide it if her bad habit returned, now that Beth wouldn't be able to monitor her activities.

She had moved into her own place two days ago, that's when the anxiety started up again. I had been able to settle the idea of my mom fighting me for custody, somehow I had managed to give it a place, to accept the fact that there was nothing I could do to change the situation. But now that she was alone in that house, most of the time when she wasn't working, it had become impossible for me to relax.

Believe me I tried, yesterday Seth had cooked for us at his place, but my mind had wandered in between conversations and during quiet moments the entire night. Truthfully, we did have a good time, despite my absent minded behavior. He had this unique gift to know exactly what the girls, or me for that matter, needed. Always saying just the things to keep our thoughts away from the sensitive subject no one dared to address.

The girls understood to an extent what was going on, I didn't want to tell them, but the chance that they would have to move in with their mother, while they hadn't a clue of what was going on, was a risk I couldn't take. So I had told them that mom wanted them to come live with her, but that I loved having them with me as well, so someone really smart was going to decide with whom they'd be better off living.

So they knew that it was possible that this strangers decision would change their life, though the fact that a person unknown to them would get to choose was incomprehensible to them. If you thought about it like that, it didn't sound right to me either, so I could imagine how children couldn't grasp the notion of a judge, court, and everything that came with it.

But last night they had been too preoccupied to think about it for even a single second, and Seth had kept my worries away almost completely as well. I was utterly grateful to him for giving us those moments, to simply enjoy ourselves with each other, without the realization that it could be one of the last times that we were together like this, hanging over our heads.

"You're so crazy Seth," Chrissy hiccupped in between laughs.

"I'm not lying here, that's the honest truth," he said with wide puppy dog eyes, making us laugh even louder.

He had just finished telling us how Sue had taught him how to cook, according to him she'd quite a bit of trouble with it. Every once a week it would be his turn to make dinner, though he could ask for advice. Of course he burnt things from time to time, but eventually he got better, and she would let him try things on his own.

One time he had made risotto with mushrooms, but they had been the wrong kind, the not eatable kind. Sue had realized soon something was wrong and Seth hadn't liked it either, but Charlie who was a worse cook himself, didn't come to that conclusion until it was too late. He fell off his chair, rolling to the floor clutching his stomach, while his face turned pale green.

His cooking duties ended that day, along with his habit of not following recipes to the very letter. Now he was a decent cook, but refused to experiment out of fear to repeat the happenings of that night. Charlie still had trouble eating meals that were created by Seth's hands, taking a few samples first to make sure the contents of his stomach wouldn't come back up again.

That night in bed I lie awake, unable to catch any sleep. Seth was great for distracting me while I was around him, but the moment I was alone, I fell back into worries. At moments like these, I was fighting the urge to check up on mommy dearest. I was actually capable of going to her house and sneak a peek through the windows, simply to settle me for one night alone.

What I hated about myself, was my inability to hope for the best, mainly I was just thinking what would happen when she started drinking again, since a big part of me simply expected her to do that. Sue and Beth kept telling me to stay positive, to give my mother a chance, but I couldn't do it, so I faked it without telling anybody.

~*~

July 24th 2014 - judgment day.

~*~

"Do I have to?" Her voice barely more than a whisper, Maddy looked up at Lily with fear written all over her face.

Lily, who was fighting down her own panic, taking deep breaths to steady herself, was blinking furiously to keep her eyes from flooding. She kneeled down in front of the chair Maddy was sitting in, gathering the courage to tell her what she was still trying to deny herself. She was on the verge of losing it, but she had to be strong for her little sisters, who were looking at her for answers.

"It will be fun sweetie, you're going to do all sorts of cool stuff," Lily was having a hard time looking at her sister straight and kept pushing away the urge to look down at the floor.

"You shouldn't lie to her," Chrissy who hadn't said anything up until that moment, finally opened her mouth, resulting to both of her sisters to whip their head around to face her.

"It won't be fun, not at all, not for a single moment, and you know it," she continued with utter tranquility.

"Chrissy!" Lily said sharply, breaking Chrissy's calm demeanor.

"I won't go, I don't want to, you can't make me!" she cried loudly.

A moment later the three Grey sisters stood huddled together, the eldest was crouched down, so her little ones were able to reach. The girls were sobbing into each other uncontrollably; holding on to each other for dear life, wishing that it was all a bad dream. But unfortunately for them it wasn't, though it held much resemblance to a nightmare, it was the harsh reality, hitting them in the face.

Today, in the only courthouse in Forks, their tragedy had taken place. Their fate had been decided for them, breaking their hearts in the process and for once Seth's hands were tied. There was absolutely nothing he could do for them now, to prevent their separation. Come Monday the happy Grey family as they had known it for the last few months would end, brutally.

This morning in a closed session, the judge had appointed Mary-Ann, the mother of the three girls in question, sole guardianship. Despite the tremendous effort of her and her friends to make a solid case for herself, Lily had lost the battle, for the simple fact that she wasn't the mother of these girls. In the end that seemed more important than anything else, besides that, Mary-Ann had made quite the case for herself too, far better than her less fortunate daughter could have foreseen.

Until that final moment all of them had clung onto hope, wringing their hands hoping that at the after the day had passed, there would be a happy ending. Even when the judge's opinion was peeking out of concealment, buried deep within his questions, his words, they refused to give up. But in the end they realized, nothing could have been done to change today's outcome.

Full custody, words that weren't understood by a 5 and a 9 year old, were spoken within their presence. They had sat there listing to everything that had been said, and despite the fact that the Judges verdict might has well been in French, they understood instantly what it meant. Kids weren't as unknowing or incapable of understanding as most people think, they see and understood more than we can imagine.

They can't follow the exact words of grownups on a regular basis, and that is precisely why they are exceptionally good at reading body language and intonation, or simply feeling what is going on. So the responses of everyone in the room, told them what they needed to know, especially their mom's satisfied smile. Nobody had to tell them, our defeated looks confirmed their suspicion.

Judgment day had somehow arrived suddenly, and just like that it had passed again, leaving a trail of destruction behind on its path. Everything seemed lost, Lily's view of the future was dark and gloomy. She was afraid of things to come, she felt lost and insignificant. Now she knew, her entire fight had been completely useless, and couldn't figure out why she had even tried to go up against her mother.

~*~

July 31st 2014 - one week later

POV: Seth

~*~

Lily had gone out of control, I wanted to help her so desperately, but I didn't know how. Today, just as the days before, I was the one to take her home after hours of knocking back Tequila. I understood that she was hurt, and so lost without Chrissy and Maddy, but I didn't agree with the way she handled it, or rather avoided dealing with it at all.

I thought it was understandable, that she had an urge to let go, to escape the pain with alcohol and be numb, even if it was only for a few hours. But carrying her home like this, the fourth night in a row since the girls had left, I hated it, and hoped with all my heart that it wouldn't last.

* * *

**AN: **I'm sure you all are feeling very differently about this chapter, I'd love to hear what you think exactly!


	9. Secretes revealed

**Disclaimer: ****Twilight is all Stephanie Meyer, I own nothing.**

**AN: **Here's the next one, I didn't want to keep you waiting quite as long as last time, so here you go.

It's thanks to my awesome 'beta yay4shanghai' that you're able to read it now, since she got it back to me at super speed!

* * *

Secrets Revealed

~*~

POV: Lily

~*~

"Don't be such a whiny ass!" Perhaps I was being a bit too harsh, but who knew Seth, the local goodie two shoes could be so terribly annoying!

"Lily you can't be serious, it's been two weeks already, you need to get back to work, Beth needs you there!"

"You should also go see your sisters, they've been asking for you." Why should I care about my aunt? She's the one who helped my mother get her way, helped her take my sisters away from me, now I was supposed to care about whether or not she needed me, oh hell no! Both my mom and aunt were no longer considered family, from the moment the girls had left my house. I hadn't seen my sisters since the day they'd moved. I couldn't, spending time with them and having to leave them again would rip out my gut, I wouldn't be able to bare it.

"I don't give a shit about what she needs!" I tried to yank my arm free from Seth's grip, but he just pulled me in closer and put his arms around me, for a moment I let myself lean in to him.

"Lily, I know you're sad, but what you're doing now isn't healthy." Ugh, there he goes again, nagging me.

"Do I look sad to you!? You can be so blind sometimes!" I'd better not come across either of them, cause I would surely lose it, and he wanted me to go into the store where they both were, I think not!

"Lily just stay home tonight, I'll stay with you if you want." I look at him with disgust, it's about the only face I can muster. What was he still doing here, I was no good for him. Look at this sweet guy, I'm all fucked up, and he's still trying to fix me.

"Whatever Seth, I don't need you, just let me go." I looked at him to release me, which he did after a moment of me glaring at him.

"Fine, go, get wasted! Just don't expect me to be there when you're so far gone you can't even walk anymore!" Ooh was Sethie getting mad now? I smiled widely, and that did it for him, he turned around and walked out of my house.

Completely denying that it hurt to have him walk after all, I grabbed my bag and slammed the door shut behind me, I could just add him to my drinking list tonight. Just as all the nights before, I headed to the one thing that came close to a bar in all of La Push, Rudy's, it was totally lame, but it served its purpose just the same.

Right as I got on to a barstool in the corner furthest from the entrance, I saw some guy looking my way, he was sitting at a dark table, so I couldn't exactly make out his features, but I saw enough. You know the look a guy gets when he's planning something but is waiting for the right time? I'd better get a few shots in if I needed to deal with him tonight.

Oh yeah, he was definitely going to be trouble later on, though I must admit, he was damn good looking! He kinda reminded me of Seth, but more of a I-am-the-man macho type, which Seth was absolutely not. Not even twenty minutes later he made his move, and he turned out not to be quite as annoying as I thought he'd be, for the first time things weren't loaded with the weight of what happened.

It was refreshing to spend an evening with someone who had no knowledge of the subject, it was easier to ignore, easier to pretend it never happened. That night was the first of many, where Seth didn't receive a call from the bartender with the request to pick me up. As much as it pained me not to be able to lavish myself in the comfort of his caring nature, or to allow myself more words and touches in drunken state than I would normally, I knew it was better for the both of us.

My companion for the night was the one to escort me home, he was capable enough; though he had been drinking with me all night he was still steady on his feet. It wasn't fair to use this guy, but since he had his looks going for him and was an obvious ladies man, he'd surely survive the way I callously took advantage of him. When we arrived at my front door, he leaned down and I knew what was coming next, instead of stepping back refusing him, I let him kiss me.

When he did it was nothing like I'd expected, but it felt good when his soft lips met mine, when he pushed me up against the door, his warm body pressed against me. But I couldn't let him into my house, I felt guilty for Seth somehow, it was utterly ridiculous, but it was there, he got the message quickly and pulled back casually.

"Good night Lily," he smiled and kissed me lightly on the cheek before stepping away.

He had showed me a way out, an escape from the misery I currently resided within, the thing I was most eager to do, was cut my aunt and mother out of my life, so that was exactly what I planned on doing. The night was lonely as always but this time there was light at the end of it, I was so sick of running, from being constantly reminded of my precious little family I'd lost.

Today I would change things, so tired of the life I was leading, I would cut out every part of my life that caused me pain, like ridding an apple of its bad spots, separating the good from the rotten.

In order to keep the house, I had no intention of losing the roof over my head, I needed another job, since there was no way I was going back to Beth's store. Just then I remembered the bartender telling me he still needed to replace one his part-timers, well if that wasn't a job that had my name written all over it I had no idea what would be.

Sure enough, two hours later I was the newest employee at Rudy's, I'd work afternoons, during which they served food. This left me free to quit the job at the store, Beth hadn't actually needed me since the Mary-Ann had come to work for her. So after checking to make sure the girls weren't in there, I marched into the store to tell her just that.

"Lily?" Beth rose from her chair behind the counter, since I'd been avoiding her like the plague as well, she must be surprised to see me now.

"Yeah Beth, it's me. Don't worry I'm not here to work, I'm here to tell you I quit, so I won't be back again!" Now that I've said what I'd come to say, I wanted to get out of there as fast as possible.

"Lily, don't go, I want you to come back, the girls miss you so much, they need you." I froze in my tracks, and whipped around to face here.

"Are you kidding me, they need me! You should've thought of that earlier, before you helped your sister take them from me!" How could she do this to me?!

"Your mom is having a hard time with them on her own, I help her out, but still"

"No! NO! You can't do this to me! You can't take them away from me and then ask for my help!" Flooded with fury I stormed out of the store.

~*~

The new job I'd started three weeks ago, actually worked out great, the number of hours I worked were pretty much the same as I'd worked at the store, but it paid a little better. On top of that, I no longer had to cook, since I could eat there after my shift and could sleep in the next morning whenever I'd had a late night. Which was pretty often, but no longer every night, but every time I did, I'd spent it with my new boyfriend, the one I had met that night Seth had distanced himself from me.

Things were easy between us, casual, no strain, no pressure, most of the time we hung out, some fondling and kissing was usually involved, but nothing major though. Despite the fact that he was exactly what I needed, I just couldn't take that next step with him. I kept telling myself that it had nothing to do with Seth, it had only been three weeks after all, so it wasn't weird at all that we hadn't had sex yet.

It was obvious that he was gradually starting to feel more for me than I felt for him, yet I was content with him. I couldn't let him go, since that would mean being alone again, and that was something I couldn't handle. Especially because I had been hiding that I'd been missing and worrying about my sisters like hell, each and every single day since I last saw them. So I selfishly went on using him.

Well, he'd eventually get bored with me anyway, I was counting on the Casanova not to get attached, cause that would just go against nature.

~*~

POV: Seth

~*~

This was just too much, mom told me to be patient with her, that she was suffering her loss, and I understand that. But am I just supposed to take it when she treats me like shit? To hell with that, I was done waiting for little miss Lily to come to her senses. If she ever did, she could come to me, I wasn't running after her anymore!

After telling her she couldn't count on me to drag her drunk ass home tonight I left, and I wouldn't be backany time soon. She needed to learn a lesson, maybe she would experience it as a wakeup call if she didn't have me to look after her, when she needed me.

Thinking back to the weeks before, I knew that I'd be getting a call from the bartender before my phone actually rang. I had asked the guy who manned the bar and seemed nice enough, to keep an eye out for her and call me if things got out of hand, since I was unable to watch her behave like that. That night and every night since then, he had asked me to pick her up, since she was too drunk to get home herself. Tonight I'd tell him that I wouldn't come… or at least, that had been my plan.

The call that usually came around two a.m. around closing time, never came, I was preparing myself with exactly what to say, when I noticed it was already two thirty. My first reaction was panic, something had happened to her, something had gone terribly wrong. But then I thought that maybe I had gotten through to her after all, that she had gone home before she got that far and hadn't needed my help.

Rushing outside to phase, so that I could check on her, I thought that finally things were changing; she would get back on track. But when I got to her house and looked through the window, she lay sprawled over her bed, where she had collapsed while in the middle of the process of undressing. I could tell because she was half dressed her jeans were gone, and she was wearing only a blouse, which was crooked and partly unbuttoned.

I stared at her in disgust but at the same time amazingly aroused. It was a very confusing state of being, looking at her lying on her back, part of her belly, the skin between the top of her panties and the bottom of her blouse, was exposed, showcasing her cute belly button. I realized that neither of my theories had been correct, she was drunk off her ass, but hadn't needed me to get home, I wondered how she'd managed that.

Right now there was nothing I could do, I'd have to wait, so I headed back home with the knowledge that she was safely in her bed. Then a light bulb switched on inside my head, some other dude had taken her home, that's how she'd managed getting there in one piece. Shit! You stupid fuck! That's what happens when you tell her you're no longer there for her, she'll find another douche to do the job, surely there were enough willing guys to tend to her needs.

The next day I was figuring out a strategy, a battle plan so to speak, to get Lily back into my arms, and out of the claws of some creep she met in a place like Rudy's! Maybe if I took her somewhere else entirely, she wouldn't go there, I'd have to endure her self-destructive behavior though, well I just had to tough it out then. But when I got home the phone was already ringing, it was mom, who had gotten a call from a very worried Beth this afternoon.

Later I found out that she had taken a job at the tavern/bar where she used to have her drinking sessions, pretty ironic if you asked me. She had cut everybody out of her life, she refused to talk to her mother and aunt, and was superficial whenever my mom managed to get hold of her. She hadn't seen her sisters for nearly two months and had no idea about how much they missed her, whenever I saw them, they never showed the sparkle in their eyes that had been there when they'd lived with Lily.

Whenever mom or me questioned Beth about it, she'd keep denying anything was wrong, and just made excuses for her sister. According to her they needed to get used to each other again, something that hadn't been the case with Lily, not even for a single day. Or they were tired because they'd had a very busy day, it was always something else. But none of us had seen or heard something to suspect that she was drinking again, so we concluded that they were sad because they were missing their sister.

As mom and Beth had requested I went by Lily's house to check on her, but she wasn't there, I looked at my watch, seven thirty, she'd probably still be at Rudy's. That she was, but when I stepped through the door, I found nothing was as I suspected, she was eating and laughing at the far corner of the bar, with some guy laughing next to her. She sat facing me, though she didn't see me come in, which meant he was sitting with his back towards me, making it impossible for me to identify him.

Then the worst thing I could imagine happened, he leaned in to kiss her, and she let him. Gone were my intentions to casually check on her, rage ignited within me, and unable to stop myself I marched over to her and started yelling.

"What the hell do you think you're doing with this-" I stopped in the middle of my sentence as I recognized the face of the person she had just been kissing. Nathan fucking Cooper, Paul's little brother, you can just imagine what kind of guy he was!

"Get your filthy paws off my im- Lily!" I didn't wait for an answer, I dragged him out the door.

"Seth, what the hell is your problem dude?!" He yelled at me once I released him.

"What my problem is?! You're slobbering all over my imprint!" Like he didn't know that already.

"Lily's your imprint?! Why the hell aren't you with her then, why do I meet her drinking alone, if she is yours to look after?! She mentioned someone sick of dealing with her, well too bad for you, but I've got it now, she doesn't need you anymore!" That was the last thing he said before walking back in, the dude had simply replaced me.

~*~

I had taken it up with Jake, he was busy being a new father, his little girl only a few weeks old, but he took the time to talk with me nonetheless. But after explaining to him what had happened, his words weren't exactly the ones I'd been hoping to hear. He didn't like the idea of an imprint losing her ability to choose who she wanted to be with.

If she wanted to be with Nathan, as far as he was concerned she could be. No matter how I argued with him, about what a sleazebag Nathan was, his opinion on the matter stayed as it was. Then I realized I was complaining about Nate to the wrong person, he was Jake's beta after all. I would have to take this up with the elders, surely they'd see reason.

Billy and my mom were officially still part of the tribe council, old Quil had left us years ago, but they hardly ever actually filled the position, Sam, Jared and Paul had taken over most of their tasks, though in this case they were included into the discussion. They were not as outspoken on the matter as Jake, though they agreed her free will could not be taken simply because she was imprinted on.

Finally they agreed on a course of action, first she would have to be told everything about the pack and imprinting, she needed to understand what imprinting meant for a wolf and what the risk would be dating one that hadn't imprinted yet. After she was fully informed, the choice on who she wanted to be with was hers, and we were to respect her decision, no matter what the consequences might be.

Now this wasn't completely unfair, but I was worried Lily would pull away completely and trust nobody ever again. It was talked over with Nathan and me, both of us agreed to let Billy tell her the legends and reveal to her that they weren't just that. We organized a bonfire that weekend, to which she was invited, as I saw her approach my heart started pounding against my ribs, the fear of being rejected by her when she found out what I really was, proved unbearable.

When Billy finally lifted the veil and let her in on the fact that the stories were real, I saw it sink in and her eyes grow big as saucers, she understood…

* * *

**AN: **I'm so anxious to hear what you thought about this one, if you'd be so kind to let me know, I'd greatly appreciate it!


	10. The choice is yours

**Disclaimer: ****Twilight is all Stephanie Meyer, I own nothing.**

**AN: **Ah, quite an exciting chapter, it was very difficult to write though ;)

A big thanks to the very talented 'yay4shanghai' for beta'ing!

* * *

The choice is yours

~*~

POV: Lily

~*~

As Billy spoke about the risk of dating a wolf that hadn't imprinted yet, the words slowly sank into me, was he telling me what I thought he was telling me?! I looked at Seth, who was eyeing me anxiously, awaiting my reaction. Dammit, that was exactly what he meant! Looking at the others that were present, I could tell they were perfectly serious. My gaze landed on Nathan, who looked just about as worried as Seth had, could it be true? Needing a moment to think by myself, I got up, walking towards my car.

"Lily!" Sue's voice rang out behind me, I turned, waiting for her to catch up to me.

"I need some time Sue, this is too much too handle." Sue nodded in understanding, and pulled me into a hug.

"I'll be here when you're ready," she said gently before releasing me.

As fast as I could, I got into my car, driving home. My head was spinning, making it unable to sit still, I'd been pacing up and down the porch for god knows how long. I needed to know if it was true, I needed proof. I grabbed my phone, calling the only person I trusted enough to confirm Billy's story to me. Just when I heard the first tone after dialing, I heard a phone go off close by, my head whipped up to determine where the sound came from. Only to see Seth, dressed in nothing but shorts, emerge from the tree line by my house.

"You're here?" I was utterly stunned.

"Of course I am, did you think I'd leave you to be alone when you left obviously upset?" He replied casually.

"Have you been here before, hiding out in the trees I mean?" He nodded slowly in response.

"Why did you stay there, why didn't you just come to me?" Surely I wouldn't have sent him away, I mean I'd been pushing him away, but I would have let him in the house.

"You didn't know then, so I couldn't. Are you telling me you wouldn't have found it weird that I'd been hiding outside, barely dressed and without transportation?" Only then I realized what he was implying, he had shifted into a wolf and ran here.

"Did you… You know?" I asked perplexed, unable to stop staring at him.

"Yeah," when I didn't say anything, he spoke again, "are you ok?"

"No, of course I'm not ok, either half the people on the reservation have lost their minds, or it's actually true, neither of those options sound very appealing to me!" He chuckled lightly.

"Are you laughing at me?!" That confirmed his mind wasn't working properly at least.

"Yeah I am, since you're still fairly calm, I'm assuming you're leaning towards option number one, which I find very amusing." He cocked his head to the side still smiling, imploring me to say something.

"Ok, make me believe you then. Show me." He'd change or he wouldn't, either way, I'd have my answer.

"Are you sure? I don't want to freak you out," his concern was touching but at the same time ridiculous.

"Yeah, I'm sure, so come on with it," he shook his head amused.

"Just remember it's still me in there ok?" He met my eyes, waiting for me to confirm.

"Yeah whatever, you're stalling." He sighed and turned away from me, untying his shorts and letting it drop to his feet, exposing a set of perfectly toned butt cheeks, instantly making me blush.

"If you can't handle me undressing, how are you gonna handle me phasing?" Seth was clearly having way too much fun with this.

"I can handle it just fine, so, are you gonna make me look at your ass much longer or what?" He let out a final laugh before her started shaking violently. Before my eyes I saw him explode, fur appearing all over; a sandy brown, giant wolf turning to me.

"What the fuck!" I screamed loudly, feeling the need to pinch or slap myself, making sure I was awake.

The wolf's muzzle fell open, almost as if it were smiling at me. Then I remembered Seth telling me it was still him in there, if it were him, he'd most definitely be laughing. I still remained in a dream like state, not completely realizing what was happening, until the wolf took a few steps towards me that is. Fear kicked in, and I instinctively stepped backwards away from him. He halted, whining softly, sadness visible in his eyes. I squinted, trying to get a better look at his eyes, when I recognized them as Seth's.

"It's really you, isn't it?" His enormous head slowly moved up and down, before he lowered himself onto the ground, lying still, waiting for me to make the first move.

I gathered my courage, and carefully stepped forward, keeping my eyes on him constantly. Eventually I reached the point where I was close enough to touch him, but reaching out to a wolf that was taller than you when he stood on all fours, wasn't particularly easy. My instincts kept telling me to run, but my mind was starting to win the battle, allowing my hand to actually connect with the soft fur below it.

That instant I understood I was fully awake, this wasn't a dream, Seth had actually transformed into a wolf. The story that sounded like a fairy tale was more like a manual for the legendary wolf pack existing throughout generations, right here in LaPush. My hand moved behind his ears, stroking the fur gently, as I looked at him trying to wrap my mind around it, but I couldn't, I still needed more information to understand it all.

"Seth, can you like, change back now?" The wolf rose slowly and trudged back, to disappear behind the closest trees.

"Lily, can you hand me my shorts?" Seth's voice sounded, I looked at his shorts that were still lying in front of me and picked them up.

"Sure," I walked over to the tree and held out my hand far enough, for him to be able to take the cutoff shorts from me. A moment later, he appeared, just Seth again, and I stared at him.

"Lily?" His voice close as he stepped next to me, bringing me out of my daze swiftly.

"Yeah, let's go inside, you need to explain things to me, so I can understand," I walked out in front of him, to feel him closing in on me, taking my hand as we stepped through the door and into the living room. Sparks ran through me, making me gasp and drop his hand instantly.

"Sorry," he mumbled.

He thought I was upset with him for taking my hand, I wanted to tell him he got it wrong, but words failed me. Instead, I flung myself at him, my arms finding their way around his waist. My face pressed tightly against his bare chest, enveloping myself in his scent, I had missed him so much, and all of it was coming out now. My breath caught as I started shaking, Seth's arms came around me, holding me close, running his hand through my sleek hair.

"Oh Lily, I'm here, it's ok, everything's ok," his voice soothing, as he rocked me slowly, until I calmed down.

"What do you want to know?" Seth asked me after he sat me down on the couch, taking a seat beside me.

I asked him what being a wolf meant for his life, why he they existed in the first place, he explained it all to me very calmly. After which imprinting was discussed, how most the wolves had imprinted already and all of them probably would eventually. Then I started to wonder, why they had told me now, I'd known Seth for months now, never had he ever even so much as hinted towards it. Today they had organized a bonfire and everything, just to be able to tell me about it.

"Seth, why now, why was it so important for me to know now?" Seth hesitated a moment before he answered.

"Because you can't make a choice, without completely understanding the situation." Still, I didn't understand, he didn't make any sense to me at all.

"Choice, what choice?" I asked him confused.

"Who you want to be with?" Was he talking about him and Nathan?

"If I were to choose between you and Nathan, why would I need to know all that, you're both pack members, what's the difference?" Seth tensed up completely next to me.

"Well, as might have guessed, to date a wolf that had yet to meet his imprint would be taking a risk. But to date a wolf, just because he has, doesn't sound right either." Was he deliberately trying to make this harder.

"Could you stop talking in riddles?!" Why couldn't he just come out and say it.

"Nathan hasn't imprinted yet, but I have… on you!" He finally pushed out, scared of how I might react, he looked at the floor.

"You, you imprinted on me? I'm your… soulmate?" I looked at him unbelievingly, could he really be meant for me?

"Yes! Don't you feel it?! I miss you so much when you're not with me, I feel the pain when you're hurt, I can't stand to be away from you!" He slumped forward leaning his face in his hands, hiding it from me.

"That's because of imprinting?" Slightly hurt that he needed something like that to feel that way about me, it could have been anyone.

"Yes. No! Imprinting is like fate giving you a nudge in the right direction, pointing out your soulmate to you. That doesn't necessarily mean a romantic involvement, that depends on how you feel about each other."

~*~

POV: Seth

~*~

I looked at her apprehensively, waiting for her to connect the dots, she didn't quite understood how afraid I was about losing her. To a person like Nathan on top of that, an unimprinted volatile womanizer, who would eventually crush her by meeting his imprint.

"So you wanna be my friend?" She asked hesitantly.

"No Lily, I wanna be a lot more than your friend, I wanna be your best friend, your lover, the father of your children! That's what I want, so it's all in your hands, you can have whatever part of me you wish," maybe saying it out loud would make her understand, I was desperate, I didn't know what else to do. She looked at me shocked, so I figured I'd over done it.

"Listen, I'm not saying I want all of that right that right now, but I would at least like to start dating, if you're at all interested in me that way. But that's kinda hard to do, with you having a boyfriend and all." When I mentioned Nathan she snapped out of her brooding session.

"Oh shit, Nathan!" She said loudly.

"Yes, Nathan. You need to choose Lily, that's what I'm saying," the longer it took, the more anxious I got.

"Seth, I don't feel that way about Nathan," she said softly, I heard a soft whimpering from outside, where Nathan was hidden away in the bushes.

"What do you mean?" Not wanting to jump the gun, I asked her to elaborate.

"Well, he's a great guy, but I don't feel the way I should to start a serious relationship with him. I have fun with him, that's all," I groaned, the idea of the two of them together haunted me already, her saying it didn't help very much.

"Why are you with him then?" It seemed illogical to me, she wasn't doing it to hurt me was she, cause even towards someone like him, that would be unfair.

"I was lonely Seth, he was there, and we do get along very well. But I'm not blind, I know he's dating one girl after the next. I just figured he'd get bored with me after a while, but now it seems I have to tell him I can't be with him." A loud howl reached our ears, Nathan had been whining throughout the conversation, but until now Lily hadn't been able to hear him.

"You just did," I sighed, it was sad that the first girl he was slightly serious about would not return his feelings. But since it was Lily we we're talking about, it was out voiced by the happiness she brought me by telling me she wasn't in love with him.

"That was Nathan? Oh no, I didn't want him to find out like that... Wait, how could he even hear me?" That was the one question I'd hoped on avoiding.

"That's a wolf thing, we have…um have excellent hearing" I looked at her to see how she'd react to that, and just like I'd feared I saw understanding flutter across her face.

"Have you ever heard me?" Her eyes burning a hole in the floor right in front of her.

"Yes, I have… I know how much you miss your sisters, despite what you've been telling everybody." My admittance was hard, but I hoped she'd finally stop lying to me.

"Oh my god Seth, how could you do that?!" She flushed in embarrassment, getting up from the couch and rushing into the kitchen.

"I'm sorry for always staying out there, never coming in to comfort you. But Lily, I won't apologize for checking up on you, I was worried, and needed to be sure you were ok." I walked into the kitchen where she stood leaning with her front against the counter, looking out the window, the shuddering of her shoulder told me she was crying.

"You have no idea how much it killed me to see you like that, never able to do anything for you, while all I wanted was to hold you close and make everything go away." I stepped behind her and wrapped my arms around her pulling her against me, I was expecting resistance, but she just let herself fall back against me.

"I missed them so much Seth, I wish they were here, I can't bear living without them," her voice strained and shaky from the tears that streamed down her face.

"I know, I know, come here," I turned her around and pressed her firmly against me, never wanting to let go. She knew everything now and hadn't rejected me, she hadn't told me she was in love with me, like I was with her, but still.

"Seth? Will you come with me to see them tomorrow?" I pulled away enough to look her in her eyes.

"Of course I will, they'll be so happy to see you, they miss you too you know." I smiled slightly at her.

"Thanks," she said softly.

"Lily, you don't have to thank me, I'm just happy that you'll let me take care of you, that you'll let me be near you, I missed you so much!" I lifted my hand to caress her cheek, my heart beating frantically as leaned her face against my hand.

"I missed you too Seth, a lot. I just… I figured, you'd be better off without me," her eyes glassed over as new tears formed within them.

"Silly girl," I smiled, but it fell when she looked back at me, longing in her eyes.

"Seth…" she whispered barely audible.

Instead of waiting for her to tell me how she felt, if she had feelings for me at all, I acted on what my gut told me. Gazing into her eyes I leaned down, my heart pounding against my ribs, and at the same time I heard hers speed up. Finally my lips touched hers, carefully, lightly, waiting for approval to deepen the connection. She did by releasing a soft moan from the back of her throat, closing her arms around my neck to pull me closer.

Not needing further encouragement, my hands tightened on the small of her back, I ran my tongue over her bottom lip asking permission to enter. She opened her mouth to let me explore hers, and her hands moved into my slightly longer hair, gripping it firmly. Her mouth moved with mine, letting me take the lead, it felt great to have her submit to me like that.

For so long I'd been holding it in, I needed to be careful not to push her to far, not to take her entire hand when she only offered me her finger, but now I wanted to relish in this feeling. My mouth possessively moved over hers, my hands roaming her back and then her bottom. My hands grabbed her thighs and lifted her onto the counter, before attacking her neck, kissing, sucking my way down, I groaned when she pushed herself against me.

A loud knocking on the door is what eventually forced us to stop, at first I wanted to ignore it, but when Nathan started yelling on the other side, I figured it best if we let him in.

"Come in Nathan," Lily opened the door, while I tried to calm myself down, to make the hardness in my pants go away or at least lessen it.

"So, you've made up your mind I guess?" Nathan inquired irritated.

"I'm sorry Nathan, I didn't know you could hear me, but it was the truth." She felt sorry for him, which was understandable, but I didn't like the way he was behaving.

"So, he convinced you to pick him huh?! Well done Clearwater!" I saw where he was going, and was just about to tell him to leave, when Lily was ahead of me.

"Nate, you can't blame Seth for this, he hasn't persuaded me to do anything, I just can't help the way I feel!" She said forcefully.

"Oh really, and how is it exactly that you feel?!" That bastard, he had no right to question her like this.

"I'm feel more for Seth than I do for you, I'm sorry," her words fueled his rage and he stormed back out, but my heart seemed to have been given wings and it soared out of my chest.

"Did you mean what you just said?" I was next to her the moment she closed the door, lifting her chin up so that her eyes would meet mine.

"It is… I thought you knew how much I cared about you?" She looked at me smiling widely.

"I hoped, I wished and I dreamed, but I didn't know, until you just said it!"

* * *

**AN:** It would be so great to hear from you!


	11. Cloud nine is a good place to be!

**Disclaimer: ****Twilight is all Stephanie Meyer, I own nothing.**

**AN: **Ah, quite an exciting chapter, it was very difficult to write though ;)

A big shout out to 'yay4shanghai' for just her being amazing self, and a fabulous beta of course!

* * *

Cloud nine is a good place to be!

~*~

POV: Lily

Friday, October 10th 2014

~*~

Slipping out of bed quietly, I glanced back at Seth to make sure he was still asleep, he hadn't slept at his place in over a week. Seeing him all peaceful and innocent like this, brought me a feeling of contentment, he was mine and I was never letting him go again. I sighed deeply as I shot into my slippers and reached to grab my bathrobe, his arm snaked around my waist and he roughly pulled me back to him.

"Where do you think you're going?" He asked placing small kisses on my neck.

"I need to go to work Seth, you know that," I chuckled.

"Can't you stay in bed a little longer?" He closed his arms around me, making it impossible to go anywhere.

"Seth, let me go, or I'll be late!" He ignored my plea.

"Here's the phone, just call in sick, or tell them you're being held against your will, cause I'm not letting you go anytime soon!" He was actually holding a phone out to me, I tried to turn in his arms to look at him, but it was simply impossible.

"Are you serious?" I asked bewildered.

"After last night? Of course I am!" A smile crept on my face when I thought about last night, he made me do a complete one-eighty.

"See, your thinking a repeat performance would be a good idea as well." He tickled me just below my ribs, making me wriggle and scream loudly, until all the air was drained from my lungs.

"Seth stop! Please!" His hands froze hovering over me as he let me catch my breath, ready to strive again as soon as I had.

"Do you admit it?!" Well of course I did, how could he even ask me that?!

"Yes, yes, I admit it! You were right, I'm sorry for ever doubting you!" His hands relaxed again.

"That's more like it. It was my pleasure to educate you Madame Lily." Oh, and how he had!

"But no matter how appealing that sounds, I really have to go now, how about we make it a date tonight, I'll make my grilled chicken a la lemon!" I offered, thinking about what we could do during the two hours it needed to be in the oven.

"Hmm, tonight it is then, but you're only allowed to leave after you've kissed me, a real kiss mind you!" He demanded as if it were such a punishment to kiss those delicious lips of his, silly Seth.

Obliging him happily, I shifted in his arms, this time he let me, so that I could reach him. Once I was able to I tilted my chin up, meeting his mouth eagerly, to kiss him in a way so that I'd be set for the entire day. Of course it grew to more, something he'd been perfectly aware of, and I was panting within minutes. Ending up having to rush off to work, where I arrived ten minutes late, apologizing and saying I had overslept. Seth stayed lying in bed, snickering amusedly, as he watched me fumble to get ready.

Things were so much better, now that I wasn't fighting my feelings for him anymore, now that I knew he'd be there for me when I needed him. Smiling I thought back to last Saturday, the day my life changed, the day I had found out Seth was a wolf and that he had feelings for me.

~*~

Saturday, October 4th 2014

~*~

"Oh god, I've waited for this for so long!" Seth sighed deeply.

"What? Drinking tea?" I chuckled at his expression.

"Yeah, that's what I was talking about of course, drinking tea!" He shook his head smiling, he pulled me closer to him as I went to sit down on the couch beside him.

"I never imagined something as simple as this, could feel this good," when he didn't respond I looked up at Seth, who was fighting really hard to keep from laughing.

"What?!" I asked bemused.

"I'm sorry, but that one's just too inviting to ignore. I was gonna tell you, I'd make you feel even better, if you'd let me!" He laughed loudly and I felt a blush settling on my cheeks.

"Oh haha, really funny, I was being serious you know!" Unable to hide the smile on my face I'd have to settle for fake annoyance.

"You think I wasn't?!" His bright white teeth all showing so wide was his smile.

"Sure Seth!" Men are always so full of themselves, I've learned not to believe their big talks so easy, because in reality nothing ever was as big as their mouths.

"Don't you dare me Lily, I will haul you off to the bedroom right now!" I eyed him carefully, gauging how serious he was, his face told me not to push any further if I didn't want to experience what he thought would make me feel good, this very instant.

"I'll remember that!" I kissed him on his cheek lightly, before pushing him back to lean into the couch. He had already sat up straight, ready to head for the bedroom in case I had challenged him.

"You'd be smart to, I don't know what happened between you and Nathan, but I promise you, I'll do it better!" He sounded a little insulted, and I understood his need to prove himself to me.

"Well, you already did, so I wouldn't worry about that," I was casual, but the response I got was everything but.

"Are you telling me all you did was kiss? You two were together for a couple of weeks!" A couple of weeks, so according to Seth that was too long to steer clear of the bedroom.

"Yes, I am. Maybe there was a little touching, but nothing major," it was true, but I also knew that if I had let Nathan set the pace, it had been a lot more than that.

"Wow, I figured Nathan wasn't the type to be in a PG-13 relationship," Seth said a little amazed.

"Well, I don't know about that, but I didn't want to take it any further and he was ok with that," taking a last sip of my tea I got up to take my cup to the kitchen.

"Lily?" Seth asked from the living room.

"Hmm," I started washing up the few things that were still in the sink, I heard him come closer.

"Is there a special reason you didn't want to sleep with him?" He asked cautiously.

"Are you asking me, if I'm a virgin Seth?"I laughed at his shocked expression.

"Yeah, kinda, but only because I want to understand why you wouldn't, not that I mind you didn't of course! He's quite known on the reservation, I've hear women talk about him, from what I've heard he lives up to his reputation." Seth said a little uncomfortable.

"Well, I'm not a virgin, so not to worry, you'll get what you want eventually." My tone was light, joking even, but I was a little hurt that he was making such a big deal out of this. He didn't seem like a man that would be so set on getting his pleasures, so that he was still on the subject astonished me a little.

"Lily! That's not what I want! When, or rather if you should ever want to be intimate with me, it would be as much for you as it would for me!" Seth stated disconcerted.

"Right, well maybe it's just me, but I never got what was so great about it. I mean for women anyway, I get why it would be good for guys, but let me tell you it's absolutely not like that for us." Seth looked at me completely baffled, apparently I'd been the first girl to tell him that.

"Are you kidding me, I don't know what sort of losers you've been with, but trust me it can be good for women too! A guy just has to put a little effort into it, which just proves those shitheads weren't worth your time!" He grabbed my shoulders and forced me to face him.

"I'm serious Lily, why do you think so many women are just as enthusiastic about sex as men are?" He said softly.

That's when I started doubting myself and realizing I was in desperate need of a girlfriend, one I could talk to about this sort of stuff, one that would have told me long before today. But that was just it, I was always pushing people away, especially girls. I couldn't stand their conniving nature and all that backstabbing, I'd seen the way they acted towards others and even their friends, not hesitating to drop one if it meant they would be better off.

"Well, I can't say they were your typical dream guys, so you may have a point. But I don't feel entirely comfortable discussing this with you, talking about these things with a girl, would probably be a lot easier." If I ever met one I'd be able to trust enough that is.

~*~

POV: Seth

Thursday, October 9th 2014

~*~

She would be coming home soon, home yes I considered this my home too. Though it had been less than a week that we've been together officially, and we hadn't really discussed it, I had moved in. Every night I stayed here, most of my stuff was here, and I was calling it home, what more proof could you need. If it wouldn't be for Embry I would be residing here permanently, but I felt bad for leaving him alone, so I made sure to check on him at least once a day.

Both his and Taylan's imprints had been gone a little over three months and while Taylan was doing a lot better, Embry was still deep down in the gutter. He was thin due to his lack of appetite, have you ever seen a wolf who refused to eat? It's not a pretty sight. On top of that he was pissed at everything and everybody, thought that no one understood, that we all thought badly of him. While in fact we felt sorry for him, all of us who had imprinted couldn't imagine anything more horrible, than to have your imprint leave you.

What made it so bad for him, was that she had agreed to move in with him, only days before she'd left. He felt betrayed by her, despite the fact that she didn't leave because of him, she would come back to him, but he refused to acknowledge that. On top of that, I found him in bed with another woman a couple of weeks ago, I knew he was mad, but that was crossing a line if you asked me.

Despite feeling bad for my roommate, well officially he still was, things were great between Lily and me. She had asked me a million and one questions about being a wolf, getting familiar with each aspect of my life. Besides that, she had quit her bad habits by not staying at work passed dinner, which I would spend with her whenever she'd eat there any way. But also there hadn't been drinking, she'd been smiling a lot, as far as I could tell she appeared to be happy, apart from being away from Chrissy and Maddy of course. We hadn't gone to see them last Sunday, as we had planned, because Mary-Ann told Lily they'd be gone all day. Instead we would go this Saturday, it was already agreed upon, I was glad that she would finally see her sisters again.

But today was about her, I had cooked dinner and planned on making it a romantic night. Of course I had informed her that I didn't want to eat at Rudy's tonight, and she'd agreed to cook us something. Well I'd be happy to enjoy a home cooked meal made by her capable hands, but not today! Checking the progress of the dish in the oven, I was anxiously awaiting her arrival. I'd cooked her Leah's famous lasagna, it wouldn't taste as sublime as hers of course, but it would be pretty good.

"Hey gorgeous!" She walked in, sniffing the air surprised when she smelled the lasagna.

"What did you do?" She walked over to me and kissed me intensely.

"I cooked for us. You didn't honestly think I'd let you cook did you?" She smiled sheepishly, clearly she'd been under the impression I would've done just that.

"I'm glad you did, because I'm starved, and completely exhausted!" I flashed her my wicked smile, as I placed the steaming lasagna on the table.

"Well, dig in! And we'll deal with your fatigue later," cocking my eyebrow suggestively. She shot me a suspicious look, but didn't say anything.

We'd been sharing her bed for a few nights, but nothing much had happened, and I vowed to myself I'd let her make the first move. She had such a distorted view on sex in general, that she was afraid to let go, whenever we were intimate. As long as we were kissing she'd be fine, but the moment my hands moved under her clothes she'd freeze up. What shit that girl had seen in her life, it was as if the universe just couldn't catch her break.

I was surprised at how bad it was, she hadn't been like that when I first kissed her last week, she'd been responsive enough then. When I talked to her about it she told me that she didn't remember how she reacted to me, so I figured that was exactly the problem, she was able to enjoy it, because she had been too distracted to think. That would be my goal tonight, I'd have to make her stop thinking all together, so she could see my point.

After I was sure she was completely stuffed I moved her into the bedroom, dinner had gone accompanied with a glass of wine or two, my first step in loosening her up a bit. It was nowhere near enough to get her drunk, but it had taken the edge off, which was just right. She gasped when she stepped into our room, just before taking her here, I'd lit a shitload of small candles, spread out throughout the room. Music was playing softly and a bottle of scented massage oil placed on the nightstand.

"What's all this?" She gasped.

"This is me, showing you a good time." For a moment I wondered whether I'd gone too far, maybe I should have waited a while, but when she smiled at me shyly, I knew it was ok.

"Come on, take off your shirt and lay down on your belly," she hesitated for a moment but then she took her shirt by its hem and lifted it over her head, her back towards me, and laid down.

I placed my knees on either side of her butt, careful not to put my weight on her, pouring a little massage oil in my hands warming it before placing my hands on her back, slowly starting to move over her tensed muscles, kneading gently, while she uttered small sounds of appreciation. Unleashing the clasp of her bra, I kept going until she was completely relaxed, and then ran my hand over her spine from top to bottom, making her shiver under me.

Placing the cap on the bottle, I put it away, while stroking her so softly, I was barely touching her skin at all. Goosebumps raised all over her arms, so I knew she was enjoying herself, I leaned over, putting my mouth on the back of her neck. Placing wet hot kisses on her soft skin at the edge of her hair line, trailing down to her shoulder, nudging her gently to indicate I wanted her to roll over onto her back.

She honored my silent request, but moved one of her arms to keep her bra up, covering her small breasts. Her eyes were cloudy, her eyelids moving slowly as she blinked lazily. I gazed into those perfect green eyes, where I saw desire building, and took in her lovely form. She had no idea how beautiful she was, but tonight I'd make her feel exactly how I looked at her. Leaning down to take her bottom lip between mine, sucking on it eagerly, she tasted so damn good. She was furiously tugging on my shirt, trying to remove it but failing miserably, so I did it for her.

Still hovering over her, kissing her slowly but with an intensity that could light a fire, I removed her bra from her grasp, expecting some resistance, but finding none. My hands still covered by a thin layer of oil, moved over her firm breasts, while my mouth suckled her earlobe. She sucked a breath, when my thumb brushed her already risen nipple, circling it teasingly. When my mouth closed over the other one, her back lifted off the mattress, pushing herself against my mouth.

Since tonight was all about her, I kept my pants on, though it was way too tight to house my current state of arousal, I refused to take it off. But hers were free to go, in fact, they needed to go, now. Moving my mouth back to hers, I fidgeted with her jeans, before finally being able to open them, sitting up I pulled them off I flung them somewhere on the floor. She was wearing nothing but her pink cotton panties now, she looked appetizing and it took a lot of restraint to not rip it off of her.

Once more I kissed her mouth before starting my journey south, lingering on her breasts, they were simply to appealing to ignore, but eventually continuing downwards until I reached the edge of her panties. Hooking my fingers under them, I glanced up at her face for any signs of protest. When there came none, I removed her panties, leaving her completely nude under me. I couldn't keep my eyes off her, she was so fucking sexy! I nudged her knees apart and descended between them, running my finger along her slick folds, taking in the intoxicating smell of her arousal.

For a moment I felt her tense a little, but when my tongue followed my finger she moaned loudly, gripping my head firmly keeping it in place. Oh, she was definitely feeling good now! I licked and sucked until her body was writhing under my touch. Her muscles were tensing up, when I entered her with my finger a few times I could feel her clench around it, screaming loudly as the orgasm hit her.

When she had ridden out the final waves of her climax, I laid down next to her and took her in my arms, letting her drift off to sleep. It would take me hours to calm myself, and be able to fall asleep, but it had been worth it, to make her see, she was just as capable of enjoying herself as any man.

* * *

**AN:** There it was, one big fluffy, and a bit lemony, chapter! Hope you liked it :)


	12. Something's off

**Disclaimer: ****Twilight is all Stephanie Meyer, I own nothing.**

**AN: **The first hints of drama slowly seeping in...

Many many thankies to my wonderful beta 'yay4shanghai' for encouraging me ;)

* * *

Something's off

~*~

POV: Lily

~*~

Waking up was weird this morning. Instead of making use of the fact that I didn't have to work today, since it's Saturday, I was restless and eventually just got up. Leaving Seth asleep, we'd been up until pretty late last night, he must be exhausted. A smile crept on my face, he'd really put effort into making me feel good the last two nights, completely disregarding himself. I felt a bit bad about that, but when I told him, he said I had a lot of catching up to do. But because I was having fun, didn't mean he couldn't, I'd have to make sure to tend to his needs as well next time.

For now, there were other things occupying my mind, today I'd see my sisters again. It was something I'd been looking forward to, and was very anxious for. During my time with Nathan it was easier to ignore the need I had for my sisters, he'd been very good at distracting me, mostly by being my friend. That part of him I missed, despite what everyone assumed about him and me, it had been the majority of what we had together. Now that Seth was in my life again, I was constantly reminded of the girls, since he'd been a prominent figure in all of our lives.

Maybe I could work something out with Mary-Ann, I still refused to think of her as my mother after what she did, but how great would it be if they could stay here on weekends or during vacation time. Seth sauntered over to me as he came out of the bedroom, I was standing in Madeline's room, missing the sound of her laughter that used to fill it when she lived here.

"Good morning Beautiful," he wrapped his arms around me and nuzzled my neck, his warm breath tickling my skin.

"You're up. I thought you'd sleep longer, did I wake you?" I turned in his arms, leaning into him, taking in his musky smell.

"You did wake me up, how do you expect me to sleep when you're not there lying next to me?" I chuckled lightly, so Seth, always joking.

"Sorry bout that, I was getting so restless, I probably would have woken you if I'd stayed in bed as well." I smiled up to him, kissing his jaw trailing as I could reach.

"Hmm, that excited about seeing Chrissy and Maddie today?" He cupped my cheek in his large hand, caressing it with his thumb.

"I really am, I can't wait to see them again." I sighed deeply, tilting my head slightly, letting his hand support its weight.

Unbelievable how quick one could get accustomed to new circumstances, especially if they were enjoyable. I thought back on how radically my life had changed when Maddy and Chrissy had come to live with me, suddenly I had the responsibility to care for two little girls, but within weeks, it had felt as if I had never done differently. Now again, being with Seth, it had only been a week, but yet I felt myself relying on him for a lot of things. For example, I needed him to pull me through today, I didn't know what to expect, but I knew I trusted him to guide me through it.

~*~

As we stood in front of their house, nerves flooded me, Seth took my trembling hand in his and squeezed it reassuringly. Gratefully I looked up at him, however I had managed to find such a wonderful man was a mystery, but I damn well knew I was never letting him go again. Taking a small step forward I knocked on the door, inhaling deeply in attempt to calm myself. When the door opened things appeared dreamlike, as if I was in an alternate universe experiencing the day of another me, looking through my eyes as if they were another's.

"Lily!" Maddie screamed at me before launching herself at me with so much force, she actually knocked me down as I crouched to catch her in my stretched out arms.

"Hey Maddy, I missed you so much," I whispered, swallowing down the big lump I felt in my throat, as I lay on the floor, Maddy on top of me, not at all bothered by our current location.

"Me too Lily, soooo much!" Seth helped us up, and I was peering into the hallway looking for Chrissy, but unable to locate her. Maddy took my hand and guided me further into the house, Seth at our heels following us in.

"Hello Lily, glad you could make the time to visit your sisters." Mary-Ann said coolly.

Ugh, she was the most horrific person one could have as a mother, just the look on her face made me want to shoot her right then and there. But the moment I saw Chrissy sitting on a chair to my right, I forgot she was even there, muttering some sort of hello, while heading towards Chrissy. She was mad at me, that much was evident, but I needed to know whether or not it was set in place to shroud her pain, or it was just plain anger. I kneeled in front of her, stroking her soft hair, hoping she'd listen to me.

"What do you want?!" She spat angrily, refusing to look at me.

"Chrissy , I'm so sorry for not coming to see you sooner, but I thought about you every day." She lifted her head, meeting my eyes, tears streaming down her face.

"How could you?! How could you pretend like we didn't exist anymore?!" She screamed, fully unleashing her fury.

"Oh god, I'm so so sorry Chrissy, it hurt so much when you were taken from me, I couldn't bear the thought of being near you and having to leave again. I should have tried harder, I should have been stronger!" Seeing her like this was torture, knowing that I'd been the one to cause it, was worse.

So when she flung her arms around me, nothing could have felt better. Her arms wrapped around me, she sobbed, loud hysterical sobs onto my shoulder, but at least she was letting it all out. While holding her tight to me, the repercussions of my selfishness fully sank in, how could I have ever allowed myself to do this. As if it hadn't been bad enough that they couldn't live with me anymore, I'd cut them out of my life all together, making it infinitely worse for them.

"I think that'll do Christina," I looked into eyes so similar to my own, but these ones were cold, hard, surrounded by the harsh lines, that were clearly visible despite the fact that she's not even 35 yet.

Looking at her closely, made me see something I hadn't before, something was off about her. Sure she was being unnecessarily mean, but that was nothing out of the ordinary. She was mad at me, this was the way she dealt with that sort of thing, she wasn't one to hold it in, no regard for any present company. Drunk or sober, her bitterness had driven her to this type of behavior a long time ago. But that wasn't what bothered me, the way she looked, it was there, but I couldn't put my finger on it.

After some begging, and remarkable persuasive techniques performed by our very own Seth Clearwater, Mary-Ann allowed us to take the girls to the park. We went by the toy store to pick up a ball, a jump rope and a hula-hoop, and played near the slide together for hours. We all grew hungry, and it was obvious the girls were getting tired, Seth took Chrissy on his back as I did Maddie, heading for the park café. While we'd had a lot of fun, nothing had been discussed, I didn't want to question them, but it was very important to find how they were doing.

"So Chrissy, how's school?" I asked her, hopefully it would get her talking.

"It's fun!" Her whole face brightened. "I can't wait for you to meet my new friend Sage!" She exclaimed, a smile lighting up her face.

"Sage? Sage Connweller?" Seth asked amused, a little twinkling in his eyes.

"Yes, how did you know?" Chrissy asked in surprise, obviously wondering how he knew her name.

"Because I know her! She's Kim's little sister, you know, Jared's wife." The tone implying I knew him as well.

Scouring my mind to put a face to the name, then I remembered the bonfire an realized that's where I'd met him, he was another wolf in the pack! This was the best news I'd heard all day, she couldn't have found a better friend!

"Yeah, I've been at their place with Sage, she comes there a lot, they're really nice." She was enthusiastically chattering away about Sage, it was truly marvelous to see her talking so abundantly about her new friend, this friendship was clearly doing her good.

"And Sage, has she been over to play with you as well?" Trying to steer her towards telling me how things were at home.

"No, mom doesn't like it when someone comes over." The glow dissipating quickly from her face, her expression growing sad instantly. See, whether she was drinking or not, things weren't going well.

Taking them back to my sad excuse of a mother was equally as hard as letting them go to her in the first place. Only this time, at least I knew exactly when I'd see them again, since I'd struck a deal with Mary-Ann, allowing them to stay with me every other weekend. She was reluctant at first, but then suddenly she gave in, I imagine the idea of spending a few days without the girls would be appealing to her. Even as we left, the feeling that I had almost shrugged off as paranoia, returned to me, leaving me unsettled as we got into the car.

~*~

POV: Seth

~*~

We were on our way to mom and Charlie, she had wanted to see us after we'd been to Mary-Ann's. She hadn't seen Lily since last week's bonfire revelations, so she'd been very keen to see her again, now that we had reconciled. That aside, she'd been tremendously worried about the girls as well, and wanted to know what we thought on the matter. It wasn't until I'd seen her today, that I truly understood my mother's concern.

Lily had been very quiet, something was definitely brewing inside that brain of hers, her eyes betrayed her otherwise calm face. Though I knew not to press her, she'd come out with it when she was done stewing it over, and sure enough, a minute later she did. As expected, the exact same thing that had been on my mind, has been occupying hers this entire time.

"Seth, I don't know what it is exactly, but there's something going on with Mary-Ann." She was right about that, the same thing occurred to me earlier, she'd lost weight and her heartbeat had been slightly erratic.

"I think so too, but if she'd been drinking I would've smelled it, as far as I could tell there wasn't even any alcohol in her house." My only answer would be drugs, I wouldn't be able to recognize anything besides marijuana, so that just that left about a gazillion other options.

"Yeah, that's what I figured. Besides, she didn't act as if she had. Weird yes, drunk no," she stated knowingly. No matter what it was, we'd get to the bottom of it. The thought of Chrissy and Maddy, living with a drug abuser, was simply unacceptable.

We arrived at my old home, mom soon appeared outside when she heard us pull up, completely ignoring me she headed straight for Lily, pulling her into a hug while she had barely gotten out of the car. I laughed loudly at my mother's over dramatic behavior, though I was glad she was able to do so, for a little over a week ago she couldn't have. After what seemed like minutes, she finally released Lily to go inside. As they passed me, I put each one of my arms over each of the women I held close to my heart, joining them, looking forward to a dinner that was smelling absolutely delicious, .

We had a very good night, until I realized Lily and me had gone from friends, to barely friends, to a serious relationship. Not that it didn't feel right, but we'd kind of skipped over the whole dating thing, which is supposed to be the fun part! And here I thought I had taught her to enjoy herself, how to let go, well I had, but only between the sheets. We'd have to do something fun, something normal, something you're supposed to do for fun as a teenage girl, because all this time, dealing with all the drama, her sisters, her mother, we'd all forgotten that she was still a 19 year old girl.

Besides, it wasn't as if I was an old man or anything, some of the wolves imprinted on a girl half their age, sometimes the difference was even bigger than that. But not me, I was only three years older than Lily. And up until meeting her I'd been living like a teenager, perfectly happy with my drama lacking, full of fun, carefree life. Here I was, the expert on how to have fun, with a girlfriend who'd never known that life, and I wasn't showing her any of it?! That's just wrong, I needed to change that, and soon!

"Seth!" At the sound of my name, my head snapped up, to meet three pairs of eyes that were looking at me curiously.

"What?" Lily looked terribly amused, as she stood up from her chair and planted herself on my lap, one of her arms casually draped around my neck.

"What were you thinking about so hard?" She asked slyly, lightly tapping her finger to my temple, before pecking it softly.

"Nothing you'd be interested in," she was in a truly good mood, I wondered what could have brought it on so suddenly.

"Sure about that?" She was still way too cheerful, then it dawned on me.

"Why, what did I say?" It was no longer so laughable now, I wanted to know what was so incredibly funny.

"Oh nothing really, you were just muttering something about having fun between the sheets!" As she spoke, her voice grew louder, evolving into hysterical laughter, by the time she'd finished.

Groaning loudly, I hid my face on Lily's shoulder in shame, I had not just said that in front of Charlie and my mother! I could hear them chuckle behind her, they weren't stupid, they realized that I hadn't remained sexually ignorant all these years, but to have it acknowledged like that was too much. No guy, boy or man, should ever have to be laughed at by his mother, over his sex life!

"Oh, don't worry Seth, it's perfectly fine, there's nothing wrong with having a healthy sex drive." See there she went, this was exactly what I meant, now she'd go all mom on me.

"Please, just kill me now!" I sighed, still unable to resurface from my extremely good hiding place.

"Oh, come on Seth, it's not that bad!" Lily laughed whole heartedly, a sound I was intimately familiar with, and would normally welcome it, but she was fueling mom's need to befuddle me.

"Yes it is, it is the most horrible thing I could have imagined happening tonight," I whispered softly in her ear.

Of course I remained the subject of all joking and teasing all though the night, but it was worth it. Lily and my mom seemed to be getting along very well, which was good, considering mom was going to be Lily's mother-in-law one day. So I let them have their fun, until Lily whispered softly in my ear, that she wasn't the only one that should have fun between the sheets. That maybe we'd had to work on flipping sides tonight, from that moment on, I couldn't concentrate anymore, and did everything I could to speed up the process of leaving.

When we were finally in the car, I raced home, it was a short drive anyway, but we'd definitely made it in record time tonight. She got out of the car slowly, perfectly relaxed, before casually strolling towards the front door. She stopped in the kitchen, getting a glass of water, she stepped into the bathroom, for god knows what. While in the mean time, I was fighting the urge to rip off my clothes as well as hers, but forced myself to stay where I was and tried to relax lying on the bed.

In case you were wondering, why I was so fucking horny and in desperate need of some action, might I remind you that I imprinted on this girl over six months ago, and I hadn't been with anyone in a while before that. At the rate I was going, I was nearing a year of celibacy, when Lily suggested to let her have her way with me. How did you think I was going to react?! I vowed not to push her, and I hadn't, but she had initiated this, acted on her own accord. And I wasn't about to refuse her.

A moment later she entered the bedroom, wearing nothing but a short, pink, nightgown, which appeared to be made of pure silk. The way it flowed around her, shimmering in the pale light of the moon, hugging her subtle curves. As she stood at the edge of the bed, she stretched out, putting her hands high up in the air, yawning loudly.

"Hmm Seth, I'll have to owe you a rain check. I'm so exhausted, I think I'll be gone the moment my head hits the pillow." What?! No, NO, NO!

"Sure, I mean, if you're tired, I guess." I sighed and let my eyes fall closed, she had no fucking clue what she did to me.

Just when I was about to get out of bed, to undress, I felt her on top of me. I opened my eyes to the best sight I could've wished for, Lily was straddling me, her hands resting slightly on my chest, smiling at me wickedly.

"You don't think you're the only one who can tease and trick others, do you?" I shook my head in vain, cause she wasn't really expecting an answer, and then she leaned down, to kiss me, effectively shutting down my brain.


	13. Another imprint

**Disclaimer: Twilight is all Stephanie Meyer, I own nothing Twilight. Though I must say, the amount of characters I do own, is rapidly increasing.**

**AN: **Hope everybody had a good Christmas! Anyways, here's the next chappie ;)

As always, a very big thank you to my wonderful beta yay4shangahi, she's the best!

* * *

Another imprint

~*~

POV: Lily

~*~

As I straddled him his eyes opened, confusion written all over them. Maybe it was a tad mean that I'd tricked him, but it was just too good an opportunity to pass by, he had done this stuff to me about a million times. Not using the same situation of course, but still, Seth loved playing jokes on me. Leaning down to plant a sweet kiss on his lips, I felt his arms wrap around me, locking me in place against him, our mouths moving together in sync. The next moment he flipped us over, letting his hands run over my silk covered body, the smooth friction the material and the warmth of his hands created, had goose bumps rising all over me.

Needing to be able to touch his bare skin, my hands dove under his shirt, willing and able to roam his back freely. Gently nipping my earlobe, sucking in it slightly had me moaning in pleasure, the sound involuntarily escaping my lips. The way he played my body as it were his personal instrument, which he'd been studying for years, was incredible. He had me strung tight as a snare, with the simplest of touches, proving to me even further that my body was made for Seth and vice versa. I was getting impatient, besides, hadn't it been my intention to bring him pleasure, now he was the one working me again.

As much as it pained me to make him stop whatever he was doing, it felt so good and I could practically feel my body scream at me in anger, I grabbed his hands. Pushing him off me, I made him sit straight up, while I moved behind him. Seth shook slightly as my hands found their way under his shirt again, moving up slowly, tracing the lines of his abs, up to his chest. While I kissed his neck, suckling and biting my way to the beginning of his collar bone, I twisted his nipples between my fingers.

"What are you doing to me?" His breathing labored, he let his head fall back so that I had better access.

Chuckling softly, I moved to his front, pushing him back to sit against the head board, so I could straddle him once more. As I opened each button of his shirt one by one, my mouth followed the trail, kissing him from his neck all the way down to the button of his jeans. Running my hands up to his shoulders, I let the shirt slide off his back, leaving me free to enjoy the godlike creature in front of me. He smirked at me ogling him, he knew just how good he looked and was proudly undergoing my gaze. When I removed his jeans and his boxers underneath, I swallowed hard at the sight of him, clearly being wolf sized had affected him all over.

My intention was to bring him to great heights using only my mouth, as he had done for me. But now I just wanted to feel him inside of me. He'd have to receive the extensive treatment another time, I wasn't going to be able to keep myself from jumping him much longer. I lifted the short nightgown over my head, and attacked his mouth, while rubbing myself against him through my panties. Feeling the shift, and my sudden rush, he ripped my panties off and caressed me with his fingers. I lifted myself off him, to place myself over his hardened member, moaning loudly as I slowly lowered myself, taking him fully inside of me.

"Ugh! Lily!" He grunted loudly, as I moved up, so far that he was almost completely out of me, before sliding down again. Gripping my hips firmly, he guided me into a maddening rhythm, and I felt myself climb towards my peek.

"Seth, I'm cuming!" I screamed, surprised by the ability to reach an orgasm like this, while he wasn't even touching me like he had before. Yelling his name, I let myself go completely as the waves of ecstasy hit me, my body convulsing over his, as I held onto him with everything I had.

While waiting for me to come down from my high, he placed sweet kisses on my neck and shoulders. As soon as my breathing regulated, he moved me onto my back, and him between my legs. As he thrust into me, I wrapped my legs around his hips, keeping him as close to me as I could. Pounding into me, he exploded forcefully, and to my amazement I went with him, reaching climax for the second time. How I had ever believed sex wasn't good, was beyond me, then again, none of those guys had been Seth, which made all the difference in the world.

~*~

Now that I had discovered the fun of it, I wanted to do it all the time, so we ended up doing it on every occasion, every place we could find. Sometimes we'd make love slowly and lovingly becoming one, while at others we'd be rough and wild, passion sparkling off our bodies.

The weeks passed quickly, I'd heard two other wolves and their wives, had become parents as well, though I had been fully included into the secret, I still barely knew the other wolves. So when Seth went to visit the new family members, I didn't go with him.

Holiday season was rapidly approaching, for us Grey's that had always meant more than to others, since all three of us were turning a year older in that same period of the year. My birthday being November 15th, Madeline's on January 2nd, and then Christina followed on February 12th, as it turned out Seth was the perfect addition to our family in more ways than one, as his was five days after mine. His idea of celebrating together sounded good to me, until I realized that meant the whole pack and their families would be here inside this small house, panic hit me.

"They will never fit in here all together, they're huge!" Seth chuckled.

"No worries, we'll just have the pack members stand outside all day long," now laughing even louder.

"We can't do that!" Had he lost his mind, I know they wouldn't get cold, but that's beside the point, you can't have your guests be out in the yard!

"Well, maybe Jake would let us use his place, it's way too big for him anyway," he mocked.

"Oh right, and by Jake, do you mean your alpha, who married a vampire and just had a baby with her?!" Real funny Seth.

"Nessie is only half vampire, she's half human too! And Aurora is the cutest baby I've ever seen, I still can't believe you've never come with me to see her!" He'd asked me a couple of times, but I had refused, the whole werewolf thing was something I could barely grasp as it was, adding vampires to it, was just something I couldn't do right now.

"So you say," I mumbled, unable to believe a mixture of the werewolf and vampire species, with a little human thrown in, could ever be cute.

"You'll see them anyway, no matter where we're gonna be celebrating, they'll be there too." That far I'd gotten on my own, but seeing them, or using their place to throw a party, were two separate things.

The tune I used as a ringtone came from my pocket, we had been having this discussion while I worked, the lunch rush had just ended, and it would be a while before the first dinner guests would be arriving. My phone I kept with me at all times, in case of an emergency, but it hardly ever rang during work hours. Seth usually came here after work, today he'd started freakishly early for some special project, so he had arrived here at two this afternoon.

"Hello?"

"Yes, I'm calling for Lily Grey." A familiar voice reached my ear, though I failed to place it.

"This is she." I confirmed, still trying to think from where I recognized the woman's voice.

"Hello Lily, this is miss Bertram, Madeline's teacher. I've got Madeline and Christina here with me, your mother hasn't picked them up yet, and I can't get a hold of her, could you come and get them?" Dread stiffened my body, she was falling into old habits, this had happened on a regular basis back where we used to live. Seth was already heading towards the door, gesturing he'd go and get them, I just barely managing nodding to him, before he was out the door.

"Uhm, yes, thanks you so much for looking after them. My boyfriend is coming to pick them up, he'll be there soon, the girls know him." I said with a neutral tone.

The teacher at their old school had a sense of what was going on, but nobody ever confirmed it, but the teachers here just thought it was a simple mistake. Every parent had lost track of time, or been in unforeseen circumstances, which resulted in being too late to pick up their kid, at least once.

"That's no problem hun, it happens to the best of us," she said cheerfully, completely unaware of how Mary-Ann certainly wasn't the best at all.

The girls had been with us for two weekends, and we spoke on the phone practically every night. So far we didn't have any information, on how my mother was screwing up their life royally this time, but today it had become painfully clear that she was.

~*~

POV: Seth

~*~

As I listened in on the phone conversation I cursed myself for not stopping by their house earlier, after I had been done with work. I usually did check on them, as was Jared these days, he had noticed Christina's home situation left much to wish for. But after they had met Lily and things had become clear, he worried about her a lot, and had joined me in sniffing around outside their house on many occasions. Though we had never found anything unusual, her behavior towards the girls was loathsome, but as to what the cause, we still had no fucking clue.

"Jared! Have you been by Chrissy's today by any chance?" I called him while I headed over to the school.

"No I haven't, why?" He was instantly alert.

"Mary-Ann didn't pick the girls up and no one can reach her, surely we have to be able to find out what she's been using today!" If she was out cold somewhere on her bathroom floor, doped up on something, we'd be able to catch her.

"Listen, why don't you come by as soon as you've dropped off the girls with Lily, so we can catch her red handed," it sounded like a splendid idea to me.

When I arrived at school, both girls rushed to me, they had been through this too many times before and wanted to get out of there as soon as possible. So after thanking Maddie's teacher, who still knew me from when I'd been going to school here, we headed over to Rudy's. Where Lily flat out asked them what was going on at home, and after some pushing and prodding, Christina finally admitted that Mary-Ann was asleep for big portions of the day, when she would be completely ignoring her daughters.

"Shit! Fucking hell! Stupid bitch!" My eyes widened, surprised that she would curse so profoundly in front of them. Then it dawned on me that hearing someone curse, was probably the last thing to be concerned about right now. And I also knew, that while most of the time Lily would avoid words like that, especially in public, but she had a mouth like sailor whenever she was really pissed.

"Listen, Jared and I are gonna go over there, I'll meet you at home later." I told her, my hands itching to give her mother a piece of my mind.

But the condition in which we found her, was not as we had suspected, she wasn't on the bathroom floor, there were no traces of any drugs and the house seemed proper and neat, despite the fact that we arrived unannounced. She lay in bed, asleep but restless, she was freakishly pale, yellowish even, and extremely thin. What the hell was this woman doing to herself?!

"I think we need to take her to the hospital man," Jared stated as he looked down on her.

"Yeah, if you look for her car keys, I'll see if I can wake her up." I replied as I lowered myself.

"Mary-Ann? Can you hear me?" Not too loud, not knowing if she was fast asleep or not.

"Ow! It hurts!" She groaned, clearly in pain as she clutched her belly.

When she opened her eyes, she really freaked me out, they were all bloodshot, as the smallest vessels had burst, making them look really scary. There was something seriously wrong with her, and now I realized she probably hadn't been using drugs after all, which is why we had never found anything.

"We're taking you to the hospital," I told her, as I lifted her off the bed, she let out an agonizing scream when I moved her.

After we had driven her to the hospital in Port Angeles, we left her in the care of the doctors, who told us absolutely nothing considering we weren't related, all they could tell us was that she would have to stay overnight. There was nothing we could do now, but inform Lily, but what should I tell her, besides my gut feeling that she was seriously ill we didn't actually know what was going on. So when I got back home, I told her just that, relaying the doctor's info that she needed to stay overnight.

"We've been here before Seth, she's destroying her body, slowly killing herself, they won't tell me something I haven't heard before." Lily stated angrily, I didn't even try to tell her that I thought she was wrong, because she had no reason to believe me. Why would she, Mary-Ann had done nothing to deserve her trust.

We had left the car keys at the hospital, and sure enough Thursday night we go a phone call from Mary-Ann, informing us that she was home again. According to her she was suffering from some sort of virus, and would soon be feeling better, but asked Lily if the girls could stay with us until she was. Lily rolled her eyes at me, as if she were saying 'I told you so' when her mom asked, Lily quickly agreed, she had already stated earlier that there was no way she'd bring her sisters back to her.

~*~

None of the Grey girls seemed upset about their mother's situation, they no longer had any compassion for the nasty effects of her addiction, convinced that she had relapsed once again. They went on living their lives, happy that at least for now they were able to spend so much time together. Lily went ahead with organizing the party that would be held this Saturday, the 22nd. She had insisted to wait a week, and do after I'd actually turned 23, so here we were Saturday morning, taking care of the last minute preparations for the party. Both our actual birthdays had been simple, only mom and Charlie and Leah's family present, but we had fun. The mood had been good, and Lily and Leah got along great, but it hadn't missed my attention, that Mary-Ann hadn't even called.

The party was good, everyone but the youngest members of the family, who were not yet a month old, and their mothers, were here. The house, including the tent we'd set up in the yard, attached to it, were getting crowded. Suddenly Maddy was at my side, tugging at my hand furiously, I picked her up when I saw the startled look on her face. Wondering what was going on, I followed her gaze to Caleb, standing at the other side of the kitchen, staring at intently at her. Had he just imprinted on Maddy? His dazed expression told me he had.

"Who's that man Seth?" Maddy asked me softly.

"That's Caleb, he's a good friend of mine," I reassured her.

"What's going on?" Lily entered the kitchen at the same time Caleb came towards us, no doubt wanting to meet his imprint.

"I think Maddy has an imprint of her own," I whispered in her ear.

"What?! Who?!" She asked totally freaked out. That's when Caleb joined us, and Maddy stretched out her arms for him to grab her.

"Him?! Not over my dead body! Ugh, that's gross!" She took a heavily resisting Maddy from me, and took off with her, slamming the front door behind her.

"Just give me a moment Caleb, she just doesn't understand," he nodded in understanding, but looked pained.

Outside, I found them sitting on the front porch, Lily asking Maddy if the creepy man had harmed her in any way. While Madeline got really mad, yelling to her sister that it wasn't a creepy man, that he was a friend of mine and really nice, though she hadn't actually spoken to him. I sat down with them and explained the principal of imprinting completely, using metaphors and such to keep Maddy from understanding too much.

She knew the concept of finding your soul mate, but she hadn't quite caught on when I had told her that first day, that an imprinted wolf, would be whatever his imprint needed him to be. Eventually she understood, and we went back in again, Maddy rushing over to Caleb, wanting to officially meet him.

"It's ok Lily, trust me," I squeezed her hand as she looked at her sister, who was now hugging Caleb.

"What's this?!" Taylan, Caleb's younger brother walked in, and perplexed looked at his brother who had Maddy in his arms.

"Now everybody has someone?! That's just great, just leave me here to rot away all by myself!" Angrily he stormed out of the house.

"What was his problem?" Lily asked confused.

So I explained to her, that his imprint was one of the girls who had left at Jake and Nessie's wedding. On top of that, he was now the only one in his family, who had to be without imprint. His twin brother Logan had imprinted around the same time he had, a little over a year ago, his sister had been imprinted on almost eight years ago, as a young girl, and now his older brother had an imprint too. I felt bad for him, but I was sure he would feel better, once his imprint had returned to him.

The rest of the day, Caleb and Maddy remained inseparable, and Lily got to know him a little better. So now she understood, that Caleb was a good guy, he would never allow Maddy to get hurt, and would do anything he could to prevent it. A funny thought entered my mind, I knew Lily's mom was at least half Quileute, but I had no idea about Lily's father. The last years had taught us that sisters of pack members were likely to be imprinted on, and now that another Grey girl had been imprinted on, it made me wonder. If they would have had a brother, would he have been a wolf too?


	14. Wrongfully made assumptions

**Disclaimer: Twilight is all Stephanie Meyer, I own nothing Twilight. Though I must say, the amount of characters I do own, is rapidly increasing.**

**AN:** Jeez, I'm such a doofus, I thought I had already posted this chapter! Sorry for the mix up! At least you won't have to wait so ridiculously long for the next one ;)

Thanks so much to my beta, yay4shanghai, she's wonderfully talented, and I'm so lucky to have her as a beta!

* * *

Wrongfully made assumptions

~*~

POV: Lily

~*~

Glaring angrily at Seth, who sat at the other end of the table, which had been a smart move because I was so pissed at him I was sure I'd hurt him if he came anywhere near me. That numb nuts had actually invited her over for Christmas dinner! We'd always had Christmas dinner, and I was keeping tradition alive. Ironically it was Mary-Ann who had introduced us to it.

Sue, Charlie, Beth and Caleb, were all here. Caleb had been a regular guest at our place since he imprinted on Maddy over a month ago, I had some difficulty accepting it at first, but as I watched the way he interacted with her, I realized she was like a very special little sister to him. She'd always been a happy child, but now she was thriving, I'd never seen her like this, I could tell he was good for her.

Everybody, even the girls, felt the tension in the room, cutting through the air like a knife. All except her that was, she was just lounging in her chair perfectly content, not having a single care in the world. How is it possible that everyone is walking around on eggshells for her benefit, while she's making no attempt whatsoever to make things easier for any of us?

Without discussing it with me, he had just told her she was welcome too! Then he hadn't told me until this morning, knowing I'd uninvited her if I got the chance. Why he was so set on having her here, was beyond me. He'd know how uncomfortable her presence would make my sisters and me, so I couldn't imagine a good reason for him to pull a stunt like this. When she got up and went to the bathroom, I had to say something, the moment she was out of the room, I dragged Seth off his chair, and pulled him into the kitchen.

"What the hell were you thinking inviting her today?! Have you seen how she's behaving, she's probably high right now!" Fuming with anger, I practically shouted at him.

"Lily, calm down, I'm sure she's not high!" Seth was struggling to keep me calm, but I was too enraged to listen.

"Not high?! Who are you trying to convince?! Shall we have a little look?! After all you shouldn't be taking my word for it!" Ignoring all the stares that I felt burning on my back, I sifted through Mary-Ann's bag, my hand resurfacing within a few seconds, clutching one of those plastic brown-yellowish transparent pill bottles.

"See! What did I tell you, she's high as a kite!" It was sad, but I knew I'd find something, recognizing her laid back was one thing that didn't came natural to her, it could only have been induced.

"Lily, let me see those for a moment!" Sue demanded suddenly, a little surprised I handed her the pills.

"Here, don't know what you're looking for, but go ahead." I didn't give a damn about what sort of shit she was taking now, but if she did, I wouldn't stop her.

"These are really strong painkillers!" Sue said concerned.

"Those usually work best, the stronger the better, that's her view on the matter!" Bitterness coating my words, I hated this part, it was always the same fucking thing with her!

"No Lily, I don't think it's like that, these are prescribed to her…" Sue's voice muted out.

"Wh- What?" All the anger left me, as an air filled balloon that got deflated, I slumped down in my chair.

Prescribed to her? As in a doctor had provided them and told her to take them? Why would she need painkillers, for a moment I contemplated the option of her having tricked the doctor, but at the same time I knew a doctor wouldn't prescribe heavy pain medication without a good reason to do so. Seth placed me on his lap, wrapping his arms around me, offering the little relief he could.

Then she walked back in, her relaxed demeanor had made place for an anxious one. Could she really be that ill? Sensing the upcoming drama, Caleb left the room with the girls, preventing them from being part of it, I would be forever grateful to him for doing that. When they were gone, all hell broke loose.

"What's this?!" My voice pitched high involuntarily.

"God Lily! Why can't you ever leave things alone, you had to go snooping through my bag again, I should've expected you'd get all judgmental, you're always like this! I should never have come here at all, I regret it already!" Pain rifled through me, letting my guard down for a single moment, she'd managed to get a shot in.

"What else could I have done, I recognized the signs, how am I supposed to know you actually need them this time? You still haven't answered my question, why do you need them?" The vague term being ill wasn't nearly specific enough for me.

"Never mind, I'm not mad at you, I understand how you would think that. Besides, I'm taking too much of them as it is, but mostly it's because I don't want the pain to return." Then I saw the underlying fear in her behavior, she was lashing out because she was scared.

"How bad is it mom?" I hadn't called her that in a very long time, but I felt the need to do so now.

"It's my liver, cirrhoses, without a transplant, I won't make it much longer. Which is kinda the issue, they can't put me on the list, since you have to be clean for over a year to be eligible." The world spun around me, as I took in her words, she was dying…

"Wait a minute, what about a living donor? Blood related family members have a good chances of being a match." Sue's expert opinion came rolling out of her, she was a nurse, and knew more about this than any of us.

"Yeah, they explained that to me in the hospital, but I couldn't ask Lily or Beth to do that." She sighed defeated.

"You knew?! You knew there was another option, and yet you kept it from us?!" Sometimes I wonder how much of her brain has been affected by her substance abuse.

"Yes I knew, and of course I didn't tell you, this is exactly why. You're the selfless one of us, you're the one who's put Chrissy and Maddy before herself, they need you more than they need me, I see that now. Can you imagine how horrible it would be if there were complications, what if they lost you? No, even if you were a match, I wouldn't accept it." Oh great, now she grows a conscience, couldn't this have happened sooner?! How does she expect me to stand by and watch her die, while knowing I can stop it from happening?!

"Mary, what about me? I could be a match too, the least I can do, is to get tested, to check and see if I am." Beth had been quiet this entire time, of course she was extremely concerned for her sister.

"Beth I'm really sorry for not telling you, truly I am, but if I did, I'd ask you to lie about it to Lily as I've been doing. It's better this way, I've hurt all of you enough already, this way I can't cause anyone pain anymore." Had she given up already, no way I was accepting this, as Beth said, we should at least get tested.

"Are you going to die mom?" Chrissy's shaky voice broke the silence that had formed after that last statement.

"I'm so sorry, Maddy was upset, I was comforting her, I didn't even noticed Chrissy slipping away from us!" Caleb, had come in rushing after her, but he'd been too late, she'd heard enough.

It wasn't his fault of course, but things could not have gone any worse than they had. Both Chrissy and Maddy were now aware of the situation, understanding it for as far as they could. This had to be the most fucked up situation I'd ever encountered, what were we supposed to do now? My heart broke when I saw their scared little faces look up at me, begging me to tell them it would be alright, that they'd misunderstood, that their mother was perfectly fine. But as much as I wanted to do just that, I couldn't.

Though I felt as if it shouldn't, everything went on, the day turned into night, and eventually everyone left. Beth had gone home with her sister, she refused to let her stay on her own, and I had to admit I was relieved someone would be looking after her. Caleb was the only one who stayed, as Maddy refused to let him go, and right now, I was truly grateful for the imprint I'd feared so much before, she'd need him now more than ever.

But Chrissy, poor Chrissy, that was another story, she didn't have an imprint to hold her during the night. She'd put up a brave face, but I could see her strength falter. Just as I'd been worried about her not being able to handle much more before, this had come crashing down on her as well, and I feared she'd reached her breaking point. She'd refused to talk to mom, the question she'd asked had been the last words uttered towards her, she completely ignored her presence after that.

~*~

POV: Seth

~*~

I knew she'd be mad at me for doing it, but I had to do something, I couldn't bear to watch it go on any longer. Their mother was ill, I just knew it in my guts, so when I talked to her a few days ago, I invited her for the Christmas dinner Lily insisted we were having. Since Charlie would want to celebrate as well, we had invited him and Sue, besides Beth, Caleb would be there as well, then again what day wouldn't he be? But until a few hours ago Lily hadn't known she was coming, she was ready to shoot me for it, though I was sure she'd forgive me eventually.

At this moment, I didn't know if I'd done well by inviting her, because the night had truly ended in disaster, never had I anticipated things to blow up as they did. It turned out she was fucking dying! Not only had we found out, Christina and Madeline had as well, at the most untimely moment, Chrissy had entered the room to hear her mother was dying. Well, if neither Beth nor Lily were matches to her, if they were they'd be able to donate part of their liver to Mary-Ann.

That was the thing occupying my mind right now, everybody had been asleep for hours, Caleb had crawled into bed with Maddy, and Lily had taken Chrissy into bed with us. After they'd fallen asleep, which hadn't taken long, after a day like this, total exhaustion was only to be expected, I got out of bed as silently as I could. Unable to sleep, I stepped out onto the front porch, it was December, which in Washington that meant we were right in the middle of a cold winter, but since it didn't affect me I sat down.

When I found out Mary-Ann was sick, terminal even, I felt horrible of course, it was sad, but mainly I felt bad for them losing their mother. But the moment mom had brought up the suggestion of testing for living donors, blood related family members to be exact, breathing became difficult. When Mary-Ann talked about the girls needing her, therefore the risk of losing her being too great, I wanted to scream at all of them, "what the fuck about me?!"

Torn between emotions, desperate for a solutions I sat there, it was so selfish of me to even think it, but it was there echoing loud through my head. I couldn't ask Lily not to do it if she were a match, I couldn't even wish that she wouldn't be a match, yet I did. Cursing Mary-Ann for not suffering from another illness, one where Lily was helpless or able to help in a non-harmful way, was even worse, but that was another thing I found myself doing.

If she turned out to be a candidate for donation, and made the decision to help her mother, there was nothing I could do to about it, but the idea tore at my heart. No matter how slight they were, there was always a chance of complications, which in worst case scenario meant losing her. But there was no way I could live without her, she was my heart, my life, I might as well be on the table with her if she wouldn't make it. This was impossible, I had to stand by and watch it happen, without having a say in any of it.

The days passed in almost complete silence, neither of us had gone into work, Sam had called me to tell me I wouldn't be needed for the coming week at the very least, Lily had received the same reaction from her boss when she called to explain. Now we all sat around the house, barely talking to each other, let alone about the subject that consumed our total thinking process, we were all ignoring the giant elephant in the room.

Maddy seemed least affected by what was happening around her, which was understandable, death was an obscure concept to a five year old. Besides, she had Caleb, who hadn't left her sight since that fateful day, comforting her whenever she needed it. Chrissy on the other hand was turning into an empty shell of herself, I could see her fading before my eyes, without any clue on how to help her.

A couple of days later, both Beth and Lily went to get tested, I insisted on going with them, while Caleb watched the girls. Driving to the hospital, I felt like throwing up the entire time, I hadn't felt this bad since I transformed into a wolf for the first time. Being there could only be described as torture, I was ready to kill the fucking nurse that drew her blood, seeing Lily wince when she stuck the needle in her arm, almost sent me over the edge.

Lily had to grab my hand with her free one to calm me down, as I started shaking, fighting to keep in the snarl that I was about to direct at the incompetent nurse, inwardly I started laughing manically at myself. Hell, if a little thing like taking blood had this affect on me, what would happen if she actually would be undergoing surgery?!

They told us we'd know within 24 hours, sure, something like this would go fast, unlike any other process in a hospital. Normally with blood tests, it took at least a week to get results, couldn't they stretch this out a little longer, not that it would change anything though. She either was or wasn't a match, but somehow I wanted to postpone finding out, since no matter what the results were, it would be bad news for me either way.

In the mean time Beth had moved in with Mary-Ann, she would stay there as long as was needed, as she described it, which was a nice way of saying she'd stay there until she was better, or until she died. But I could tell Lily was pleased with it, I wasn't sure how she felt exactly about her mother being ill, it was obvious she was upset, but not what was behind it. Was it mainly that she felt bad for her sisters, or was she truly sad, whenever I asked her about it she refused to give me a straight answer.

It had to be unimaginably weird for Lily, she had been truly hating her mother for quite a while now, resentful towards her for the amount of pain her mother had inflicted upon her and her sisters. I don't know if her being sick could take all that away, or even be enough to allow Lily to open herself up to her mother again. Would she be able to move on, try to reconcile, try to forgive the way Mary-Ann had had treated her and her sisters for years?

Thinking back to the first time I'd had the pleasure of seeing her mother in action, my insides turned in disgust, as I remembered the way she'd hurt Lily and her sisters, with her cold harsh words. Being sick had apparently made her rethink her life, but it didn't change the fact that her behavior towards her daughters had been utterly atrocious to say the least.

If Lily's view of her mother hadn't been altered much by her sickness, I would understand, but I didn't think she would herself. She'd feel guilty about not caring more, and guilt was a dangerous emotion, it could make you do something you didn't want to, which was precisely what I was afraid of. How would I be able to tell if guilt was her motivation, or that she really wanted to help her mother? I wouldn't if she wasn't talking to me about it.

Then it came, the dreaded call, the ringing sound of the phone sounding unusually loud. The room grew quiet, all head turned towards Lily, as she reached for the phone, her hand trembling. Picking up her voice sounded shaky as well, no wonder, I tried to listen, but I couldn't make anything out over the loud drumming of my heartbeat. My eyes didn't leave her, watching every move she made intently, I watched her nod and make mm-hm sounds, but I couldn't make out what the verdict was.

* * *

**AN:** Pictures of the sisters, their mother and Caleb, can be found on my blog or my photobucket account.


	15. Hospitals, and all they bring

**Disclaimer: Twilight is all Stephanie Meyer, I own nothing Twilight. Though I must say, the amount of characters I do own, is rapidly increasing.**

**AN:** A huge thanks for everyone who reviewed, it means so much to me! Also, a big thank you to my beta yay4shanghai ;)

This chapter is huge, not in length, but in content, you'll see what I mean.

* * *

Hospitals, and all they bring

~*~

POV: Lily

~*~

With a dampened mood, we passed the days following the news of my mother's illness, it lay on me thick and suffocating like a blanket. It was impossible for me, not to dwell on the fact, that in a matter of days, things has changed in life altering manner. This situation had developed so incredibly rapid, which was not that uncommon if we had to believe the experts, it was almost unreal to think, that even she had completely unaware of her medical condition, until a few weeks ago.

Guilt trod into my consciousness, unable to keep it at bay for longer than an hour or two, though by manner of reasoning, my conclusion was that I shouldn't feel guilty about anything. It had not been my behavior that had created her liver to shrivel up as it had, nor had I been able to know she'd been ill when I lashed out at her. But the fact remained, that I had refused to acknowledge her for practically six months, which ate at me like termite devouring gourmet wood.

Beneath my sympathy for her situation and the sadness I felt for the fact that she could be losing her life, and the girls their mother, there was still the anger. So she was sick, which gave her an excuse to behave the way she did at Christmas dinner, but she'd only known about that for weeks. What about all the times prior to that, all the times her actions had been selfish, hurtful, not those of a mother? Other than being left by my father, she had no excuse for it and it still seemed unfair to me, that we were the ones paying for my father's betrayal.

Seth had told me on more than one occasion that it was ok to be angry at my mom, but I didn't agree with him. Sure I understood, but how could I hold on to the resentment, if she was dying? I refused to talk about it, afraid that saying it out loud, would make it more real, worse in some way.

Truthfully, I wished I was a match to my mother, so that I could be the one to save her, it would rid me from all these feelings. But at the same time I was scared, what if like my mother said, something went wrong. Doctors had talked to me about the surgery being safe, that the chance was small, and all I thought was, "tell that to the people that were the unlucky few!"

No matter how you looked at it, there was a risk, though I already knew I'd take it, if it was mine to take. Though it would be hell for Seth, I'd already seen how he responded when I underwent the simplest of procedures. Which could only be the slightest indication, of how he would react when they would be cutting into me. It was weird, but I felt quite sure that I would be a match, not that I had any way of knowing if my feelings were the result of wishful thinking, still I relied on them.

Getting tested with Seth present, turned out to be very trying, not that I had expected any different, but he had insisted on coming with us. You can imagine what happened, when the nurse who drew my blood was a little rough, this wasn't the first time for me, though it was the first time it hurt. Unprepared for the pain I felt, hiding it was impossible, so when Seth saw me react, he almost attacked the poor woman. Turning my focus from my arm to him, I managed to calm him down, but who would be able to do that, if I went under narcosis.

Waiting for the phone call, seemed to take forever, Seth was incredibly sweet trying to calm me down, but nothing worked, I was tense, nothing could be done about it. So when the phone rang, at the designated time, my heart was pounding in my chest, all other sound drowned out of the room, as everyone stared at the phone. Taking a deep breath, I finally picked it up, and brought it to my ear, it felt like everything was happening in slow-motion. When I found my voice, I answered.

"Hello?" I sounded weird, not at all like myself.

"Is this Lily Grey?" A kind male voice asked on the other end.

"Yes, this is she," this was it, this was what I'd been waiting for, oh god, he was going to tell me now.

"I'm afraid the results to your test were negative, you are not a match miss Grey." This was not what I'd been expecting, a part of me was counting on me being a match.

"Oh," he told me a lot of things, why I wasn't a match, but I was barely registering him talk.

When I eventually hung up, they were all staring at me, waiting for me to end the suspense, but every attempt I made, consisted of me opening my mouth, only to close it again. My vocal cords did not relinquish any sound, as I fought to keep my emotions from overtaking me, for if they would, I was afraid I'd never resurface. Silent tears slid over my cheeks, as I clutched the phone to my chest, Seth rushed forward, and held me against him.

"I'm not a match," I whispered, and I felt his muscles relax.

"I'm so sorry babe, but I can't help but be relieved, I was so scared," he admitted immediately.

"I understand Seth, it's ok. It's just that I was so sure I'd be a match, it feels horrible that I won't be able to help her. But somewhere deep down, I feel relieved as well." For the first time I said it out loud, Seth had been trying to get me to do that for days, without result, but now I was publicly sharing my feelings.

He lead me to the couch, where he sat me down, and told me he'd make me some tea. Chrissy was with me in an instant, I could tell she was confused, she didn't understand our talking of being a match, and she was upset because I was crying. Looking at Maddy, I realized I needed to explain, they were lost as to what was happening. Signaling her to come sit with me as well, I thought about how to explain this best, so far all they knew was that their mother was ill, and probably dying.

"You know mom is ill, but I wanna explain to you what's going on," I looked at them, and got a slight nod from each of them in conformation.

"There are a lot of parts in our body, like our heart, our lungs, and our stomach, a liver is also an important part of our body, that's the part that isn't working properly inside mom." I paused to see if they understood, so far they seemed to be following me.

"They can take a piece of someone else's liver, and put it in its place, so it can grow out into a new liver inside mom." Now there was some confusion.

"Just a piece, can grow into a full liver? Wont the person miss the piece once they take it out?" Chrissy was a bit faster than her sister of course, and asked the questions I had expected.

"It can, that's the unusual thing about a liver, and yes the person will miss the piece in the beginning, but it'll grow back as well, so eventually both persons will have a normal sized liver." Chrissy seemed to catch on quickly, and thought of another question.

"Could anyone give a piece of their liver to mom?" I shook my head.

"No, only very few people can, only aunt Beth and me were options, but they have tested my blood, and it turns out I can't help mom that way." I concluded sadly, and they cuddled close to me, understanding my sadness.

Beth was our last resort, would she be a match? She would be anxiously awaiting a phone call too, I needed to let her know that I'd been informed, I called her cell, to keep her regular line free. She hadn't heard anything yet, and we didn't know whether to take that as good news or not, we still had to wait. According to the doctors, the odds of a sibling being a suitable donor, were bigger than those of a child.

Which made sense, I was a genetic mix of my parents, while both her and Beth were a mix of theirs, it would only be logical that they would share more similarities, than mom and I did. It was the same reason, that siblings would mostly look somewhat identical to one another, even if there were no visible likeness with either of their parents. But there were no guarantees, as there never were when it came to the biology of the human body, we would have to be lucky.

After all, none of us three shared any resemblance to our father, all of us looked exactly like our mom, we even looked more like Beth than we did like our father. But as the rule said, we looked very much alike. Pictures taken of us today, could be laid together as a photo album of one girl, and you wouldn't be able to tell it were actually three. Except for Maddy's blue eyes, where Chrissy's and mine were green, as were those of our mother.

The mood was less tense after the talk I had with my sisters, and I realized that a big part of their fear, was created by the unknown. Now that they understood, they were more relaxed, and it was more sadness than anxiety that showed on their faces. Seth felt better because I wouldn't be in any danger, and Caleb relaxed, well because Maddy did. We were still worried of course, but at least speaking didn't feel like a sin anymore.

~*~

POV: Seth

~*~

I could kick myself for being so obvious, relief washed over me like a cool breeze in the middle of a heat wave, the moment I found out she wouldn't have surgery. She could easily tell how glad I was, and for a moment I was afraid she wouldn't understand, but she did, and even admitted she was a bit relieved herself. Now we could only hope Beth would be able to donate.

Christina and Madeline didn't respond immediately to the news, Lily quickly picked up on the fact that they must not have understood completely what was happening. So she explained, in a way that they could understand, and they did, making them feel better the further she got. I listened to her, while watching the tea sit, small clouds of dark brown, coloring the steaming hot, transparent water, in the same way life was returning to our home, filling it with the familiar sounds that belonged here.

When the phone rang for a second time that day, a new form of anticipation settled in our stomachs, it had been hours since Lily had gotten the results, would this be Beth calling with hers. In desperate need of good news, after being so happy I got to keep my Lily, no matter what, I reached for the phone.

"Hello?" Please be a match, please be a match!

"Seth, I've got good news, I'm a match!" She practically screamed at me, and I nodded enthusiastically to the others in the living room.

"That's great!" I said happily.

"It took a bit longer, because there were some concerns, and they need to run more tests, but the transplant will most likely be happening within the next weeks." She sounded so happy, and I was happy for her too, while telling the others the good news.

Her testing confirmed what the doctors feared, Beth wasn't the youngest woman around, and the rough time she went through when she lost her husband at much too young an age, had left its marks. Her liver was in decent condition, but not optimal, though the transplant would give Mary-Ann much better chances of survival.

In a quick family meeting, it was decided the transplant would be the best option. So they put together a transplant team, and scheduled the surgery for Monday, January 12th 2015. A little over a week after Madeline's sixth birthday, on January 2nd, which we had celebrated in the hospital, since Mary-Ann had been admitted, she wasn't doing very well.

Everyone was in such a good mood ever since hearing the good news, even Chrissy seemed to brighten up a bit, especially when she would spent time with Sage, who came around more often these days. She was starting to loosen up, we'd hang around at the hospital, play card and board games, despite the fact that Mary-Ann was hospitalized, things were fairly good. They were getting closer as a family, as I saw a Mary-Ann emerge that I hadn't had the pleasure of meeting before.

She was actually pleasant, and not the fake kind either, where you see the nasty remarks bubbling beneath the surface, dying to be released. No she was genuinely nice, asking the girls about their friends, a little freaked out about her youngest daughter's constant companion, but never said anything remotely negative about it. Most would say she would have reason to speak up, but in her case, I could understand her turning a blind eye.

Besides, Caleb was there in the hospital as well, and he never gave her any reason to be concerned, nothing but patient and gentle with Maddy. She had struck up a recent fascination with the workings of our solar system, that the earth came to a full turn in a day's time, bringing us each day and night. How the moon would rotate around our planet within a month time, and that the both of them circle the sun together. The concept of a lunar and solar eclipse, were still a bit difficult to understand for her, but after Caleb had explained it to her a few times, using fruit as models for the celestial bodies, she eventually got it.

As I watched the Grey family interact, I noticed Mary-Ann have this weird reminiscent look in her eyes, like she was trying to enjoy as much of it as she could. The days passed, and the suspicion I had grew stronger, Mary-Ann wasn't expecting to make it. She was trying to get as much time in with the girls, before it would be too late, and I was afraid her feelings on the matter would influence her ability to heal, to recover again.

Before we knew it, the big day arrived. The doctors had explained to us thoroughly what they would be doing, to a point that even Chrissy and Maddy could point out the major arteries involved on a chart. It was kind of freaky. But according to the social worker that had spoken to us a few times, the more they understood now, the less scared they'd be when it was actually happening.

As we said our goodbyes, the waiting started all over again, only this time we held hope. Not wanting the girls in the hospital we decided to wait at home, since we knew how long they estimated the surgery to last, we would make sure to be back around the time they came out again. They would have to sleep off the anesthesia, before we would be able to see them anyway, so getting there ahead of schedule wouldn't benefit anybody.

But even after we arrived an hour later than planned, in the hope that they would almost be awake by then, it took another four hours before they were done with Mary-Ann, Beth had been out on schedule. Nothing to worry about, they said, sometimes they just needed more time, but that didn't put them at ease much, considering it was their mom in there. As it turned out, our concern had been with good reason, it had not gone as well as they had hoped.

After taking the piece from Beth, which had gone according to plan, it had taken some effort to get it working at all, and it had taken them longer than they'd liked. They were reluctant about admitting it, but Lily could be very persistent, and she got it out of them eventually. It would be unsure how she would progress, she would be monitored closely, and get the medication to keep her from rejecting the transplant as best they could. Eventually she woke up, and her coloring was already better than it had been before the surgery, the yellow was slowly decreasing, which was a good sign.

That week would have been the first few weeks of school after Christmas break, but both girls were granted leave of absence, due to the current circumstances. As Chrissy's tenth birthday approached, we still spend most of our time in the hospital, Beth would be released within a few weeks, but Mary-Ann was nowhere near ready to go home. One day, about a week after the surgery, we came in, and I thought she seemed worse instead of better than the day before. Sharing a quick glance with Caleb, my findings were confirmed, her skin tone was changing into the other direction again.

Mary-Ann's body was recovering from the surgery, and was starting to show signs of rejection, despite the amount of immunosuppressant's they were pumping into her. Her newly acquired liver was failing. The amount of tears shed were to be expected, but what wasn't, was Mary-Ann's lack of tears all together. She'd known all along, but at the same time knew her family would never understand it, if she hadn't at least tried the transplant. She had been saying goodbye from the moment we had found out about her Cirrhoses, that day at Christmas dinner.

The last time was spent together, as much as the young ones could handle, goodbyes were said, more tears were spilled, onto white sheets of the hospital bed. Two and a half weeks after the transplant, Mary-Ann's body shut down, as one organ after another failed, following the complete rejection of Beth's liver. Thursday, the 29th of January 2015, Mary-Ann Grey passed away, leaving her three girls orphans from that day forth.

* * *

**AN:** Please don't shoot me!


	16. It's all in the genes

**Disclaimer: Twilight is all Stephanie Meyer, I own nothing Twilight. Though I must say, the amount of characters I do own, is rapidly increasing.**

**AN: **First off, I'm gonna say sorry for not updating in like forever! I'm dealing with some stuff, and it's literally draining all my energy, which makes writing really hard. I've got some exciting news though! Vamp-Feenfreak412 is writing a story about Julian, Jared and Kim's son, and his feisty imprint Amalia. She'll post the first chapter real soon, and I can already tell it's gonna be an awesome story! You can find her story in my favorites as soon as it's up, so check it out :)

* * *

It's all in the genes

~*~

POV: Lily

~*~

As I laid in bed, I watched the flecks of dust dance around in the rays of light, peeking into the room through the curtains that were slightly ajar. My breath making them twirl out of orbit, creating chaos in the otherwise flawless pattern, of never ending movements. At moments like these, so early in the morning, the house enveloped in complete silence, the earth appeared to stop rotating. I couldn't help but want to stay like this, residing in this peaceful serenity, burying myself in the numbness of it.

It had been three months since our mom had left us, time had passed without us noticing. February 4th was the day we buried her. In the pouring rain, we gathered to say our final goodbye, standing under large black umbrella's. Water sliding of them continuously, shrouding us like a curtain, hiding our sorrow from the rest of the world, as we held on to each other. Lowering her into the ground felt like dream, like I was taking a peak into someone else's life, cause it sure as hell didn't feel like my own.

We'd lost our mom, but even after all this time it seemed unreal to me, like she had moved someplace else and could return at any given moment. But she hadn't just moved, she had left our lives for good, and there was no way of getting her back. Conflicted I thought about how much her disease had altered her mentally.

During her final weeks, she had given us a glimpse of a person I could but barely remember, from all those years ago. Of course I was glad that the girls got to know her like that, even if it had only been for about a month. But at the same time it seemed unfair, for her to change that radically, only to leave us so soon, after showing us exactly what we would be missing.

Soon after the funeral, the official part of her passing swooped down on me, guardianship was now placed down on my shoulders, its weight infinitely heavier than it had been before. This time me getting custody went without fuss, there was no one to fight me on it. Our parents had never married, and our father had never officially acknowledged us, when Beth agreed that it was the best course of action, the judge had no reason not to grant me permanent custody.

Never had I truly appreciated childhood friendships, but I could see how much strength my sisters drew from them, as they mourned the passing of their mother. Kim's sister Sage was the sweetest girl ever, sticking by Chrissy like she had been glued to her side. Sage was here with us, or Chrissy was over at her or Kim and Jared's place, and according to their teacher it they were inseparable at school as well, never straying far from the other. While Caleb worked hard at entertaining Maya and Maddy, and went wherever Maddy went, making sure she was always taken care of.

Watching the three of them play Monopoly junior, slightly eased the band, that was wound tightly around my heart. A loud knocking announced the end of today's play date, and had me signaling them as I went to open the door. As expected Kim was here to pick up her daughter, and I called to Maya her mom was here, when my eyes fell on her swollen belly.

I remember being shocked about finding out they were expecting, suddenly there had been a baby bump, as if it appeared out of nowhere. She'd been only a little over three months pregnant then, but carrying twins made her show a little early on. Right now she was around her sixth month, having her look like she could pop at any minute, though she was supposed to go another two months.

They'd felt bad about telling us they were welcoming two little ones into their family, while our mom was dying in the hospital, but I had assured there was no reason to feel that way. Pushing down the envy I was experiencing, I smiled at her, they were over the moon about having two boys, as they should be. And it wasn't like I suddenly felt the urge to have a child, one day yes, but not right now. It was that they were celebrating life, that stung.

Though my sisters and I had support, and we were doing relatively well, there always was this strain on everything we did, everything we said. We were continuously keeping ourselves in check, afraid to smile, because how could we experience joy, while we grieved the loss of our mother. And I realized something needed to be done, it was time for us to start living again, we'd take baby steps, but they had to be taken in order for us get our lives back.

But it was so very hard, to allow myself to actually smile, and not be torn apart by guilt. It took some determination, luckily Seth was there to encourage me whenever I lost faith, but if I wouldn't, Chrissy and Maddy wouldn't either. Gradually, taking it one day at a time, happiness returned to our home. I was glad for it, because I was certain she'd want us to be happy.

As summer arrived we were able to enjoy the simple things of the day, Seth dropping the oven dish cause he grabbed it with his bare hands, and jumping around like lunatic, could send us into a giggling frenzy again. We didn't forget her of course, there were hard times each day, but the fun parts were no longer absent. We had a lot of fun with the tiny Hill twins now that they were out of the hospital, they had been born too early, even too early for twins.

Jared and Kim got quite scare when she went into labor at a little over seven months, Tobias and Julian were absolutely tiny, and had to stay inside the incubator for weeks. But they were doing very well now, still small, but healthy, and that was most important. Chrissy and Sage could be found hovering over them, every chance they got, bringing out the little mommies in the pre-teens that they had become. Of course they'd probably lose interest as soon as there were diapers to be changed, but it was cute to see them fuss over the little guys.

"Girls, are you ready yet?" Chris shot me a look that clearly told me to shut up, and ignored me further.

"Christina, we need to go, you have school tomorrow!" With a deep sigh, she put the baby back in its crib, reluctantly leaving him behind, while Maddy was already at my side.

Calling her Chrissy was no longer allowed, it was Chris or Christina, and we'd better abide by it, or she'd throw a fit. My lack of psychic abilities, didn't keep me from predicting she'd be a horrible teenager, remembering my own behavior, I shivered at the thought of dealing with hers. It was one of the reasons I was so happy with our new enlarged family, blood no longer being what bound us, we had been welcomed into the pack family, and I truly began to understand what that meant.

"Thanks so much Kim," she had taken the girls with her from school, as she picked up Maya. Seth couldn't leave work at his regular quitting time, there was something that needed to be finished, and I had to work.

"It's no problem, you know that. Actually, Christina is a big help, she's been busy with Julian all afternoon since Sage wasn't here today," she smiled warmly as she saw us out the door.

Sage lived a few houses down from her big sister, she was there more than she was at home, so that she hadn't been here today was quite unusual. But even best friends had to make way for dentists appointments, not without the necessary drama of course, but that we could handle.

"Lil, what's imprinting?" Christina's sudden question caught me off guard.

"Wh-what? Where did you hear that?" She wasn't supposed to know anything about that, sure she was suspicious of the weird bond her little sister and Caleb had, but throughout the pack, such connections were fairly common.

"Sage said she overheard her sister and Jared talk about it, that Caleb had imprinted on Maddy, what did they mean by that?" Man oh man, how was I going to get out of this one.

"Well, that's… uhm. Maybe they meant that Caleb cares about Maddy a lot?" Glancing at her, I checked if my story was believable.

"You think? It is weird, why does a 22 year old, hangs around with a 6 year old so much? Doesn't he get bored, Maddy is pretty boring." Her last remark immediately brought on a huge argument, Maddy didn't take kindly to being called boring.

~*~

POV: Seth

~*~

Hearing their voices come closer, I tried to listen what they were bickering about this time, but as soon as the door opened Lily separated them, by telling them to get ready for bed. The moment they were headed towards their rooms, Lily nestled herself in my arms, resting her head on my shoulder. Inhaling her sweet scent I drew her closer to me, relaxing as her body molded against mine.

"Chrissy said something interesting on the way back home," she sighed.

"Chrissy? Don't let her hear you say that," I chuckled on top of her head.

"So, what did she say?" I prompted.

"She asked me about imprinting, she said that Sage had overheard Kim and Jared say that Caleb imprinted on Maddy," her voice was steady as she spoke, but I could feel her tense up.

"It's not that it would be so terrible for them to know what it was, I think Maddy would probably be relieved that Caleb would actually wait for her, but I'm afraid it will make Chris feel left out. It would be hard for her to know that both her sisters had an imprint of their own, while she doesn't."

The girls had been told about Caleb and me being wolves for a while now, and since Maya and Sage never had known any differently, it had been fairly easy for them to get used to it. Now they were pretty proud to be in on the big secret, but imprinting had been kept from them, as it had been from most of our kids, somewhere we had concluded it would be best for the young girls not to know, so they didn't feel like they wouldn't have any choices.

Though it seemed useless, every imprinted couple had gotten together so far, with or without knowing about the imprint beforehand. In fact, so far it had happened twice that the girl had been so much younger that the wolf in question, that he had to wait for her to mature. On both occasions, the girls had been in the dark, which had resulted in pretty uncomfortable situations. So maybe it would be better if they had known, but there was no way of actually knowing that.

With these girls everything was different though, so honestly I wouldn't know what would be the best way to go.

"Did you tell her?" I felt her shake her head, so for now the situation was avoided, but it would come up again, without a doubt.

"We'll probably have to though, she's gonna figure it out soon enough, and I want her to hear it from us." Lily was right, and to make sure we were in fact the ones that told her, we couldn't wait too long.

Talking about this, brought another thing to mind, something I'd been wondering about, ever since Caleb imprinted on Maddy. Could it be, that their father was Quileute as well? How much did Lily know about him? He had been around until their mother had been pregnant with Maddy, so she would have been about twelve then, that was probably too young to be familiar with any details, but she might know where he was from.

"Lil, where's your father from?" She gave me a confused look.

"Where did that come from?" She asked me.

"Actually, it's been on my mind since our birthday party, don't you think it was coincidental a wolf imprinted on one of your sisters?" Not that it had to mean anything, it could just be coincidence.

"I'm not sure I'm following you, what do you mean exactly?" She prompted.

"Well, over the years, ever since the wolf gene was activated again, a lot of our sisters suddenly had imprints, but the numbers of imprints not from LaPush is significantly lower. So to have two imprints, from one family, would be a bit unexpected to say the least." Her eyes grew wide.

"Are you saying our father could have been from LaPush as well?" I nodded in affirmation.

"That's what I wanted to ask you, I think there's a good chance that that's the case indeed."

"Well, I have no idea, I wasn't really close with him, and honestly I always assumed he was from there, since we lived there and not here," she let out a big sigh.

"If I knew his name, I could ask Billy about it, I'm sure that he would know, LaPush isn't that big, especially if he was a descendant carrying the wolf gene."

"Sure, you can ask him, his name is Taggert, Frank Taggert." My mouth dropped when she said his name, this wasn't what I'd been expecting.

"What?!" Obviously startled by my reaction.

"Taggert? But your last name is Grey!" No, this wasn't right, I was jumping to conclusion, but then again, what were the odds.

"Yeah, we have our mom's name, why?" She said apprehensively.

"It's just, there's someone with that name here on the rez." She went completely still.

"Frank Taggert?" She finally managed.

"No, not a Frank, but a Taggert, he's my age, a bit younger though. Again, this could all be a weird coincidence, let me look into it, before we assume the wrong thing here," she nodded, and buried her head in my chest.

My mind took off, the guy I'd been talking about, had been one of the wolves who phased just before the Volturi came for Nessie the first time. Sean Taggert, his mom raised him alone, because his father had split even before he was born. He and I weren't really close, so I didn't know the details, but it resembled the little I knew about Lily's dad. It made sense, and he did carry the gene, since his mom wasn't Quileute, it had to have come from him.

The next day I visited Billy, he had gotten so old over the years, wrinkles filled his face, but mentally he was still there completely. Upon seeing it was me knocking at his door, his face broke out in a wide smile, ever since my dad died, he made looking after me a priority. He had become like a father to me, someone I could turn to when in need of guidance, and I was glad he was here to do the same for me again today.

Figuring out that Sean's father and the girl's father, were one and the same, didn't take long. Wow, this was a lot to take in, they actually had a half brother, right here in LaPush. He probably didn't even know about their existence, how would he take to finding out about having three half sisters. Figuring I might as well tell him now, I went by his place, ringing the doorbell a little hesitantly, I didn't even know if he'd be home. The door was opened by Camille, Sean's wife, she looked at me confused, not knowing what to do exactly.

"Seth? Uhm, come on in, I'll let Sean know you're here," but he was already behind her in the hallway, already having heard I was there.

"Thanks, I realize my visit is a little unexpected, but there's something I'd like to talk to you about." He gestured me to follow him, and went into the living room.

It seemed like there was a lot to tell him, when in fact there wasn't, it was simple really. Sure it was shocking, and I couldn't imagine someone ever telling me something like this, but there was nothing complicated or difficult about it. I just had to put it out there, and see how he'd respond. To my surprise he was really excited, I'd ran down a few scenario's in my head on the way down here, this was not one of them, but he clearly was.

As it turned out, that despite the fact that he and his mom were close, and he'd had a good time growing up, he had always felt a little lonely. Having three sisters was something he was very happy about, and he wanted to meet her as soon as possible. Lily had already known what I was up to when I left today, both of us had figured it out, this had just been a confirmation, so when he offered to come home with me to meet them, I didn't object.

Camille came with us as well, she was curious to see who the sisters of her husband were. This was a good thing right, it wasn't like she held her father in high regard or anything. Suddenly having a brother would be weird, but good weird, of course it was… Then why did I find myself unable to shake this anxiousness I was experiencing. And I wasn't the only one, both of them seemed nervous as well, with a fast beating heart, and sweating like a pig, I approached the front door. Please, please, please don't be mad!


	17. Rollercoaster

**Disclaimer: Twilight is all Stephanie Meyer, I own nothing Twilight. Though I must say, the amount of characters I do own, is rapidly increasing.**

**AN: **So many great reviews, it felt so great reading them, thanks so much! Here's another chapter for ya, we're gonna be leaping through time in this chapter, I apologize in advance if it's a bit confusing. Hope you have fun!

Being so grateful to my beta yay4shanghai, I wanna give her a big shout out! Check out her universe, it'll blow your mind :D

* * *

Rollercoaster

~*~

POV: Lily

~*~

I scanned him over, top to bottom, looking for any resemblance between him and my father. Not actually expecting to find any. But to my surprise, there really were. Sure, he was a lot darker than my dad had been, but he sure looked a lot like him. I still couldn't believe it, yet here he was, right in front of me. My brother, well, half brother, and his very pregnant wife Camille. It was almost too much to comprehend, the moment introduced him, would be engraved in my memories forever.

"_Lily, I'd like you to meet Sean Taggert," there was no need for any further explanations, this was the person he'd been talking about._

_Completely ignoring the guy with the outstretched hand in front of me, I turned to Seth. "Are you sure about this? I really don't feel like going through another emotional rollercoaster for nothing!" Even I could hear the venom in my voice, when I spat out the words._

_Sean lowered his hand, disappointment streaking across his face, but right now I couldn't care less. I had to be sure this was actually our brother, because if he wasn't, this would all be one huge let down, or worse. To be dealing with some bullshit like that, right now, would be simply too much. In fact, I was even a little angry at Seth for just springing this on us, he should have known better._

"_Of course I'm sure, I wouldn't have brought him here if I wasn't a 100% positive, that you have the same father," he looked a little insulted that I could even think that of him._

"_How Seth? How can you be sure about something like this, it's not like there's anyone here to verify it," right?_

"_Actually, there is. Seth didn't want to bother my mom with it, knowing she'd get all emotional, but there is someone here, who was indeed able to confirm his suspicions. Besides, he asked me to bring my parents wedding picture, so you could see for yourself." When he was done talking, he handed me a framed picture of my father and a women, which was obviously a wedding photo._

"_They were married?" Somehow that didn't fit the image I had of my father._

"_Not for long though, my mom was pregnant with me when they did, but he left us right after I'd turned one," that sounded more like him._

"_How old are you?" Suddenly curious about how it all had happened._

"_I just turned 22 this March," his brow furrowing in confusion. _

_Seth was starting to look a little pale, for he immediately understood what that meant. If he was born a year and a half before me, it would mean that my mom would have been three months pregnant with me, around Sean's first birthday. Which explained a lot, for one, the timing of his departure, and secondly, my mom's motivation to leave LaPush. I had actually ruined his chance to get to know his father, I felt the guilt swooping in, looking at him regretfully. How would he feel about this little reconnection, if I told him it was me that broke his up the first place._

"_What are you not telling me?" Sean asked suspiciously._

"_I was born November 18__th__ 1994," I looked at him, watching the words reach him, seeing the exact moment it clicked together in his brain. A shocked gasp came from behind him, his wife obviously having come to the same conclusion he had._

That moment the door opened, a busily talking Beth entering, not noticing the dead silence in the room at first, quickly shutting her mouth when she did. Both of the couches in the living room were occupied, Chrissy sat between Seth and me on the biggest, Caleb was on the floor with Maddy, Sean and his wife Camille were on the other. And now Beth was standing by the front door, looking at us, her eyes widening when she noticed Sean and Camille.

"You knew?" I got up, walking towards my aunt, who looked like she'd seen a ghost.

It turned out that she'd had her suspicions about Frank and Mary-Ann back then, and when they left, it was all the confirmation she needed. But when Mary-Ann came back to LaPush last year, she'd told her everything, which was the reason Beth knew her sister had been serious about wanting her daughters back. Because it had been extremely hard to come back here, the idea of facing Lucy, Sean's mother, scared her shitless.

We spent the rest of the afternoon talking, trying to figure out how we could make it less awkward to meet your 22 year old brother for the first time. Eventually we did find out we had a lot of things in common, and began to see each other as family during the next few months. Meeting Lucy, Sean's mom was a bit weird, Sean was worried that finding out Frank had cheated and impregnated a local girl, would break her. According to her, she was a lonely woman, who probably still hadn't come to terms with the fact that her husband had left her. But her reaction stunned us all.

"Mom, this is-" He started, but was interrupted by her, before he could make the introduction.

"You look just like your mother," Lucy smiled, looking at me, her demeanor perfectly calm.

Sean had a dumbfounded look on his face, his mother's knowledge of my existence, was far more extensive than he had anticipated. He figured she must have had some clue of what had happened, because she had never been concerned, but also never shown any indication of hoping for his return.

"Don't looks shocked Sean, I wasn't born yesterday, I knew he'd been sneaking around behind my back since before we were married. It was what my family wanted, or even expected me to do, so I did it, but I knew it wouldn't last. And when your mom could barely look at me anymore, I knew he had been seeing her. The poor girl, she was so young, she didn't know what to do. When I asked her about it, she couldn't even deny it," Lucy stared out of the window, deep in thought as she went on.

"I should have known he'd break her, I still feel guilty for letting her leave. It was so selfish of me, to think that would solve anything, when all I did was put it on her. When Billy told me what happened to her, I felt so horrible. To come home after so long, only to have such little time left."She let out a heavy sigh, before she directed her focus back at us.

Sean was the first to speak ,"why did you never tell me?"

"What was I supposed to tell you, it would only have influenced you in a bad way, I'm sure you would have been afraid you would grow up to be like him." She nodded in the direction of Camille, "when it's always been clear to me that you're nothing like him."

"Ok, I can understand that, I guess. But why haven't you told me when you found out they were back in town?"

"Well, I thought about it, I didn't know exactly what to do then. I'd talked about it with Billy, he told me what they were going through, we didn't think it was right to add to their problems." Again this Billy, he seemed to have his hands in everything around here.

"What does Billy have to do with anything?" At fear of sounding rude, I added a little smile.

Lucy flushed, a faint blush creeping under her dark skin. She was clearly uncomfortable with the question, and started fidgeting with her hair. Not noticing it, Seth started explaining who he was, what sort of role he played on the reservation, and the pack especially. Apparently thinking I'd lost my memory. But in this instant, his position wasn't the reason Lucy had confided in him and trusted his judgment. Seth might have missed it, but Sean and Camille hadn't.

"Mom, are you telling me… You and Billy? " He was kind of freaking out, his mom wasn't as lonely as he had described her to be. As far as I could tell, he hadn't expected her to be in a relationship with anyone, but that it was Billy, seemed to be even more of a surprise. On the other hand, it was natural that she wouldn't want to be alone, especially after Sean had gotten his own place.

"Well, should I have stayed alone after you moved out? He's always been a good friend, and after all our children had grown up and were starting their own families, our bond grew stronger." She explained a little insulted.

"Of course I'm not saying you should be alone or anything like that, but it's just- Well, it's Billy, it's just a little weird, that's all," Sean huffed.

"Well you better get used to it, because he'll be here soon," she smirked.

~*~

POV: Seth

~*~

It was a good thing that there were so many good things happening, we needed to weigh out the fact that we were in heavy training for what would be the biggest fight we'd ever faced. Jacob had reached his limit, the Volturi had been after Nessie since she was a baby, and now that it turned out she was able to conceive, they were even more interested. He couldn't live with the idea, that at any moment they could attempt to take her from him, or even worse, succeed. So he planned on taking out the Volturi, along with Nathan, Nadira and Fathiya, they thought up a strategy.

Just as winter was reaching its full potential, Camille gave birth to a beautiful little girl, Faye. That winter was a cold one, the temperature seemed to drop further than it had in years, but it could have been the state of mind we were in. But especially in situations like these you learn to appreciate the happy events that cross our paths, so when Billy and Lucy married, while snow flecks fluttered down from the sky, we couldn't have been happier.

When we finally left on January 2017, it was so hard for us to say goodbye to our imprints and children, who were staying at home. All except Nadira an Fathiya, they had been a part of our defense system since they were now in full control of their powers, so the witch sisters were coming with us as well, their imprints Taylan and Embry hated that we needed them. Part of the plan had been the element of surprise, we were able to hold up a façade with help of our very own witch girls, which was exactly why we had no chance of succeeding without them.

Our journey had a rough start, with Embry and Nadira fighting the entire time, at first I thought it was ridiculous for them to behave like that, but then it turned out Nadira was pregnant. Brady and Jacob instantly understood his concern, they had to leave their pregnant imprints when we left, but at least they weren't actually participating in the fight. Despite Embry's arguments, Jacob agreed with Nadira, that it was best for her to come with us, and boy was I glad she had. Because without here, none of us would've been here today.

She'd been the one to save us all, well not all, but she was the one to do it. The moment she saw them murder her sister in front of her eyes, she lost it. With her anger, she released such power, she took out all the remaining vampires, while we had been on the losing side up until then. Of course we were grateful for the victory, but it was impossibly hard to comprehend that Fathiya had to pay with her life for us to reach it. In order for us to be able to grieve our grave loss, we needed to get everybody home, because in this condition we wouldn't be able to process it, it still seemed unreal to me now. And since there were several heavily wounded amongst the survivors, Caleb and myself including, we also needed our imprints to recover properly, that made getting back to LaPush our biggest priority.

We'd been away for weeks, and as we got closer to LaPush I could feel the pull getting stronger, I couldn't wait to be able to hold Lily again. We arrived by car, unable to phase like the other wounded wolves, who had recovered enough to travel in wolf form. Both Caleb and I were awake and eager to get back to our girls, who by now knew that we had been injured. But every now and then we glanced back at Taylan, who was in the backseat of the van, completely unconscious most of the time, without any clue that he had lost his imprint in the battle.

Lily was crying when I hugged her as best I could, I felt so much better having her in my arms after so long. Knowing you love and need someone, is completely different from having to experience it, and it wasn't something I was looking forward to going through ever again. Maddy was in a total frenzy, trying to get close to Caleb, her patience and control gone when she caught sight of him. When she finally was able to clasp her arms around his neck, she plastered herself to him, refusing to let go. While her sisters were welcoming their wolves, it became clear to Christina what was going on, she recognized the link between her sister and Caleb. At the moment nobody noticed it, it took us quite a while to catch on.

Caleb and I recovered a lot better now that we had our imprints close, within a matter of days we were back to our old selves again. A lot was happening, apparently Lily who practically hated Nessie when we had left, had bonded with her, after having arguing with her on multiple occasions. Then there was the service we held for the one we'd lost, during which Taylan behaved very unusual, all of us expected him to be incapable of doing anything after having lost his imprint. It was obvious he was filled with grief, but there was something else there as well, something I couldn't quite put my finger on.

But when all the craziness had died down, it became apparent, Christina was having trouble with what was happening between Caleb and Maddie. She was twelve now, boys were the main subject of her talks with Sage, she was starting to get obsessed with watching the wolves interact with their imprints. She still didn't know exactly what the deal was, we hadn't told her yet about imprinting, but she was figuring out a lot with the help of Sage.

They'd come to the conclusion, that a lot of wolves, had one single girl or women, to whom they were devoted, for whom they'd do pretty much anything. Especially Claire and Julie were interesting to watch, they had just turned 14 and 17, and their only focus at this point were Mason and Quil. We thought it was time to tell her about imprinting, and after discussing it with Jared and Kim, we decided we would tell them together. Which was when all hell broke loose.

While Sage didn't like it that no wolf had imprinted on her, it was nowhere near as horrible a Christina's reaction, who was freaking out about the fact that nobody had imprinted on her. From that moment on she became impossible, acting out, defying us, seizing every opportunity that passed her to do so. Sage was the only one she confided in, the only one she allowed anywhere near her. And when a year later it turned out that even Sage had an imprint, she was banished from Christina's worlds as well.

As she grew older things got worse, instead of better, she was angry at the world. The girl was so messed up, and I had no idea how to help her, she reminded me of how Leah had been, after Sam had imprinted on Emily. Nothing and nobody had been able to help her either, until Tom came along that was. If only a wolf would imprint on her, but despite the fact that during the last year two boys phased, none of them had imprinted on her. Lately I'd been fearing she'd be one to phase herself. The way her temper manifested, and the fact that she'd grown very tall for a girl, were signs that she carried the gene as well.

Closing in on the summer of 2021, it happened. During one of her outbursts of anger, she started shaking. I had gotten her out of the house just in time, Maddy watching her from behind the window, a shocked look on her face, when her big sister exploded into a big ball of fur. When I phased as well, with the intention of calming her down, I got a peek into the inner workings of her mind. She was in so much pain, the course of her life having scarred her unimaginably, so scared to let anyone in, because she was afraid they'd leave her as well. Never in my life had I seen such loneliness.

It didn't last long, because when she realized I was reading her most private thoughts, she demanded I phase back, so that I couldn't listen in any longer. Mituna was able to get her to phase back, as Jared's sister and part of the pack, there had been a time Sage and Christina had followed her around like two little puppies. On top of that, Mituna was suffering from a broken heart as well, her boyfriend admitted to her that he had imprinted on another girl, after they had been together for five years. That would be so much fun, having two bitter girls in the pack.

Reluctantly I'd called Jake about the new addition, letting him know she wouldn't be easy to deal with. With a chuckle he shrugged it off, a 16 year old girl, how much trouble could she be. But he had no idea how many headaches she would cause us all, how often we'd try to trade of patrols that had to be run with her. After only a few weeks, we were all praying for an imprint, though chances of that happening were slim. There were no new wolves expected for a while, and none of the other female wolves had imprinted, so there was nothing we could do but wait, however long it would take.

In the middle of the night I lay awake, thinking about everything that had happened over the past few years, and couldn't help but think about life as one big rollercoaster, spinning us around from one side to the other. Lifting us up high, only to drop us down low again. With Christina's phasing, I figured we were up for another high again, and I sincerely hoped it wouldn't be too long until it arrived.

* * *

**AN:** I plan on doing a story on Christina somewhere in the future, which would make it the second story in his universe, revolving a second generation wolf. The first being written by Vamp-Feenfreak412, called Something Else Completely. Which revolves around Julian, Jared and Kim's son, and his imprint Amalia from the Bronx. The first two chapters are up, and it's your first view into the lives of the young wolves and imprints in my universe!


	18. Looking to the future

**Disclaimer: Twilight is all Stephanie Meyer, I own nothing Twilight. Though I must say, the amount of characters I do own, is rapidly increasing.**

**AN: **This was going to be one chapter, but it became so long, I had to cut it into two. Resulting in an entire chapter from Lily's pov, so the next one will probably be Seth's side of the story again. As you might have noticed, this story is sorta coming to an end, I hope to finish it before the end of the month, but I can't make any promises.

I wanna thank my beta yay4shanghai, for taking the time out of her busy schedule to beta my story!

* * *

Looking to the future

~*~

POV: Lily

~*~

Negative… again. All the hope I'd so foolishly built up, sank into my shoes. Why was this happening to me?!

In September 2017, about six months after the battle, I went back to school. Suddenly having a family as big as ours had certain advantages, the care of my sisters didn't weigh as heavy as it had in the beginning, besides they had been nine and thirteen by then. Being in the situation we had been in then, where the pack had to go up against the their biggest enemy, had taught me life was short, too short to keep standing still. So I enrolled that summer, so I would be able to start taking classes in the fall semester at the college in Port Angeles. So at 22 I finally started college, working towards the life I had always wanted.

Until then Seth had been fairly content, working for Sam at the construction company he owned with Jared and Paul. But after the battle he wanted something else, though he wasn't sure what that might be. As if the universe had sensed his restlessness, the ideal opportunity was thrown into his lap. The football coach at the high school was about to retire, and since Seth had always been on the team, even though it had been against Sam's whishes, the principal thought of him. The job was perfect for him, and he loved doing it very much.

Finding a job proved to be much easier than I had anticipated, even before I graduated, I was hired to be the guidance councilor at the LaPush high school, starting the next school year 2021-2022. Chances were it had something to do with Seth being a teacher there, but I liked to believe I would've gotten the job as well without him. Slowly our lives were falling into place, things were finally looking up for us.

It was around the time that I was getting ready for my graduation that Christina phased, Seth had seen it coming, but kept hoping he was wrong about it. This amplified her attitude, which had been horrible even before it happened, I felt like she was spinning out of control. At least now that she was a wolf, I had to worry less about her, with the entire pack looking over her shoulder. Not only was the pack the best back up one could possibly ask for, her physical safety was ensured due to her superhuman state. Though I found it devastating to see her so unhappy, marching on the path of self destruction, if theoretically she'd been able to. Apart from her pack duties, which she only performed because her Alpha Jake ordered her to, she hung around doing nothing, or partying and drinking so much that even she, a wolf, could get wasted.

Our little sister Maddie had to be the exact opposite, she was twelve years old now, almost thirteen, and doing great in school and everywhere else for that matter. She and Maya were still best friends, though they were often in the company of one or some of the many other friends they had. Then there was Caleb, his presence in her life wasn't exactly what you would call a bad influence either. She had grown closer to him, counting on him to be there whenever she needed him, and he had yet to let her down.

Which was why we had bought a house the summer of 2021, hoping to move in before I started working in the fall. It wasn't huge, but it was a lot roomier that the house we had been renting until then. We were able to acquire it far below market value, because the previous owner had passed away, and his family wanted to sell it as soon as possible. He had lived there alone for numerous years, so it wasn't in very good condition, but that was absolutely no problem for us. Seth asked a couple of the guys to help fix it up, which wasn't such a bad job in the summer, so it was in tip top shape again.

"What should we do with this room?" Seth's arms snaked around my waist as he stood behind me in the doorway, looking into the small room next to our bedroom.

"Hmm, I was just thinking about that," I sighed when he trailed sweet kisses along my neck.

"How about a nursery?" Seth said between kisses.

My heart skipped a beat, it was exactly what I had been thinking a moment ago, a baby. Most of the rooms were finished already, so that we had been able to move in last week, all except for this small one. Somehow we hadn't discussed possible purposes for it, focusing on the rooms that were designated already.

Were we ready to start a family of our own? In a way we had been a family for years, my sisters were like our children, but they had almost grown up. Maybe it was time to start thinking about a baby, a little Seth, that would be absolutely adorable. Without noticing it, I was smiling, thinking about what it would be like.

He chuckled softly, "I'm guessing you're not completely opposed to discussing that idea?"

"Oh god, there they go again!" Christina made a gagging noise as she walked passed us towards her room at the end of the hall, slamming the door shut behind her. As horrible as it was, this was her acting like her regular self, it had gone so far that we hardly even paid attention to it anymore.

Deliberately we left the room empty, so that when the moment arrived we could start working on it together. Every now and then I walked into it, gazing out the window, overlooking the backyard. It would be perfect as a baby room, I had pictured what the room would look like at least a million times, ever since he first mentioned it. Birth control pills had been thrown out the window, we decided to start trying for a little one, expecting it wouldn't take long, with Seth's wolfy qualities and all. But nothing happened, month after month my period came, it was driving me crazy.

The only time when I was paying less attention to my baby obsession, which it had become after almost a year of trying, was when things were finally looking up for Christina. Two months after her 18th birthday she was almost ready to graduate, a point to where we had doubts of her reaching it at all, it took us a lot of effort to keep her in school at all, but finally it paid off.

Gabriel Sky came to LaPush in March 2022, he was Rebecca Black and her husband Jason's oldest son, he had started to show signs of transformation and was hauled back to LaPush in a hurry. Rebecca had been on the phone with Billy, when she told him about this weird fever he was running, a couple of questions later, Billy had known he was on the verge of phasing. And indeed he phased almost upon arriving in LaPush to days later, though he was only fifteen years old. Apparently a group of vampires had crossed through the islands, triggering the gene that nobody was even aware that he carried. He had changed her view of the world, the negativity that had been flooding it, seeped away through new found openings. An imprint I was thoroughly grateful for.

But eventually I returned to the same state I had been in before, counting the days, waiting for the inevitable. Hiding it from the world, pretending I was perfectly fine. And though there was plenty going on in my life to be distracted by every day, it always had a place in the background, drifting back to me whenever my mind was still.

By the time next summer came around, and I still wasn't pregnant, I was starting to worry. It had to be me, Seth's genetic make-up made it impossible for him to be the one with the problem. I had been late at least four times over the past year, the first time I had been convinced I was pregnant, the disappointment when I turned out not to be with child had been world shattering. Each time that came after that was harder, watching as the home test told me I wouldn't be welcoming a little Clearwater into the world, more devastating.

Today, almost two years after we had started trying, I was late an entire week, and though I knew better, I allowed my mind to wonder. Opposed to the rest of the time, when I tried to keep my dreams from running off with me all together. But yet again, the test read the same words "NOT PREGNANT" as if it was taunting me, stupid things. I sank down against the bathroom wall, feeling completely lost and sad. The first few times I'd told Seth about being late, but having to see his face over and over again as he realized that it was just a false alarm, became too painful.

So instead I just went through it alone, feeling is though I'd lost something, even if I'd never been pregnant to begin with. But rationalizing was no use, it hurt so much, every single time. Silent tears crept their way down across my face, was it really so much to ask for? A little baby of my own, all soft and warm, smelling delicious. That smell haunted me in my dreams, because every time a baby would be born into our huge extended family, which was fairly often, I tortured myself by cuddling him or her close to me, enjoying the feeling of the soft warm tiny person in my arms.

What was worse was that the three women within the pack I was closest to, had all been given the pleasure of bringing a new life into the world. First Nessie gave birth to her and Jake's son Liam, in January 2022. Then a few months later Nadira and Embry's second daughter Zafira was born, and the one that I experienced as most difficult was Camille's pregnancy, this would be their third child. Her due date being in August, resulted in her having a huge belly, you could even feel the little one kick from the outside. After our half brother Sean and his wife Camille became part of our family, Camille and I had become closer, now she had to be my best friend, which why it was so painful to endure. I had to watch her go through all the phases of her pregnancy, right in front of me. Seeing how easy they were able to conceive made the green eyed monster in me emerge, it wasn't that I thought they didn't deserve it, but I simply wanted to join them.

That horrid room was still there, awfully white and empty, since I refused to use it for anything else. The only difference to it now, was what it stood for. Whereas it had been hope and dreams that symbolized its existence before, now it represented a feeling of loss and disappointment, to the point where entering caused a lot of anxiety. As a result the door was shut tight, gathering dust, as it constantly reminded me of my failures. Suddenly a knock sounded on the door. Quickly I shot up, hastily putting away the remnants of the test kit that lay scattered across the tiled floor. The door swung open, Seth stood in the doorway, screwdriver still in his hand from picking the lock, a pained look on his face.

"What are you doing?" His voice sad.

"Nothing, I was just-" I didn't finish my sentence as I threw everything in the trashcan, and wiped my tears.

"Lily," he opened his mouth to say more, but he refrained, but his face told me more than words ever could.

"Don't worry about it, I'm ok," I tried to be nonchalant about it, but he didn't buy it.

"You're not ok Lily, you can't keep doing this to yourself. Don't you think I know what's been going on? How many of those tests you've taken without me? I know." He put his finger under my chin, forcing me to look at him.

"I'm sorry Seth, I didn't want to keep anything from you, I just couldn't bear the look on your face every time I disappointed you." My voice hitched, as the tears started flowing again.

"You disappointing me? There's no such thing," he tried to three lightly, but as an elephant in a China cabinet, it was impossible not to cause damage.

"I have, over and over again, we both know it's not your fault I can't get pregnant!" Frustration boiled up inside of me, causing my anger to flare up.

"Is that what you've been telling yourself? That it's your fault you're not pregnant yet?"

"Well it is!" I said forcefully. "I know it is."

"Before we jump to any conclusions, we should talk to Kyle about it, he can probably run some tests, get a better idea of what the problem is." Kyle had been the pack doctor ever since the Cullen's moved, they're not aging problem, along with a lack of vampire council ever since the Volturi fell, had forced them to relocate.

As I had expected it had been me. Jokes using plumbing as a metaphor for the reproductive system of the human body, were suddenly not so funny anymore. The way some women had their tubes tied, mine were blocked, grown almost entirely shut, keeping any eggs from traveling to my uterus. There was a relatively new procedure they could perform, which if successful, would tremendously increase my possibilities of getting pregnant. But there was also a chance of scar tissue caused by the surgery, would block them all over again. Basically the part with the blockage would be taken out, so that theoretically, he path would be cleared again. Not everyone with blocked fallopian tubes could be helped with this procedure, I was.

Now that we knew what was wrong, we went to Nadira with it, hoping she could solve the problem for me. She explained that it didn't work like that, she could only do something if something was broken or damaged, literally healing a wound of any kind. But something like clearing a blockage, wasn't something she could do. Surgery seemed to be our only option, and since it was neither dangerous or invasive, we decided to try it.

Seth had one condition though, after the surgery, I would have to stop focusing on it, no more time tables, or cycle schedules, no more waiting. If we were meant to have kids we would have them, one way or another, but he wanted me to stop obsessing with having a baby, whatever happened happened, he said. The idea of just letting go was very appealing, this surgery would be the last thing we did trying to have a baby, and that would be a good thing. At the beginning of the summer of 2022, I had the surgery, taking me out of the running for no more than two weeks, though internally I was still recovering a few weeks after that. The results were inconclusive, it had been successful, but there was some scarring. Now they weren't completely blocked, but only partial, still limiting my chances of getting pregnant severely.

"Hmm, that smells mouthwatering," I stepped into the kitchen, where Seth had been busy for at least two hours. Every time I tried to enter the cooking area, he shooed me away, making sure I didn't see what he was doing. Christina was visiting Gabe's father with him in Hawaii, and Maddie was at camp with Maya this week, which gave us the house to ourselves for an entire week.

"Lily, you are truly relentless!"He laughed, pulling me closer, holding a spoon out in front of me to taste.

"Wow Seth, it's delicious!" The powerful spicy taste, made my taste buds tingle, enjoying the unique flavor.

"You really should cook more often," I teased him, because he did almost all the cooking, since I wasn't the world's best chef . Having two to four wolves at the dinner table on a daily basis, with excellent sense of smell and so on, it would be unfair for me to cook more that once a week.

"Yeah yeah, you're so funny, just get outside will ya," yet again he chased me from the kitchen.

When I walked onto the patio my mouth dropped, in the middle there was a table set for two, champagne glasses, candles, the whole shebang. While the rest of the area was covered with roses, the torches at the corners lit, as the sun was slowly beginning to set.

"Do you like it?" Seth asked coming up behind me.

I swirled around to face him, "it's beautiful." Pulling him down to me, my lips found his, passion instantly igniting as we touched.

"Let's save some for later shall we," Seth joked, pulling me to the table.

"I'll never be out of need for you, so there's no need to save anything," I murmured, playfully biting below his jaw.

"Hmmm," he moaned, when I trailed hot kisses down to his collarbone. He pushed lightly at my shoulders, making me halt my ministrations.

"As enticing as that sounds, I think we should wait until after dinner," he sighed regretfully, before pushing me into my seat.

Dinner was wonderful, relaxed, just us, exactly the way I liked it. But there was something going on beneath the surface, and though I couldn't quite figure out what it was exactly, I was sure he was up to something. He was fidgeting, and seemed to be anxious for something, and when he popped open a dark blue velvet box, I saw what it was. The last rays of sunlight reflecting on the small stone, just before dropping below the horizon completely, leaving the dimmed light of the torches as our sole source of light. Taking in a huge breath, not realizing I'd been holding it, I blinked a few times, making sure I wasn't dreaming.

We had never really discussed marriage, neither of us the traditional type. Living with living legends was quite enough tradition if you asked me. But now that he was proposing, I suddenly wanted to very badly, reigning in my excitement I waited until he actually asked me. After which I rushed around the table and jumped into his lap, screaming yes at least ten times over.


	19. Mr and Mrs Clearwater

**Disclaimer: Twilight is all Stephanie Meyer, I own nothing Twilight. Though I must say, the amount of characters I do own, is rapidly increasing ;)  
**

**AN: **Ok there's just too much I wanna do in Lily's pov, so this is gonna be a chapter from both pov's. As the title suggests, this is the wedding chapter, which means pictures are up on my photobucket account.

Thanks again to my fabulous beta yay4shanghai, for getting this back to me so fast.

* * *

Mr. and Mrs. Clearwater.

~*~

POV: Seth

~*~

Walking into the house, I heard her, again. I can't tell you how often it's happened, because I'm fairly sure she tries to hide it from me, doing pregnancy tests when I'm not home. If only one of them would be positive, but it always told her what she didn't want to hear. It breaks me every time I hear her cry, knowing she wouldn't be getting what she so desperately wanted. I was upstairs within moments, screwdriver ready to disengage the bathroom lock, which she had locked even though nobody had been home.

Getting in there didn't take long, and what I saw tore at my heart, she was so sad, I couldn't bear it. It didn't matter that she was my imprint and I wanted to give her whatever she wanted, this was something I couldn't make happen, so I had to watch her suffer. What made it harder was the fact that I would've loved having some little ones run around, playing in the backyard, I always pictured myself as a dad when I got older, but it appeared to be not in the cards for us.

Whether or not we were able to have children, this had to stop. This had to be the last time I had found her like this. I made her promise to see Kyle with me, so we knew what was going on, and have a more definitive answer on the question whether or not we would ever conceive. Taking her in my arms I let her cry, hating feeling so damned helpless, it took her hours to calm down. She actually felt like it was her fault, like she was doing something wrong, which made me want to hit myself for not making more of an effort to persuade her otherwise.

"It doesn't have to be like that," I whispered, my fingers playing on the skin of her shoulder with one hand, while she was laying on my other arm, using it as a pillow for her head.

"Like what?" She turned her head looking back at me.

"We could adopt," I said, hoping not to upset her, "look at my sister, and Nadira, they're both adopted and see how great that worked out."

"Well, first of all, your sister and Tom adopted Nadira when she turned seventeen, because she only came to them when she was sixteen. On top of that, they had twins afterwards," Lily stated matter-of-factly.

"And Nadira, well that's entirely different, she and Embry only adopted Isa because of the circumstances she was in, not because they were looking to adopt. Nadira was not even 21 when she gave birth to Micah, only to have Duniya five years later." Sadness filled her voice.

"I don't want to discuss adoption until I know for sure that I can't have children myself," the force in her words made me drop it instantly, I was only making it worse. She still thought of it as her problem, instead of ours.

"Ok baby, I understand, I'm sorry for bringing it up." I sighed deeply, frustrated for not being able do more for her. Throughout the night I held her, unable to keep my mind from wondering what the doctor's visit would bring us, and I was sure she was doing the exact same thing.

He told us that her fallopian tubes were completely blocked, but with surgery there was a chance they would be able to remove the blocked part, offering us a chance at conceiving. I was happy to hear that we still had options, that we might be able to make a baby together, and I could tell from her reaction I wasn't the only one. Though a part of me was actually disappointed when Kyle didn't just rule out getting pregnant all together, not that I didn't want to have babies with Lily, but if there was no chance of having a baby at all, she would eventually move on, and not be so stuck on it as she was now.

Her having the surgery was scary as hell, she was scared because it was her last possibility of having a child, and she was afraid that she would be told it had all been for nothing. While I was scared that something would go wrong, or that she would break down if she heard it wouldn't be successful, or if it would, that she wouldn't be able to let go of her obsession after all. I made her promise to live for her, to try and be happy, instead of focusing in getting pregnant, but I had no guarantee that she would actually be able to do it.

When Kyle came out to meet me in the waiting room, I was so relieved to hear that it had gone very well. We still had to wait and see what the results were over time, but as far as they could see, things were looking good. Her recovery was short, she was up and about within weeks, even though I told her to take it easy. What made me very happy was that she was really trying to move on, planning fun stuff for us to do, keeping busy.

"Seth, I wanna go see the Aurora Borealis," she said suddenly while gazing out to the stars.

"The what?" I asked confused, I had no idea what she was talking about.

"The northern lights, you know, the lights that dance in the sky," her eyes lit up as she spoke with such enthusiasm, it made my heart spill over.

"If that's what you want, that's what we'll do," I vowed solemnly, this was the Lily I knew so well, and I was glad to have her back.

When her sisters were away for an entire week, I proposed to her, over a home cooked meal. Making me the happiest man alive when she said yes, and let me slip the ring around her finger. It wasn't an expensive one, both of us had a teacher's salary, which made it possible for us to have a good life, but would never make us rich. The ring was simple, yet beautiful, and now that it was on her finger, I saw that suited her very well. We enjoyed our desert feeding it to each other, having a lot of fun with the whipped cream, ending up all sticky and in desperate need of a shower. Zapping through the channels I waited for Lily to get out of the shower, bored with whatever was on tv, over a hundred channels, but still nothing interesting could be found.

She entered the room, wrapped in a towel, small drops of water glistening on her skin, looking too delicious to resist. Within moments I was next to her, trailing kisses along her bare back, my hands moved to the towel, removing it from her soft damp skin, before I dropped it onto the floor. She shivered under my touch, her heartbeat quickening as my hand moved to her small breasts, cupping and molding them one at a time. She arched her back, pressing them into my hands, while at the same time pushing her butt against my growing arousal, letting her head fall back against my chest.

"Mmm Seth, that feels so good," she moaned.

Moving down to her throbbing sweet spot, I drew lazy circles around before pushing down on it with thumb, her moans growing louder. While my thumb kept going, I entered her with two fingers, her wetness pooling around them as I pushed into her. Lying down on the bed, I lifted her onto me, to have a better access. She sat up, so that she could replace my fingers with my rock hard member, lowering herself onto me. She moved up and down my shaft, increasing her speed, and I knew she was getting close to reaching her climax. Moaning loudly her walls clenched around me, twitching forcefully, she rode out her orgasm until the tremors died down.

I flipped us over so that she was under me, "ugh!" With one forceful thrust I pushed into her from behind, enveloping myself into her welcoming warmth.

Gripping her hips, I roughly moved in and out of her, and I could feel she was already building up towards another release. Grunting loudly when I was getting closer myself, I held onto her hips, pumping into her center harder, until I exploded inside of her, sending her over the edge as well. Utterly wasted we lay there, an entanglement from limbs and sheets, the perfect way to celebrate our engagement. When she dozed off I thought about our wedding, and were we would spend our honeymoon.

Secretly I had already been planning our honeymoon, even before she even said yes. She loved the winter, snow, and everything that went with it, so my plan was to take her up north to Alaska. There was a resort in a little town just outside Anchorage, the town center and ski slopes very nearby. After I had checked to make sure the Northern lights would be visible there, and there was no need for us to go up farther north, I knew that was the one. There were chalets build around a main building, where the highly recommended restaurant was located, but each of the chalets was equipped with a full kitchen as well. The big advantage of chalets were the privacy, especially with the private hot tubs that were conveniently located on the back deck of each chalet. As if that wasn't enough, there was a huge spa, where you could relax whilst enjoying a massage, sauna arrangement, or a full spa treatment.

~*~

POV: Lily

~*~

"Nope, nope, nope, nope," each dress I sawjust wasn't what I was looking for.

"Uhm Lily, you think you're ever gonna find a dress you like?" Camille asked cautiously.

Looking at the others, I could tell they shared her concern. Nessie, Nadira, Leah, Beth and Sue had come with us to pick a wedding dress for me, and hopefully bridesmaid dresses for Camille and my sisters. But so far we hadn't found anything, meaning I hadn't.

"Not if they're all this boring!" The shop assistant made a small ahum sound at the insult.

"I'm sorry, boring is the wrong word, they're just not for me, they're all so wedding dress like," I sighed deeply before plopping into one of the many comfortable chairs. My last remark had earned me a lot of frowns and weird looks.

"But all the non-traditional dresses were too non-traditional, do you even know what you want?" Leah asked flat out.

"I haven't got a clue, but I'm sure I'll know it when I see it." I was, but it was no wonder they were starting to doubt me, today we'd been to nine different stores in Seattle alone.

"Might I make a suggestion?" The shop assistant stepped forward, a garment bag in her hands.

"Well, it can't hurt," with all the dresses she had hanging here, I doubted she'd have anything for me.

When she zipped it open, I fell in love. "Wow! It's gorgeous, were have you been hiding that?!"

It turned out that she, Jiao, a Chinese woman somewhere in her twenties, was dabbing in wedding design herself. But since her style was a bit unorthodox, it was difficult for her to sell any of her designs, especially since the owner didn't like them. This was one of the few she had designed herself, and it was just what I was looking for. It was a perfect mixture between traditional and different, the white strapless A-line gown would be very regular without the black lace, with it the dress became just a tad bold. When I tried it on the reaction I got, confirmed what I had known the moment I saw it, this was the one, I had finally found it.

"It's perfect," I stood in front of the three sided mirror, admiring it from every angle.

Jiao became so enthusiastic when she saw how much we loved her dress, that a moment later she was running off again, rummaging around in the store. "I've got an idea for the bridesmaid dresses!" She said looking back over her shoulder.

She returned with a white bridesmaid dress in one hand, and a black lace ribbon in the other. "Who're gonna be the bridesmaids?" She asked looking around.

A few minutes later Camille was wearing the white dress with the black lace around her middle, looking absolutely gorgeous. Jiao, seemed to understand exactly what I wanted, and I was sure she'd get a lot of customers from LaPush in the future. She couldn't sell me the wedding gown, since officially it wasn't part of the collection, but we ordered three of the white bridesmaid dresses for Camille and my sisters, and made a private arrangement for the wedding dress. Now that the dress was found, we could start planning the wedding, in which Jiao was immediately included, seeing as how well she clicked with us.

Camille turned out to be the best maid of honor I could've imagined, she went through all of it when she and Sean got married, and now she was showing me the ropes. As we moved on to smaller details, the wedding date got closer. We would get married in January, in the middle of the winter, and if everything went as I hoped, in the middle of the snow. My sisters went with us to Seattle for a dress fitting, Jiao had given us a call that the dresses had arrived, and that we could stop by whenever her boss wasn't around, so she wouldn't see which dress I had chosen.

The day had not gone exactly according to plan, sure I had my dress, and the girls had theirs, but Jiao had lost her job. Her boss had dropped in unexpectedly when a delivery would be coming in a day ahead of schedule, the moment she connected the dots, she fired Jiao on the spot. The woman who, judging by her dresses on display and the new ones that had just arrived, had no sense of taste whatsoever, had fired her extremely gifted and creative employee, just like that. Apparently she was new to the area, she didn't even have her own place yet, so we took her with us, determined we'd help her get back on her feet after we had cost her a very much needed job.

The morning of the wedding I was so nervous I could barely sit still while Nessie was doing my make-up, her aunt Alice had taught her a lot, which made her the expert in present company. Last night I wouldn't have slept at all, if it hadn't been for the sleeping pill Camille had made me take, for which I was now grateful she had done after all. Once I'd opened the curtains, I saw that a beautiful white blanket covered the world, the white snow glistening in the sunlight. I had been calm then, but the moment the girls entered the room, the peace and quiet was done for. Though the end result was well worth it in the end, I had always found myself to be too skinny, and lacking any curves, but right now I really did look beautiful.

"Who's mister yummy over there?" Jiao and I were looking down at the arriving guests from above.

"That is Kyle's nephew, Landon," it was difficult for Kyle and his brothers having to keep the secret from their nephew.

He was an only child, raised by his mom, Kyle's aunt, since his dad had died when Landon had been very young. Though they had been like brothers growing up, he had drifted apart from them when they got older, and now that Kyle and his brothers were all part of the pack, it wasn't getting any better. Though Landon was Quileute, he either didn't have the gene, or it wasn't triggered in time. He was only two years older than Kyle, but he and his mom weren't around during his teenage years, his mom's boyfriend was moving to god knows where, and they hadn't returned until Landon had been almost twenty.

Waiting seemed to take forever, but finally it was time. I was eager to marry Seth, looking forward to it for almost six months, planning every little detail of this day, and now I was finally going to be Mrs. Seth Clearwater. Walking towards him, seeing his face light up when he saw me, it was a feeling I could never have imagined. The ceremony seemed to pass without us actually being a part of it, except for the part where we said our vows, and promised to be there for each other for the rest of our lives. Since this was also the day of Seth's retirement, we really would, which made the promise that much more meaningful.

At the reception I danced until my feet hurt, mostly with Seth, with whom I enjoyed dancing the most. But I also danced with a lot of pack members, and of course with my brother Sean, who had walked me down the aisle, since I didn't have a father around to do it.

"I love you," Seth had found his way back to me, holding me close against him.

"I love you too, " I sighed, resting my head against his shoulder, taking in his musky scent.

"Where are we going?" I sat snuggled up against Seth as we drove towards the airport. He had insisted the honeymoon would be completely his to plan, I had no idea where we were going, and no matter how many times I asked he refused to tell me, since that would ruin the surprise.

"You'll see," he chuckled as the car pulled into the departure parking lot.

"Mr. and Mrs. Clearwater?" The stewardess checking us in asked. That was the first time we had been called that, and it sounded so good, Mr. and Mrs. Clearwater.


End file.
